a heart alive.

[carmendesantos]

CARTER BAKER.

❛ I’M ABOUT TO BECOME A FATHER SO I FEEL LIKE MY ANSWER SHOULD BE - HELL NO. ❜  A replied followed by a mental note to kick himself in the guts for ever say something as fucking pathetic as that out loud & in front of a witness. ❛ Now, if you excuse one must go kill themselves after the realization I have become my worst nightmare. ❜

          “I never imagined seeing someone change in front of my eyes.”  Carmen laughed quietly, shaking her head slightly along with it.  “You still have time to decide what kind of a parent you want to be.”  She knew Carter from back home. Fellow New Yorkers were a rarity, especially ones Carmen could actually stand.  “Now, will you come look at motives with me?”

[carmendesantos]

in reply to: @dejaegerbomb​

       Maeve had never wanted to just stop talking to Carmen. Of course she still wanted to be friends, like they had been for so long — but it had been so hard; seeing her with Sebastian. Seeing her in general, feeling her heart speed up and knowing she could never have what she wanted. In her mind it had been for the best to just keep her distance, even though it possibly hurt Carmen’s feelings. It didn’t seem like the dark haired girl held it against her, seeing a smile on her lips. It had been a while ago after all. “Yeah…” she smiled back as she threw the coffee-drained paper in the trash behind the counter, grabbed another piece and wiped the last wet spot off the floor so no one would slip on it. “Uhm, sure. That’d be nice. I need to buy a new one anyway… Clearly.”

          "Let me get us a couple of lattés.”  Carmen smiled and got up from the floor, throwing the piece of tissue in the trash as she walked over to the counter to order. It was nice to see a familiar face even though the last time they had an actual conversation was.. awkward if anything. Still, Carmen liked Maeve and it had been a while since they last talked. After ordering, she went back to where she’d left Maeve,  “They’ll be done in a second. How have you been?”

[camimendesupdates]

camimendes via Instagram Stories (19/11/19)

[carmendesantos]

MAEVE DE JAEGER.

    Looking up, it was a miracle Maeve could finish her sentence before she completely processed who was standing before her, or above her at that point, but soon squatted down to help her clean up her mess. She didn’t know if this was her misfortune continuing or stopping for the day, it was a mix of feelings in her head and her stomach in that moment. It was no secret, at least to Maeve and her friends, that Carmen was that first person the redhead had a hard time getting over. It might have been because her stupid crush had ruined the friendship they had had, or so she thought. At least they didn’t hang out much after the rejection but honestly - that was just one hundred percent Maeve’s own fault being distancing herself. “I’m— I’ve been doing well,” she said softly and shot the raven-haired girl a smile. “Just having a weird freakin’ day. As you can see. — Thank you.”

          There weren’t many people from high school Carmen kept in touch with. Ellie and Bash were really the only two she still spoke to on a daily basis. Maeve and her had slowly disconnected after what Carmen liked to call the incident. She couldn’t hold it against the red-head, knowing that she’d probably done the same if the roles had been reversed.  “That’s good.”  Carmen answered, a small smile on her lips as she was still wiping the floor,  “I can relate to that. Do you want another coffee and catch up a little?”

[carmendesantos]

ALEC HARPER.

While Alec knew her brother well, Carmen herself was somewhat of a stranger; age difference and career disparities had ensured that their only connection was Noah. “Nope, no… I wouldn’t even try to.” Even if he wanted, Alec couldn’t deny the devastating accuracy for such a drawing. “That, or one of the older kids at Hoag decided to teach her something.” She was a sweet girl, enamoured by other people and a little too easily intrigued. A bit of paper and some coloring pens were all she needed to keep herself entertained and a little suggestion from anyone, would keep her quiet all day. “Oh, rest assured these won’t ever see the light of day around your brother. Ever.”

          There was a time when Carmen was very involved with her brother's life, however now, his friends were mostly names without faces for her. She’d met Alec on occasion before, but hardly knew anything about the guy. He was divorcing his wife, father to a daughter and Noah’s best friend with a pretty good sense of humor; that’s at least what she thought judging from a couple of first impressions.  “These are the things no parenting-classes can prepare you for, huh?”  Carmen had no idea what happened in those classes, she just figured that artistic detours weren’t a too popular subject.  “Are you keeping them or burning them?“

[carmendesantos]

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

HONESTY HOUR.

“There’s a list, but the only person I can think of within reach would be Finley Westbrook.”

ft. @finleywcstbrook

[carmendesantos]

[carmendesantos]

DANIELA FLORES.

“Obviously you shouldn’t if you’re going to be this apprehensive about it. But I mean, you can always chicken out at the last minute as soon as the needle hits your skin, too.” Daniela shrugged as if the answer was as clear as day. Tattoos weren’t really the brunette’s thing, not that she had an issue with other’s donning the inked creations, she just preferred to keep her own skin bare. “Where’d you plan on getting it anyway? Please don’t say your lower back…”

          Carmen was still looking at the parlor’s windows, peeking inside to see what they were doing. “Oh god no.”  She responded, almost looking at the brunette in horror,  “My skin is practically untouched, I wouldn’t dare to put a tramp stamp anywhere on it.”  She shook her head,  “I hope that you’re not going to tell me that you have one now. I’m sorry if I offended you.”

[carmendesantos]

EVANGELINE MORRIS.

Evie was tired of it. It was either time to resort to dating apps like Bumble or Tinder or face a reality that clearly relationships weren’t for her. The story of someone stealing, however, rid her of her woe-is-me spiel. “Really? That’s crazy. I know of a few good yarns myself. My neighbor is cheating on her husband with their single best friend.”

        “Oh, that’s harsh.”  Carmen wasn’t really one in the position to judge anyone who cheated. Not when she’d done the same thing; once but it still happened,  “Why stay married when you’re obviously looking elsewhere?”  That was the thing though, she would have never committed to Finley in that way.  “I wish I could say my dating life was a little more interesting but honestly, it’s been kind of boring.”  At least it had been. Now she felt like a teenager all over again. But why would she rub it in the other girls face? That would be tactless.  “Tell me more about that neighbor though. How are they pulling it off?”

[carmendesantos]

ADRIANA CASTILLO.

Looking back at Carmen, Adriana gave her a warm smile. Her friendship group wasn’t wide by any means, she preferred to keep to herself most of the time, but the friends she had, she planned on taking through life with her and Carmen was one of those. She didn’t know what would happen between the woman and her brother but Carmen was always going to be special to her. “Well I’m working on, it taking it easy, going to the spa, just having some me time.” She might even try dating but she wouldn’t tell the other that because then she would want to help. “Don’t go encouraging him now, you know what he’s like and I already said no.” It was an idea, but she just couldn’t bring herself to agree to it no matter how happy it would make Bash, she had to have some limits and that was one of them. Turning back to Carmen, she let her locks fall over her shoulder as she titled her head in her direction. “What about you though, how have you been, everything good with you?” 

         Honestly, there were only so many people Carmen could actually stand and none of them were like her New York friends. They weren’t superficial or shallow; just the complete opposite and definitely not what they would deem appropriate but Carmen never really cared about their opinions. If it were up to them, she’d simply enjoy the life of a socialite, get married to one of their wealthy friends at some point (sooner than later) and life a happy life in a loveless marriage. Carmen de Santos wasn’t about that. She craved a different kind of life. One that very much involved Adriana’s brother. It was embarrassing how in love Carmen was with Bash all over again.  “Hey if you ever need someone to take you to a very expensive spa.. I happen to have a couple of coupons lying around.”  The dark-haired grinned and shrugged. The coupons were actually invitations to come and post about their businesses, something Carmen never really had the time for, but if Addie would be interested, she’d definitely take her.  “Don’t worry. We’re definitely not talking about Star Wars whenever I see him.”  A genuine smile appeared on her lips just at the thought of seeing Bash later that evening,  “I’m.. perfectly happy. It’s been a while since I felt so at home.”

[carmendesantos]

BEN BRODY.

While Ben didn’t have many tattoos, he had some.  He’d been in exactly the position the woman was in.  “If you’re still torn, you can always wait until that changes.  The tattoo shop will still be here.  This is the kind of thing you should be sure of, probably.  Or really drunk and wake up with.”  

          He was right, but this was the first time Carmen found herself daring enough to come all the way out here.  “I don’t want something huge and life-changing. It’d be small and complimenting.”  She wasn’t the type to go overboard with any sort of body alterations; although her former agent had a couple of things he would have liked to enhance,  “I’ve been thinking about it for a while and this is the first time I actually drove out here. So maybe that’s a sign.”

[carmendesantos]

CELINE TEAGUE.

Celine stopped in her tracks, pulling her wallet from her purse she pulled out a business card sliding it towards the petite brunette. “Please, do yourself a favor and got to Monkey and Buddah next time. This place has nothing on where I work.- “ Celine lifted her eyes over the womans small frame, “What are you looking to get?”

          While Carmen hadn’t expected some dramatic ideas from the blonde, she also hadn’t expected to be handed a business card,  “Well, nothing’s set in stone yet.”  She laughed lightly, glancing over the card in her hand,  “Something small, meaningful. Sort of like a symbol for a newly reached era of life. It sounds pathetic, I know, but I feel like the coming year is a new start for me.”

[carmendesantos]

open starter ; @newportstarters​

location ; outside pinpoint (tattoo parlor)

          Carmen’s body was almost a blank canvas. Almost since there was currently only one tattoo on her skin, on her ribcage that says ‘to build a home’. It was a very thought-through decision to get her first tattoo, something that held so much meaning to her. Now she was standing outside PINPOINT again, debating whether to go in or not,  “I’m not sure I want to do it. I know it would be absolutely beautiful, but I’m still so torn about it. What do you think?”

[carmendesantos]

ALEC HARPER.

LOCATION: Drybar, San Joaquin Hills

“I got called to an emergency at six this morning, right?” Alec mumbled as he took a sip from his glass, the second large red he had that evening and pulled out some drawings his daughter had colored in earlier that day. “So I drop my daughter off at daycare, run up to theatre to scrub up and spend eight hours in theatre…” He flicked through the two pictures and sighed, head shaking in confused amusement. “Get back, go to pick her up and one of the assistants hands me these—” Alec slapped them onto the bar face up, one at a time. “She’s three.”

          Carmen’s initial reaction was shock, then followed by a wave of laughter,  “Well,” she started, “you can’t deny the artistic talent.”  A shrug followed her words, “You’re a doctor, maybe she stumbled upon an anatomy image and decided to combine.. Kids are brighter than they let on.”  Her brother's best friend was clearly upset about the ordeal but Carmen couldn’t help but admire his daughters' bluntness (to some extent). “Don’t show these to Noah, he’ll never stop teasing you about it.”

[carmendesantos]

FINLEY WESTBROOK.

He wasn’t sure what he should have been expecting from the girl in front of him, but honestly he was pleasantly surprised at what he had gotten. No slaps, nothing thrown at him…it was a win win in his eyes, he had to protect his face at all costs after all. Knowing when to call it quits had never been his specialty though, and instead of leaving it be and respecting her request given the fact he’d dropped her and their TV show like neither of them had ever meant anything to them - he decided to follow her instead. Reaching for the box of tampons she had been reaching for, which were in his eyes cruelly high given their target audience, he took off after her in a few long strides. “First of all, you forgot these.” He smirked as he tossed them into her basket, moving so he was shoulder to…well head with her, pushing his cart along with him. “And second of all, what do you mean what am I doing here? I’m shopping duh? Did you take this grocery store in the divorce? Did I miss that bit?” It really wasn’t wise of him to continue to wind her up and he knew that, but after all the very reason for him moving here had just fallen in his lap. “Come on Car…it’s been ages, you’re telling me you’re not over me yet?” 

          To be dropped like a hot potato. that’s what it felt like when Finley disappeared. No goodbye, just nothing. Of course, Carmen wasn’t entirely stupid and had seen the signs. Now one could argue that their whole relationship had been a farce; which it had been practically from the beginning and that Carmen should have seen that Finley only cared about the fame. In hindsight, she agreed with it all. He’d used her until he got what he wanted and then disappeared without a trace, but at the time, he gave her everything she needed. Bash wasn’t home, their relationship was broken up by the distance and Bash’s growing need to shut her out and her stalker was making her life hell on earth. It was only natural for her to seek the comfort of someone, anyone who’d make her feel loved. Finley Westbrook was a darn good actor on screen as well as off. Of course he followed her down the aisle and of course he would use the moment to make her regret ever meeting the guy.“A divorce would require an actual relationship happened between us and frankly, I’ve decided to forget the time I wasted on you.” Carmen continued walking away. Where? She didn’t know. All she wanted was to put a couple hundred miles between him and herself,  “You’re not that memorable, hun. And I’d prefer for it to remain that way.”

[carmendesantos]

SAMUEL MOORE.

A chuckle came from Sam as the dark-haired woman explained the feeling that the male knew well. “That’s okay. At least it was closed.” He stated, not going after the bottle himself since she was already in pursuit. Instead, the male stayed standing and waiting for her to retrieve the bottle. “Leg days are the worst part of the week.” Sam joked, cocking his head slightly to the side as he examined the girl. “So, do I know you from somewhere? You just look so familiar…” He trailed off, trying to think where he would know the attractive female from.

          “Leg days are the worst. Period.”  Carmen laughed lightly as she bent down to pick up his water bottle, wincing from the soreness already,  “I’m the prime example of someone who’s neglected the gym for too long.”  A smile was now sitting on her lips as she walked back over,  “There you go. — You might? I portrayed Giulia Sanchez on Calabasas 90290 but it’s been a while.”  She didn’t know why but talking about these things still made her feel awkward. Nothing was worse than someone who was like ‘Oh yeah you have to know me I’m famous’ and Carmen met many of those (Finley Westbrook, she’s looking at you). 

[carmendesantos]

NOAH DE SANTOS.

“Fine go.” He said, motioning her away with his hand. He wanted to take her to let off some steam, but she couldn’t even be appreciative of his wanting to protect her ears, even if it was half a gag gift. Whatever, her loss “Have fun with all of that.” He knew why she had to do all of that, but god– was that the most annoying thing. Having to constantly be doing things to make sure she was online for whatever reason. He could never do it. He just didn’t care enough. 

           God, why did he have to be so infuriating all of the damn time? It was like he just did it to piss her off.  “Oh my god, you’re the absolute worst.”  Carmen groaned, taking the pink ear muff off the table,  “This is the last thing I’ll do for you this year. Consider this your Christmas present.”