Captivity in Liberation

Poetess. Writer. Occasional ranter. Wonder woman.

[cwote]

cartoons can teach us so much :)

[captivityinliberation]

Recess

The bell just rang which means that it's time for recess. Everyone jumps out of their seats with their friends and runs to the swings or to the ground to play. I look at my favourite person in class, hoping that she will ditch her best friend for me, but she doesn't. I take out my lunch box. My dad has made my favourite sandwich: a lot of salted butter and a touch of strawberry jam. I walk down the stairs and look towards the swings, but they're too crowded. I look at the ground and everyone is running around and playing. I do have money but by the time I'll reach the canteen, my recess will be over. So I walk to the concrete bench by the ground under the tree. I turn my face away from the ground towards the building which has my class, and I eat quietly. I try not to look around, but I secretly hope that someone will notice me sitting alone and come sit with me. No one does and my sandwich is also finished by now. I close my lunch box and walk back to the class thinking about what's it like to have friends. I reach the class and see some misfits like me sitting in the class alone. We silently acknowledge each other and wait for recess to be over so that we can forget that we ate alone. The bell rings and the misery is over. Another day goes by.

[captivityinliberation]

Lullabies

You always put me to sleep

With these sweet little lullabies

They start with the perfect harmony

And then highlight mere lies

You always put me to sleep

With these sweet little lullabies

Which apparently make you laugh

But they make me cry

You always put me to sleep

With these sweet lullabies

And little did you know tonight

You were pushing me to die

[captivityinliberation]

Did God make a separate world for the ones with the most forget-able faces but the biggest hearts!!?

[captivityinliberation]

Run Barry, run!

I am very tired of running but I'm afraid of stopping, because if I do, I'll get hurt again. So I'll run till I'm out of breath, and maybe, just maybe, the air will suck me in and I'll disappear.

[captivityinliberation]

Losing love feels like losing someone to death. You've lost a part of the person that you will never see again. You've lost an experience you'll never feel again. You have memories but there is no way they will come back to you. It's gone and like death, it starts with denial but that only sustains for a while. Then you have to live with the harsh reality: the hollow vacuum left in your chest.

"I lost the love I loved the most"

[captivityinliberation]

100%

Every harsh treatment is 100% justified. Being kicked while you're down is 100% justified. That's the price of being 100% imperfect - standards set that you never match.

[captivityinliberation]

I. Me. Who?

I cannot be me.

I embarrass myself by having childish needs. I don't think things through so I end up embarrassing myself in front of people closest to me.

I am only my past.

My mistakes will always speak of me more than my ongoing feats.

I am how I look.

My appearance is all that speaks of me. I am not a person - I am the size of my bust, waist and hips.

[captivityinliberation]

Hope

Hope - our only saviour or the most lethal weapon to against us?

[captivityinliberation]

Graves of dreams, stars and girls

One day she was found dead,

Lifeless and cold with flowers in her hands,

Flowers that shone brighter than any stars,

So full of colour that you could see her dreams in them,

But with time, they began to wilt.

She plucked them to keep them with her,

But if there was no guarantee for her life,

What of these mere flowers?

And of those stars?

And of the dreams?

[captivityinliberation]

I turned you in a lifeless stuffed toy

Oh bless my poor heart that remembered,

Remembered what it felt like to almost have it all.

I remember having so many of you,

But never really having any of you.

Then one of you came along and gave me belonging,

But I didn't know how to do any of you.

I tested and tested him, that one you,

Until I had nothing of any of you (again).

Now I keep this nothing of you next to me when I lay in bed,

After all, our lifeless stuffed toys always helped us sleep.

[captivityinliberation]

Does anyone want to hug me to sleep tonight? The world is exhausting me.

[captivityinliberation]

(and I can understand because in me too the fire of destruction tomorrow flares blood hot and as for all the idea I had, they ate broken, malleable now, for compromise and rationalisation...)

From the Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath - August 20, 1952

[captivityinliberation]

[captivityinliberation]

"To look at her, you might not guess inside that she is laughing and crying, at her own stupidities and luckinesses, and at the strange enigmatic ways of the world which she will spend a lifetime trying to learn and understand"

From the Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath - July 6, 1952

[captivityinliberation]

Who would have thought that two people coming together in love would break apart two souls in love?

[captivityinliberation]

Cold.

Cut.

Red.

Flow.

Floor.

Boom.