i'm fucked up

Carlos Cross I will make you tremble "And it's creeping it's way through my windows And it's slithering under my door And it's in my peripheral vision And it's burrowing up under my floor And it's whispering into my eardrums And it's telling me that I want more"

[carloscrossed]

goodgrxff:

He knew when Carlos was in proximity. Gordon felt him. 

He’d been roaming the streets late at night as some face he remembered in the audience, but the moment he felt Carlos’s powers lazing around in the air, Gordon shed his illusion, his senses acute.

This was all too familiar, the sensations buzzing in his body increasing as he approached. Gordon released a breathy moan into the cold air, following the low pleasure humming in him. It lead him right to - “Carlos Cross,” Gordon teased, raising an eyebrow as he brushed Carlos’s chin with his finger. He stood tall and proud like a street light before Carlos, smirking at the way his back was against the wall, the dark lines under his eyes, everything. Delicious. “It’s been a while, has it not? What’s that on your face?”

Gordon traced his finger along the other’s face, wiping a smidgen of red off his face. “You just like being a pawn, a follower, don’t you? Some things don’t change.”

Oh God - oh Gordon - he missed this dearly. As much as he abhorred the other, wanted to coil a fist and make every damn nightmare appear out of thin air, do something horrid… Gordon enjoyed this far too much to stop.

This was exactly what he didn’t want. Gordon fucking Griffin. He was like some petulant child always hovering about, trying to one-up everyone else around him. Maybe if the man wasn't so arrogant they would get along, or at least not hate each other.

Carlos cringed as Gordon touched him. If he wasn't exhausted he would've been able to fight back, but instead the overuse of power had left him practically useless. "Fuck off." The words left his lips with a growl, his eyes dark with anger. The accusation left him fuming. "A pawn? Hah. At least I'm doing something and making pathetic people suffer. You're what? Stuck doing a silly little show and scaring people into giving you tips?"

He could feel his own power hanging in the air, making him feel vulnerable. The only things he could even try to use to hurt the man in front of him were his words, and even then Gordon was crazy enough that he was sure that words wouldn’t hurt him. “Don’t you have some slobbering fans to win over?” He pushed himself away from the wall, glaring at Gordon as he attempted to move away.

[carloscrossed]

tweet

@notgriffin: @carloscross you're OBSESSED with me. cause unlike you i have actual things to tweet about

@notgriffin: @carloscross get stop getting 2% milk at the store, whole milk is obviously better by the way. duh. OH SNAP

@carloscross: I am not tagging the person who is acting like a child because they quite obviously don't deserve my attention.

[carloscrossed]

tweet

@notgriffin: @carloscross I think you mean hairless. Just saying. #notgriffin

@notgriffin: @carloscross 👀 👀 👀 Back at it with the subtext I see... Say it to my face. #notgriffin

@carloscross: Thank you for proving my point. You're the only one looking foolish here. RT: I think you mean hairless. Just saying. #notgriffin

[carloscrossed]

tweet

@carloscross: Jealousy isn't a good look, especially when that jealousy comes out in such a classless way.

[carloscrossed]

ryderxwest:

Ryder had been prowling the streets for the last couple of days. His men had been out doing their jobs, Carlos only slightly included, and he’d been monitoring and recruiting. After the end of the lockdown, he resumed with fervor. If people were going to believe that his people did this, he might as well run off the hype and attempt to bring others over to his side. The AHS had made asses out of themselves by going on a mutant witch hunt. It was uncalled for and it pissed off more people than it helped. 

While he was out, he’d stumbled upon an alleyway just in time to see someone stumble out of a building nearby. The body style seemed familiar but it was nondescript. Ryder inched closer and it wasn’t until he was within a person space did the man speak. The voice was immediately recognizable.

“Carlos?”

Ryder took a step forward, attempting to look at the other man’s features. “Where have you been? You look like shit, man.” He grumbled at the end, looking over his friend for any kind of struggle. Hopefully he’d only been messing with another target of his instead of actually brawling with someone. That would be something that Ryder would have to step in on. “Are you okay?” He questioned again.

Carlos recognized that voice. It was hard not to know the voice of one of the only people he’d slept with more than once. “Ryder... fuck.” His voice was raspy and low, showing his exhaustion. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to him anymore, after all he’d been doing this for over a decade now and the rush of feeling someone’s will to live fade as they gave up made it all worth it. He slumped over, letting out a groan.

“I’m fine, just over-did it, y’know.” He sighed, wiping his bloodied face. “Mae had a target she needed gone and I helped her out. The fucker had a little bit more fight in him than I’m used to.” He winced as he felt a pulsing migraine travel. He hated that he was showing weakness. Still, he smirked, “He’s not fighting any more. Poor guy just shot himself, I guess he couldn’t take it all anymore. I just hope that his wife doesn’t see the carnage."

He tried to push himself away from the wall, shaking as he did. His nose was bleeding again, he could feel it running down his face.

[ledaclone-deactivated20170218]

Visit Original Link

A friend in need’s a friend indeed, My Japanese is better, And when she’s pressed she will undress, And then she’s boxing clever,

[carloscrossed]

livingmedigun:

It was way too late for Jeremy to walk outside by himself. And technically he wasn’t as a car was following him to make sure he was alright. Just far enough to make him feel independent but close enough that they could help him when needed. This is how Jeremy walked the streets of New York for a couple of hours. Nothing bothering him and nobody talking to him, but he didn’t care as he started to like the silence. 

Because now he could fill up the silence with his own thoughts. What would dogs say if they could talk? What do birds think? If robots had feelings will they be allowed to marry each other? If not, why? And if yes, how would such a marriage look like? Would my future self appreciate the choices I made today? Will time travel ever happen? Do my ducklings miss me? Because I sure miss them.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice someone sitting on the ground. And if it wasn’t for the fact that he recognized him he wouldn’t have stopped. Despite the less than welcome greeting Jeremy smiled. A small smile to show he cared. Because he always wanted to help if someone got hurt. ‘’Good evening, mister Cross. Is there anything I can do for you?’’ It was obvious that the other wasn’t alright and he tried to not ask but. ‘’Is everything alright with you?’’ He couldn’t help himself.

This was the last thing he needed. Some innocent little idiot running around, trying to help. Carlos was out of control at that moment, his powers not doing anything that he wanted. He should’ve been used to it, with the amount of people who had died under his influence. But the aftermath still left him feeling pathetic and weak.

He tried to focus, hoping to get into Jeremy’s head, give him a desire to walk in front of traffic or something, but it just caused him pain. He flinched, wiping the blood from his nose. After a few moments he looked up, glaring at Jeremy. “You’re out late, Jeremy. You could run into someone dangerous.” There was a hint of malice in his voice, as if he was warning the man, even if he could do jackshit to hurt him at that moment.

His hands were shaking as he tried to maintain some control. It was difficult to focus on anything with a migraine pulsating through his head and blood still dripping from his nose. “I don’t need your help.”

[carloscrossed]

emphaticallylily:

Lily had been on her way home from college. The cool air didn’t seem to bite as much as it had been, so she opted to walk than call her driver. Taking in the city. There was always something eerily calming about the city at night. Not as nearly as crowded, less emotions running rampant, everyone was always so quick to work or school, freaking out about an assignment, test, or project of sorts, it caused the brunette great stress to even attempt to walk then, but at night it seemed a stark comparison.

She had rounded the corner, her eyes landing on someone pressed against the wall, shaking. It was already easy to feel who it was, even if he was dressed differently, she knew him from just the way his emotions pushed against her. Only now there was pain, nothing too strong, but evident just the same. Drawing her closer, her feet pressed against the cool concrete, stepping close to him as she began to take in his appearance. There was blood spatter over his face. Her fingertips gently moved to pull her gloves off. Shoving them into her pockets.

Stepping fully into his line of view, she sighed at his words. “No,” she uttered, fingertips gently moving towards his chin, lifting his face. Grabbing some tissue from her purse, she pressed it to his nose. “Hold this,” she whispered. Shaking her hands a bit as she closed her eyes, clearing her mind the best she could, before gently pressing her hands to his cheeks. Focusing on the pain, a shaky breath leaving her lips, she couldn’t feel the pain, but the aftermath it left. The emotions lingering, digging deep into her, she pushed some back, Setting in an emotion that could counter act the ones that lingered with the pain. Hoping to ease it, rid him of it for just a moment. Before pulling away quickly moving to shakily sit on the ground as she covered her face. Feeling the dried blood on her fingertips. Wondering why she even cared, he was clearly bad, still as his emotions raged through her she couldn’t help but feel tears in her eyes.

“Why do you have to be a bad person,” she uttered in her breath. It was clear it didn’t stop her from caring for him, for anyone for that matter. It was her price and power. “I know there has to be something good in there! Fuck!” She stood kicking at a trashcan watching it tip over. There it was, the anger that he held. It didn’t take away from the fact tears were still streaming down her cheeks. She cared, cared too much. “If there is a part of you that still cares for anyone, that’s not just full of violence and hate, please for the love of God show that part to me so I don’t feel like me even wanting to help you is a waste, like I’m a failure,” she knew in her deepest of minds she couldn’t save everyone, but she would try till it killed her.

Asking for help was a sign of weakness. Carlos didn’t dare ask for help from anyone, no matter who they were to him. He hated people seeing him like this, exhausted and out of control. He was usually so confident, to the point of arrogance, and the fact Lily was seeing him this way was frustrating beyond belief. He flinched away as she reached out to touch him. It was a kind gesture that he wasn’t used to, especially from someone who he couldn’t control and who knew his intentions.

He didn’t argue, he just let her do her thing. The migraine coming from his over exertion eased slightly, even though he was resisting her power every step of the way. He just didn’t understand why she was doing what she was doing. People never acted in a truly selfless way, there was always some kind of different motive, something that was in it for them. That’s what he had learned over time.

He held the tissue to his nose, tilting his head back as he waited for the blood to stop flowing for a moment at least. He just hoped that she would take his silence as a sign to leave. It wasn’t until she started speaking that he looked down at her. He felt a wave of frustration and it was obvious that it was all coming from her. It was so powerful and, despite his awareness of her effect, he couldn’t himself from letting out a cold laugh at her outburst. “You want to help me. Princess, I am beyond help. You can’t fucking save me because I like this.” His voice was low and breathy, but full of an aggression that surprised himself. “If you think that you can help every single bad guy you meet then you are delusional. But let’s take a moment here and recognise that you don’t really want to help anyone. You are full of fucking guilt because mommy and daddy are spewing anti-mutant shit and you want to balance that out. Maybe you should how them how you really fucking feel.”

[subtterfuge]

[carloscrossed]

The city was dark. It was past midnight and the only people left on the streets were drunks and criminals. Carlos wanted to pretend he wasn’t part of either group, but the latter was definitely where he belonged. He was dressed uncharacteristically, usually so suave and clean. Instead he wore dark jeans and an old black hoodie, the hood pulled down low as he walked, hiding the blood on his face.

It was obvious that he was exhausted, the usual confidence in his walk was not there. He was shaky, silent and definitely avoiding any eye contact. After hours spent with a target, he finally wore them down and they had pointed a gun at their own head. The person didn’t matter to him. Their life meant nothing to him, except a paycheck. But so much time spent in someone’s head still took a toll on him. He tended to lose control of his powers for some time afterwards, at least until he had a proper rest. There was a strange kind of pain that crept into his head like a migraine.

He rested against a wall for just a few moments, catching his breath. He could feel a nosebleed coming on and he knew that he needed to get home. He pulled his eyes from the ground for a moment to see someone who had stopped in front of him. “Keep fucking walking.”

[carloscrossed]

theinfamoustwin:

She knew she was in dangerous territory in this moment. Gordon would nearly kill her for even daring to speak to Carlos, but she couldn’t help it. She had heard so much about him and now she wanted to find out for herself. Was he really as bad as Gordon has made him out to be? Even the worst of people have some pretty good memories stored away those heads of theirs. No one knew this like Pearl, so she just had to find out. 

She slyly smirked at Carlos as he spoke trying to search his eyes for her answer and that’s when she new she was in even more trouble. She had been lying to herself from the moment she saw him because she didn’t want to admit how striking he was to her. Those deep brown eyes and chiseled jaw. Yeah, she really was in trouble now. 

“How about another drink and some honesty?”

He was wracking his brain trying to figure out why he had noticed her at Atlas before. People came in and out so often and it was rare that a face stuck in his head, but for some reason hers had. It was after a few moments that he actually realized, she was one of Gordon’s little gang of infamous misfits. As a general rule Carlos avoided Gordon, mostly because he couldn’t stand the man and his bullshit.

Even then, the fact that one of his little protegees was even talking to him was interesting. He sipped at his whiskey, eyeing the woman carefully for a moment, before smirking back. “Alcohol and honesty, huh?” He gulped down the rest of his drink, resting his empty glass on the table. “The truth is that if you’re here then you aren’t nearly as sweet as you look, and if you’re talking to me then you’re curious whether what The Great Asshole has said about me is at all true, right?” He glanced at her, dark eyes seeming to hint at just how mischievous he feeling. He reached out, to brush against her fingers, aiming to heighten her desire for him just enough that it would leave her wanting more from him, “I’m sure however bad he says I am, well, I’m so much worse. But how about we test that at my place over a decent glass of whiskey?”

[carloscrossed]

Thoughts on Pearl

I don’t know too much about Pearl, yet. She seems like she might be a valuable ally, even if Gordon is all over her like a goddamn rash. @theinfamoustwin

[carloscrossed]

Thoughts on Jeremy?

Too naive for his own good. Though, it’s kind of hilarious hearing him call me ‘sir’. @livingmedigun

[carloscrossed]

Thoughts on Lily.

She’s interesting to say the least. I won’t like, she intrigues me and I’d like to get to know her, what she likes, what her hobbies are, what noises she makes during sex. @emphaticallylily

[carloscrossed]

emphaticallylily:

Lily all but felt a fluttering sensation in her stomach as she watched his hand scoot a pair of plain white underwear across the table. She was quick to snatch it, all efforts to thank him gone, now that her face was as red as a tomato. Lily never went shopping for those things, she never once looked into dating, or dressing up for a person of the opposite sex for many reasons. The emotions that came with relationships and sex weren’t something she was ready to tackle especially with her new found powers, but even more so, the teenager always felt like a Plain Jane, there were no boys in class that every approached her, she never went to a dance, or a game, or even prom. Her time was devoted to studying, and she much rather spend time at the hospital than on a date. Even now, though she had a couple friends in college and they would go out, she was mostly used as the designated driver.

Giving a shaky breath, Lily slid the panties into her purse, setting her bag on the table for a moment to see if she could fix it, but it was completely torn. Carlos had been right, she needed to invest in a new bag. Giving a soft sigh, the flustered girl finally looked up to him, a soft smile on her lips. “I’m sure the only pervert here is you,” she teased back, chewing her lip as she heard her name being called, she stopped though, staring at him as he spoke about getting into her head. The more time they ran into each other the more she wondered if he was like her, in some form, but the way he talked, and confusion filling his face. She could feel it, the confusion in him, and it had her settling in the seat on the other side, setting her bag on the floor as she stared at him. Licking her lips, she looked down. As of right now no one knew of her powers but those who she let know, and that was Orion, the only person she really trusted, and she didn’t trust Carlos.

Giving a small nod, she set her things down on the floor, moving to grab her drink, she came back, sitting in front of him again. Her brown eyes meeting his for a moment, as she straightened in her seat, crossing her legs, she took a tiny sip from her cup, setting it aside. “Why, do you want to get in my head?” She questioned. “There isn’t anything in there you’d want Carlos, and I’m certain whatever game that you play with others to get them to give you want you want, I don’t have that. I’m just a normal college student, who volunteers at the hospital, I’m boring, plain, you’re wasting your time,” she gave a weak smile, before standing again. Grabbing her bag. “It was nice seeing you again, though, if we meet again, stop trying whatever you’re doing, you can’t always get what you want, and I’m certain you don’t really want whatever it is you want from me. Besides you look five when you pout,” she smirked. Moving to a near by table, she tugged her books from her back. Her eyes darting up to meet him for a moment, she gave him a small smile, before cracking open a book. She was right when she said she was boring, having already picked up her books for next semester, she had been spending her break reading them. That’s as boring as anyone could get.

It was difficult to hide his smirk as her face turned a delightful shade of red. Who knew that someone would get so embarrassed by someone handling a pair of boring ass panties? He couldn’t get in her head but he could sense her innocence and it was nearly adorable how inexperienced she was. Why was it that he was always drawn to the people who hadn’t been corrupted yet? He sipped his coffee, his gaze still on Lily as she spoke. “Pervert, huh? Is that all you think I am?” He frowned, one hand coming up to his chest, just to be a little dramatic, “I’m so hurt that you would assume that.”

He watched her shift, wondering if maybe she didn’t know about her own power. He had met someone in his youth that seemed to have a natural shield against mental manipulations, but didn’t seem to be aware of it. Lily could easily be the same. But the way she spoke, not seeming to be the slightest bit worried by his words made him sure that she was just avoiding the topic. “If I was wasting my time, you would’ve left. You wouldn’t be here talking to me so that tells me that you’re just as curious about me.” His voice was soft, knowing that speaking about potential powers in public was dangerous. Her sudden sass shocked him and he let out a genuine laugh. He wasn’t used to people he was pursuing scolding him like he was a child, usually they just kept their mouths shut while Carlos kept them desperate for his touch.

“Whoa, we’re not done talking.” He grabbed his coffee, moving to the other table so he was sitting close to her. It only took him a moment to swipe the book from her, flicking through the pages as if he was actually interested in it. “Huh, this is pretty heavy stuff. Maybe you’re trying to get in my head just as much.” His eyes took in the mysterious girl, his curiosity keeping him from finding someone easy to control. “You don’t have to tell me what your power is. I’m sure I can guess it.”

[carloscrossed]

[carloscrossed]

emphaticallylily:

Lily had been a bit drained since the lock in situation, and getting back on track was harder than expected. Mostly with school, and a proper sleeping schedule, but her time at the hospital also proved to making it harder for her, as well, and with only two more days till school started, Lily was more than certain coffee was going to be a new found friend again. So stopping into the coffee shop near her college, the one that was her favorite, she was welcomed with familiar friendly smiles, and a sight she hadn’t seen since the lock in. She had only seen him in passing, not having the courage to stop and talk, he was really confusing for the eighteen year old. Passing his table, she did her best to not make eye contact with Carlos.

Walking up to the counter to order her drink, she smiled softly, paying for it, she walked away to sit till her order was called. But she didn’t expect her bag’s strap to spill, and the few books she planned on reading for school toppling out next to his table. A soft innocent curse escaping her breath, she knelt down, grabbing her books, her cheeks flushed slightly as a few more personal items fell as well. Mostly silly stuff, make-up, feminine products, and the spare clothes (which had included undergarments) she kept just in case of emergencies at the hospital, like being stuck and having to find a bed or a couch for the night.

It had happened on occasion and she always found herself wanting to shower and change and not walk out in the same clothes she been in the night before. Chewing her lip she peered up to him finally. “Sorry,’ she muttered. “I guess I live out of my purse,” she joked, moving to stand slowly. “Do you mind?” she pointed to the table, wondering if she could set her bag down to see if she could fix the strap somewhat. 

@carloscrossed

The lock in had not been a good time for Carlos. Even though he enjoyed being around people, if it meant he could play with them, he hated having to share his space. Being locked in an apartment building would’ve been fine, but sharing that building with hundreds of whimpering mutants was far from okay. He had managed to not completely lash out, not cause a scene which would’ve drawn ASH to them, but it had been difficult. The only reason he had agreed to be there in the first place was because he didn’t think he could take on an entire team of ASH operatives, no matter how hard he tried.

Slowly he had been getting back on track, enough to leave his apartment anyway. He needed to get out of his own head, it was pathetic and weak but somehow the week of being locked away had left him feeling empty in a way that he couldn’t explain. So he found himself sitting at a table in a coffee shop that he had been to a handful of times. All he was looking for was somebody that would be a meaningless fuck, that would fill that emptiness and make him feel like himself again. His dark eyes surveyed the people in the cafe, trying to find someone who wouldn’t be too difficult to manipulate. However, there was someone more interesting that he recognised. She wasn’t looking at him and he couldn’t help but think that wasn’t an accident.

Lily was somewhat of a mystery to Carlos. He had encountered people who he couldn’t use his power on before but those encounters were rare, usually coming from people who didn’t know they were powered, or the people who had exceptionally strong mental abilities. No matter what camp she was in, he felt a draw, maybe because he always wanted what he couldn’t have. He sipped at his coffee, trying to keep his gaze from being too intense. He hadn’t expected to see the woman’s handbag basically fall apart, the contents spilling out in front of him. He fought back a chuckle as he reached for a few things, figuring that helping her would only aid his own wants. “You might want to get a better bag, I’m sure you wouldn’t want some pervert getting a hold of these.” He slid a pair of fairly plain underwear across the table. He tried to focus on putting some kind of want into her head, but it felt like he was pushing against a brick wall. He leaned forward, confusion knitting his brows, “You’re just a surprise aren’t you? I can get into the heads of everyone here, except you.”