carnackiArdent, Carnacki, or cA | he/him | Fairly unabashedly leftist, almost entirely incapable of stopping from arguing. Please smack me if I'm being a dumb. | Blog is SFW. Will feature primarily animals, fandom (usually fantasy and scifi), tabletop rpgs, space, and music. Not really actually a Homestuck anymore, I just still use the username.
[Image ID: A photo of Mothra Leo in his Rainbow Mothra form from Rebirth of Mothra 2, hovering over a gray stone building. Leo is a giant moth with a fuzzy black-and-white body, big green eyes, and wide rainbow-colored wings.]
In Copenhagen you can visit The Round Tower. It used to be an astronomical observatory until light pollution and the vibrations from increased traffic in the streets made it useless for its original purpose.
Today itâs mostly famous for what it looks like on the inside.
It has an equestrian staircase though itâs so smooth itâs really just a gentle slope more than a staircase. It was build like that so our lazy bum king could ride his horse all the way to the top (king not in photo)
And naturally people have also driven cars up the tower
And held a bike race
For a while it was just sort of abandoned by the authorities and became a sloping marketplace
But today it has been restored and become a tourist spot as well as a popular destination for school trips. And yes, you can still watch the cosmos at the top.
ghgdkdjhgdjkhc Rochallor with the popcorn Iâm dying. Fingolfin banging on the door, probably naming him craven and lord of slaves. However tbf Sauron is less craven than Mogoth because he willingly fought Gil-galad and Elendil. Although he usually only enters a fight himself once all his servants have been defeated.
No but every single one of these possibilities is amazing and I'm at my grandma's house trying to digest a ten appetisers, two first courses, six second courses and three desserts Easter Lunch, so I have nothing but time to use my fervid imagination
Let's go!
Fëanor: he is a mess inside and out. Outside he's a medium rare hamburger with various wounds bleeding profusely (the dude was good but angry and surrounded, no way he was paying attention to any cuts he received while fueled with murderous anger). Inside he's a horrible, jumbled mess of all-consuming rage, excruciating agony, and deep-rooted but ultimately pointless paranoia. This hurricane of emotions becomes worse in 0.3 seconds because he is: 1. Recognised; 2. Immediately brough to Elrond; 3. Told in excruciating details what happened to his family (and only that). His mental states just keeps getting hit with the emotional equivalent of a battering ram. Picture, if you will: an elf who somehow survived up to the Third Age, managed to find his way to Elrond, and is living a somewhat happy and peaceful life in Rivendell with only orcs to worry about (orcs. No Balrog, dragons, Morgoth. Just orcs.), only to be confronted with Curifinwë fucking Fëanaro at the gates, not knowing what is going on but demanding his Silmarills, explanations, and his sons. In that order. Elrond is called immediately. (The elf who actually had to deal with this was Glorfindel. Poor guy can't catch a break. He considered dealing with it himself without bothering Elrond, but then Fëanor started spouting shit about Turgon's side of the family while demanding his shiny rocks and he knows he won't be able to resist the urge to murder him. He knows Elrond would be disappointed with that. Glorfindel can see when he's beaten, and call backup.)
Elrond does not appreciate his somewhat grandfather (kidnap fam gives so much possibilities I couldn't ignore, sorry not sorry)'s list of priorities. Measures are immediately taken (as in, he tells his somewhat grandfather exactly what happened to his sons because of the Silmarills he loved so much). FĂ«anor is devastated. However, he doesn't have much time to dwell on his devastation, because there is only so long someone can ignore so many wounds, even incredible elves from legends; he faints.
This gives time for the story to progress until the Council of Elrond. Fëanor has woken up some time before, has been listening in, and as the Fëanor we all know and love, has fixated on the next thing he can obsess on that is in his immediate range, namely: his son Makalaurë. All his other sons are lost to Mandos (don't think of silver hair and closed eyes, a spirit never returned despite the promises of the Valar, don't think of the Eternal Darkness they all swore to, just don't think of it). He wants to go look for him. Oh look, this Fellowship thing is going on a long trek through a good portion of the world, where did you say your Maglor was last seen dear nephew Elrond? Wait. What is that.
FĂ«anor takes one look at the One Ring and is absolutely offended, disgusted, and enraged. In that order. What is that thing?! Why is it such a low quality?! Gandalf is quite miffed. Boromir is incredibly offended. Elrond finds himself in the rather hard position to explain to his grandfather the history of the Rings (FĂ«anor had ignored everything in favour of his hyperfixation); including the part about Celebrimbor.
FĂ«anor is now extremely motivated to join the Fellowship. He will not be talked out of it. Multiple people have tried. Luckily enough, Elrond holds enough sway as the new baby nephew to impose a "No oaths!" rule, to the relief of literally everyone who knows anything about history. Gandalf is incredibly grouchy. Aragorn is trying his best to do his job and ignore his somewhat related many times removed "grandfather". Legolas is justifiably intimidated. Gimli is ecstatic. Boromir does not understand all the ramifications, and frankly that's better than anyone else. The hobbits also don't really understand all the ramifications (Frodo more or less does), but either way they will deal with this as proper hobbits, not making the Big Person unnecessarily uncomfortable, because that is just not done. Things go more or less like in canon up to Moria. FĂ«anor takes a look at the Balrog and just. Unleashes all his pent-up rage and death-related trauma he's refusing to acknowledge. They all make it out alive, and now very intimidated.
Galadriel does not want him in her realm. Celeborn does not want him in her realm. He gets in anyway. When she gives Gimli the three strands of hair she looks straight at him, because she needs at least this little bit of revenge. Boromir doesn't die because FĂ«anor is right there, he somehow got himself attached to the tiny halflings, and he always has pent-up rage to release. The orcs manage to get away with Merry and Pippin but are horribly decimated. Like, there are barely ten of them left. Only reason they need to run to catch them is that Boromir is wounded, and the fuckers are few and fast.
Things like canon again. FĂ«anor does not appreciate being insulted so Ăomer has to apologise even quicker. Saruman gets a heart attack when Grima describes the strange elf accompanying what they thought would be their biggest problem (Gandalf). Sauron has a heart attack when Saruman tells him. Plans are sped up as much as possible.
Now, FĂ«anor might not be subtle, or a political mind, but he's not an idiot. He knows Sauron is going to fear him the most. And he knows Frodo needs to get to Mount Doom. And he's also hoping, if he does enough good, he can leverage it to get his sons back. So, he makes himself a big, nice, shiny target, and start systematically destroying every orc armies or assorted bad things he can find. Sauron is crying. They get to Gondor sooner than canon and with Boromir, Denethor is promptly locked in a room (FĂ«anor absolutely didn't do it on purpose believe him), everything that can be strengthened by the greatest smith ever existed is strengthened, and when they try to break down the doors with Grond the wolf fucking. Bounces back. FĂ«anor is on the walls staring down any Nazgul getting too close. The orcs generals were already crying before the Rohirrim arrived. Sauron is really not having a good time.
He starts having a worse time when the final battle rolls around and Curifinwë fucking Fëanaro is at his fucking door. He wants him gone along with the pesky heir of Isildur and Gandalf the White who he thought would be his worst threats. This is so not fair. Unfortunately, or fortunately, for him, he doesn't have much time to ponder the unfairness of it all, because with all the destroying of orcs Fëanor did in precedence, Frodo and Sam had a much easier time, and the Ring gets neatly dropped into flames. Mordor is destroyed. Fëanor goes back to Rivendell only to find Makalaurë! (Maglor heard his father was back and with Elrond, panicked, ran there, and was promptly kidnapp- I mean hosted by his adopted son.) Now, he just needs to get his other sons back. Oh, look, a ship headed for Valinor! Dear baby nephew Elrond, make space.
Fingolfin: he's sure he should be a pancake. He's not a pancake. The panic can wait after he figured out where he is, why, who are all these people, and where is Morgoth. Elrond manages to calm him down slightly because he makes the exact same face Turgon does when exasperated and hiding his panic. Oh, he has a great-great-grandson! Lovely!
Cue the history lesson. Morgoth is gone. Great! Sauron is still here. Sucks, but not to bad. Beleriand was destroyed to capture Morgoth. This also sucks, but they seem to have found places to live, so while he'll miss Hithlum, he's practical, he can deal. What happened to his children? And all his assorted nephews?
Yeah, Fingolfin is joining the Fellowship. Sauron is getting destroyed. Seeing as he doesn't carry the same, ahem, problematic ramifications as his brother ("half-brother!"), the Fellowship is ecstatic. The Balrog in Moria a bit less. Not to worry, Galadriel more than makes up for that lackluster welcome. After she excuses herself to go cry in private.
Boromir also survives in this, because the orcs see Fingolfin and just. Fucking flee. They grew up hearing hushed whispers of the elf who challenged Morgoth to combat. They are not touching that. The Fellowship arrives in Rohan without a problem, and Fingolfin appreciates all these horses while missing Rochallor horribly. The horses are so nice and smart, they can just tie Grime on one, send him to Saruman, and just wait for the horse to be back. Such good and smart horses.
Denethor takes one look at Fingolfin and screams (technically it's Sauron in his head, screaming so damn hard it got translated in the physical world). This is very suspicious. Then he faints. This is even more suspicious. He gets locked up in the Halls of Healing while competent people do their jobs, and nobody tries to retake Osgiliath, or burn Faramir alive. The orcs keep having such interesting reactions to seeing Fingolfin standing against them. So do the Nazgul. Sauron is even more hilarious.
He doesn't even sends his Mouth out, just keeps his gate tightly shut and hopes to Morgoth the horrible elf he had nightmares of for weeks goes away. Fingolfin does not go away. He's knocking on the gate and insisting on a fight one on one. Sauron is crying.
He's still crying when he feels his Ring getting destroyed. He's never going to tell anyone but he's so relieved he won't have to face that monster.
Fingolfin goes back to Rivendell and joins Elrond's effort to track down Makalaurë before leaving for Valinor. They may have committed atrocities but they are his nephews! Also, he remembers them as cute little elflings, and he's willing to place the blame squarely on Fëanaro and get his cute nephews back. The Valar are powerless to stop him.
Luthien: (this gives Sauron the worst possible time) Luthien remembers dying of old age next to her beloved. She is now young, powerful, and not with her beloved. Something is wrong. (Seeing as last time something was wrong she battled Sauron and Morgoth in quick succession, this should be very worrying for everyone)
She has a moment of absolute bewilderment when seeing Elrond, who does look like her. This is not her son. Gasp! A grand-baby? Elrond suffers this newfound doting grandma with the patience and resignation of someone used to parents latching onto you to fret (Maglor fretted a lot. That will be fun to explain). Explaining is not fun, but luckily Luthien is understanding. And generally so cool, Elrond is a bit awed. Arwen is starstruck. Aragorn is intimidated as fuck because this is the original elf who fell in love with a man. What if she tells Arwen about things. He could never live up to Beren's standard. Fortunately for him, Luthien thinks these babies are adorable and supports their love one hundred percent.
The Council of Elrond happens. Luthien finds out a bit more about the current situation. Sauron, that little bitch, is doing what? Not on my watch! Legolas, Gandalf, even Gimli are awed. So are Boromir and Aragorn. The hobbits quickly become her favourites because, while equally awed, they behave accordingly to hobbits social standards, and she is loving these polite little dudes.
Sauron is not loving the situation. He knows about the situation because Luthien just. Eviscerated any orcs on her way while marching straight to the nearest palantir (she asked about a way to talk to him and that is what they told her would work, she can make a plan from there). They go through Caradhras, and Saruman can do nothing. They march right up to his gate, and Saruman can do nothing. They kill his orcs, get him out, and take the palantir, and Saruman can do nothing. Saruman is revaluating all his life choices (Theoden gets magically cured because Saruman was too busy and worried to keep the mind control. Grima gets quickly but efficiently dealt with).
Sauron is crying. What the fuck. Why. How. This isn't fair! "Though luck, bitch. I'm coming," Luthien says, making him cry even harder, then drops the connection and marches everyone to Gondor. They briefly stop in the Golden Woods for some reason so Galadriel can catch up with her old friend. Gimli is doubly starstruck.
At Gondor, Denethor wants to dismiss the she-elf outsider telling him how to rule his realm. Luthien makes him regret all his life choices, and is promptly handed control of everything (Denethor is in no condition to do anything, Boromir fears her, and Faramir is smart enough to show immediate respect). Since she is not stupid, she delegates the governing to people who actually know how to do it, and goes back to her favourite pastime: terrorising orcs, dark creatures, and Sauron. She is very good at it. The Nazgul take one look at her and go "Darkness beyond no", and flee.
Sauron would very much like to do the same when he finds her at his gate. Eru beyond why. Why?! This was never supposed to happen! "Though luck bitch, I'm coming," says Luthien, tearing his gate down with Song. Unfortunately , she doesn't get to fight him before Frodo chucks the Ring into the volcano. Sauron is so very happy. She is so very disappointed.
Luthien goes back to Rivendell with no idea how to go back to death and her love (she's mortal, even if insanely powerful. She will die, and rejoin Beren. She just doesn't know how), time to spare, and another mission: she's going to help her great-great-grandson find Maglor, to see if all three sons of FĂ«anaro she ever met are assholes, or Curufin and Celegorm were the exception. Elrond is not sure about the motive, but is happy about any help he can get. Maglor is less happy, and half-convinced he's hallucinating. "No you're not. I just want to see if being an asshole was genetic," explains Luthien.
"Okay, that's rude. And uncalled for!"
"Your brothers kidnapped me, tried to marry me against my will, almost killed my love, and got Finrod killed."
"Ah, you're talking about Curufin and Celegorm. Fair enough."
Luthien likes this one. She approves her great-great-grandson's affection. And his plan to bring Maglor to Valinor. The Valar are terrified.
Finrod: Finrod is living his best fucking life. He got mauled to death trying to save his man Beren, hoping he could get his girl, and now he's being healed by their great-great-grandson! Glorfindel had a heart attack when he found him, half-mauled, on Rivendell's doorstep. Elrond never heard him screaming with such a high voice. He's tempted to do the same. He sends a message to Galadriel immediately (son-in-law and father of beloved grandchildren he may be, but he has no illusion on surviving hiding her somehow returned brother).
Finrod gets healed. Elrond gets asked a lot of questions. Aragorn gets also asked a lot of questions. Glorfindel is roped into reminiscing, mostly about Turgon. Finrod is enjoying himself so much. Galadriel storms into the room, hugs him crying, shouts at him, cries some more, and Finrod keeps enjoying himself immensely. Then they explain the situation and current events. He's not enjoying himself so much anymore.
Finrod wants to march up to the gates of Mordor and demand a rematch. Elrond, Galadriel and Glorfindel manage to talk him out of it. They can't talk him out of joining the Fellowship. You win some, you lose some. Everybody and their mother are familiar enough with the tale of Beren and Luthien to be starstruck meeting the famous Finrod Felagund, who fought Sauron and his wolves to help the lovers. They are so awed to be in his presence while he just. Introduces himself like a normal elf. Going on a little hike. Oh you don't wear any shoes? Interesting let me try!
The hobbits appreciate this sensible elf. The others are so impressed by the stories they don't dare to say anything. Everyone is ready to tolerate any little quirk.
Then they get to Moria, and Finrod is so ready to add another monster to the list of things he fought. This time, he even deigns to use a weapon that isn't his teeth! Everyone is even more starstruck. Except the Balrog, but he doesn't have time to be sad for long.
A stop in LothlĂłrien. Finrod is very appreciative of his sister's realm. Celeborn has been worried since his wife came back and told him her brother was back, but he seems a nice fellow. The dwarf is also a nice fellow (he understands his wife's many wonders. He can tolerate a dwarf with good tastes). Celeborn is finding a lot of nice fellows around. Out of LothlĂłrien they have a slightly less horrible time because Finrod is there and ready to fight. Boromir survives (he does that a lot, huh), the halflings get captured, the Fellowship is divided, but nobody is tied up in a dungeon getting eaten by wolves, so everything is still fine.
As soon as the Rohirrim surround them, they put Finrod front and centre with a suitable introduction. Ăomer is suitably impressed. The meeting goes better all around. (I just realised, with Gandalf surviving all of the time, there is no Gandalf the White to tell Treebeard Merry and Pippin aren't orcs. Fuck. Fuck I fucked up. Uhhhh. Treebeard believes them for magic story-making reasons, you decide which one, I'm doing this to promote fantasy and self-expression. VoilĂ )
Grima is booted out. Saruman is suitably terrified by finding out Finrod fucking Felagund is back. So is Sauron. Helm's Deep's timeline is accelerated. Finrod still sings legions of orcs to death. Sucks to be working for Sauron and Saruman right now. Onto Gondor!
Gondor remembers the glorious past. Gondor is full of scholars. Gondor, confronted with Finrod fucking Felagund at its door, opens the gates, invites him in with a kingly welcome, and Denethor cannot do shit to stop it. Faramir is starstruck. The battle is organised. Finrod is smart and when Denethor asks about Osgiliath, stops it so fast. They are actually somewhat ready for the attack. Finrod sings the Nazgul down if they get too close. It's going rather well.
Sauron is not doing well. Sauron is having a horrible time. Why is this bastard elf back? It shouldn't be possible! He thought he would only need to worry about the Heir of Isildur and Gandalf! Nobody cares, least of all Finrod. Finrod is so ready for a rematch. Finrod is knocking on his door and telling Sauron's Mouth to tell Sauron he wants a rematch. Come out little bitch we're having a singing rematch right the fuck now.
Sauron does not want to come out. Luckily for him, the Ring gets destroyed before Finrod loses patience and goes to him directly. Sauron is almost relieved. Finrod is almost disappointed. Well, we won. Back to Elrond Beren-and-Luthien's-great-great-grandson Peredhil. What did you say you were doing? Looking for Maglor? Sure, sounds fun!
Maeglin: Maeglin is in a fucking nightmare. EĂ€rendil's son is healing the many broken bones resulting from EĂ€rendil's father chucking him off a mountain. After he betrayed their city. And EĂ€rendil bit him. He still has the bite. Glorfindel refuses to leave Elrond in a room alone with him and he keeps glaring and twitching a hand towards his sword. He's having feelings. Why couldn't he just die?
Elrond gets him up to speed. Morgoth is gone. Yay. Sauron is not. Fuck. Sauron is up to his usual fuckery. Horrible news, but not unexpected. Elrond and some others have a plan to stop him. Motherfucking fuck. Maeglin and his fucking feelings. Everytime he looks at Elrond he sees EĂ€rendil when he was a cute little potato, and called him uncle, and loved him, and Maeglin hadn't yet been captured and tortured into betraying Gondolin. Fuck.
Maeglin joins the Fellowship. Glorfindel refuses to let him go alone and joins too (the argument "They didn't send Glorfindel because he was too visible" is very much invalid, considering all these speculations hinges on even more visible legends joining in the fun). They boldly go. It's a good occasion to explore Maeglin's trauma and thought process!
Maeglin freezes in front of the Balrog. Gandalf does the "you shall not pass", and dies. The others get out. Glorfindel is incensed and ready for murder, but Aragorn talks him out of it. Even more feelings for Maeglin. They move onto LothlĂłrien. Galadriel is ready for murder and barely gets talked out of it. The trend seems to be repeating, and Maeglin has a horrible inkling it will keep repeating. Fuck.
He catches Boromir trying to take the Ring from Frodo. He stops him, then infodumps all his trauma to tell him why that's a horrible idea. He almost freezes when the orcs arrive, but Boromir, newly sane and firmly deciding he does not want to end up like the sad elf regretting all is life choices, intervenes and they both survive. They manage to run with a Boromir-not-a-pincushion, and not-kidnapped Merry and Pippin. When they meet Ăomer, they kindly ask directions for Edoras (they all need to heal and that's closest) and move on.
Maeglin sees Grima and has a moment of horrible realisation that that's him. Wow he sure is a bitch. No wonder everyone hates him! He hates himself, too! Glorfindel is suddenly and horribly uncomfortable with this sharing of his hatred. You're not supposed to be pitiable! They deal with Grima. They prepare for an assault at Helm's Deep, and it goes better than canon because they have GLORFINDEEEL! (and also Maeglin, but let's be real, Glorfindel is the real star of the battle). They win, they move onto the next step.
Maeglin would rather not let people in Gondor know who he is. He rarely gets what he wants. Denethor wants to lock him up and throw away the key (or kill him, either works). He doesn't get what he wants, either. They compromise thanks to Glorfindel (he's definitely not comfortable with helping smooth things out when Maeglin is involved, but he also doesn't get what he wants. What a horrible day for everyone around). Thanks to Boromir, they manage to avoid the Osgiliath suicide run and medium-rare Faramir. Cheers.
The battle is a mess. Sauron somehow found out Maeglin is there and is ready to unleash the mindfuckery. Maeglin has to confront his trauma repeatedly and in a terrible way, but he manages. Glorfindel's opinion of him rises slightly and he vows to keep it to his grave and beyond. They ride for Mordor.
Maeglin is a wreck. He's confronting his worst fears. He's going up to Sauron. He wants to run, but every time he thinks of that he ends up looking at Aragorn, thinking of Elrond, and moving on. They reach the gate. The Mouth of Sauron is generally unpleasant and firmly trauma-oriented. Maeglin finishes his character development by confronting him. The Ring gets destroyed and Sauron with him. Maeglin is ready to throw himself off the nearest mountain, but Glorfindel, extremely grudgingly and questioning his sanity, tows him along back to Elrond. Maeglin tries to flee. Elrond is deeply apologetic but Maeglin is nothing compared to Maglor's escape attempts. Maeglin has no choice but to stay.
(I just now realised one of the rules was they couldn't know anything except what they did at their death. I fucked up again. But I've been working on it all afternoon and I'm not going back to correct it, I'm so sorry but I can't, please consider forgiving me since I'm working through a food coma?)
Bonuses!
Fingon: Fingon was dead. Fingon is not dead anymore. Curious, but not bad, so he'll take it. He's being healed by Turgon's great-great-grandson! Turgon had a great-great-grandson? He has a great-grand-nephew? Wow! Wait, who did you say raised you? (Okay, yes, I like kidnap fam, alright? Alright.)
Two possibilities: 1. Cousin Maedhros was always is favourite cousin. Yes he may have done some atrocities (even more atrocities... three kinslayings? Yikes), but he's still his favourite cousin. He likes Elrond already! 2. Elrond is his beloved husband's son. Therefore he is also his son. He has a son now! (or two, depending how you haedcanon Gil-galad) And grand-babies!
Sauron is trying to fuck over his nephew/said son and grand-babies. Oh fuck no. Elrond dear you had a plan you say? Fingon joins the Fellowship to the surprise of absolutely nobody from the first Age. Money is exchanged (Glorfindel won the bet). The Balrog in Moria stood no chance. Galadriel almost has a heart attack but is quickly on board (she wants to fuck with Sauron so bad). The orcs stood no chance. Boromir survives, Merry and Pippin are safe, onwards they go. Grima is dealt with swiftly and efficiently. Fingon has ridiculous charisma and convinces Theoden King to bring the fight directly to Saruman. Saruman who doesn't yet have an immense army. Saruman is not having a great time right now. Ohh, is that uncle's palantir?
Sauron is also not having a good time right now. After some questioning and some whining, he musters all his forces, ready to face his biggest threat. The fight moves to Gondor. Two teeny tiny hobbits slips completely unnoticed through all his defenses, and continue undisturbed.
Fingon cloacks Denethor's shady vibes and decides to keep him under strict surveillance. He stops the Osgiliath suicide run with Boromir's help. He repels any bad or destructive decision the man makes. Denethor breaks in a spectacularly self-destructing and incriminating fashion. He is immediately confined to the Halls of Healing while people of sound-mind prepare to resist an attack from Sauron they know is coming. And coming it does.
It's massive. Terrifying. The battle is hard and a close call on multiple occasions. Throughout it all, Fingon is in the middle of the worst of it, fighting. Sauron would tear his hair out if he had any. How is this pesky little annoyance not dying? He sent everything he had against him!
Everything he had was not enough. They march to the gate of Mordor. Then Fingon decides to take a page out of his dad's book, and challenges Sauron to a duel. Sauron is absolutely not risking it, he saw the original duel with the elf's father, Morgoth was wounded, he is so not doing it thank you very much. Well sir, if you insist! The Ring is destroyed and Sauron doesn't have to do no duel. Fingon goes back to Rivendell, because he likes Elrond and he wants to spend some more time with his nephew/son.
Celegorm: he should be dead. He's very much not dead. Where the fuck are dad's Silmaril and his brothers, and who the fuck is healing him?
The Silmarills are gone. His brothers are all dead and lost, and so is his nephew Celebrimbor. Fucking Dior's great-grandson (fucking Luthien's great-great-grandson) is healing him. Celegorm is alone, with no purpose, surrounded by enemies.
Wait. Who did you say raised you?
Elrond's quest to be related with everyone and anyone saves the day. Turns out, Celegorm has a nephew, and in true fëanorian fashion, he latches onto him with near maniacal devotion. Elrond is happy to add another family member to the list. Glorfindel is less happy, but he has done stranger things for Tuor and Idril's grandchild, EÀrendil's son (up to and including organising searches for Maglor). At least he knows Celegorm is devoted, protective, and a nightmare to fight. He won't even be the first kinslayer in Rivendell (Elrond takes in everyone. If you don't like it, there's the door, you're welcome back when you can be civil). He'll take it. But he's not going to be the one to tell Galadriel. Nobody wants to be the one to tell Galadriel. Galadriel is scary, and Celegorm got her brother killed.
Celegorm hears about the Sauron problem. He hears about what he did to Celebrimbor. He realises what he could to Elrond. He's joining the Fellowship whether they want him or not. They very much don't want him for the most part, but it's either allowing him in and keeping an eye on him, or having him follow them doing Eru knows what. They'll choose the lesser evil, thank you very much.
Oh look, a Balrog. One of the things that killed his father. Please excuse him while he murders it with extreme prejudice. Oh look, Artanis. Hey baby cousin, tell your archers to put the arrows down, or do you want everyone to know what you did at Finwë's banquet that time? That's what I thought. This is who you married? By Eru, you could have done better. Galadriel wants him out of her realm yesterday. They move along swiftly.
Celegorm catches Boromir trying to steal the Ring and almost strangles him. He likes the little halflings. They're polite and very sensible. When the orcs try to take Merry and Pippin, he disagrees with this. Violently. With his weapons.
The orcs run.
He wants to go into Fangorn Forest. He's a hunter, the woods are his home. The others disagree quite strongly, and anyway everyone is a bit banged up, including the halflings (they joined the fight, Celegorm is so proud), and sad that Frodo and Sam are gone (everybody thinks it's their fault and feels horribly guilty, except him. He knows it was logical. He knows his job now is to keep Sauron's attention firmly on him, so they can do their job. He trusts them), so they end up in Edoras. And listen, Celegorm was never the most Song-inclined, but he's powerful and definitely not stupid, and between him and Gandalf Saruman gets yeeted out of Theoden King. Grima is sent running. Everything is right again, except that now Saruman is preparing an attack. Edoras doesn't have that many fighters. They'll have to go to Helm's Deep and hope for the best.
Celegorm points to the forest. Or, he says. You could get more fighters. Can I just go into Fangorn Forest real quick and see what I find? Sure, the others say, desperate to keep him occupied and not causing any problems, not giving much thought to what he could find.
Celegorm comes back with an army of Ents, and assorted forest animals.
How. Why. What. He just shrugs, he told you he could get you an army. Theoden King isn't going to refuse an army willingly walking up to his court, even if it comes from strange half-feral elves. They march to war. Isengard doesn't stand a chance, especially when the Ents see what was done to prepare Saruman's army. Motivation is always good before a fight.
Rohan dealt with, they move to Gondor. Celegorm took his dad's palantir and is keeping Sauron's attention on him (he's really enjoying tormenting the little bitch). He realises something is wrong with Denethor as soon as they get to Minas Tirith and reacts accordingly. Unfortunately, they stop his attempted murder. Fortunately, it pushes Denethor past the point of no return, and everyone can see how unhinged and unfit to rule the man is. Confinement in the Halls for this one.
Sauron knows Celegorm fucking FĂ«anorion is there. He sends an army that'll be able to kill him. Unluckily for him, Celegorm is really fucking motivated, or maybe just incredibly lucky, so he's just terribly injured. Not that that is going to stop him from marching to the Black Gate. He has a job, damnit! He will keep Sauron's attention on him no matter what. He also wants revenge, so there is really no stopping him.
Sauron is saved from actually confronting another fucking fëanorian by his Ring getting destroyed. He can't decide if that is a good or bad thing, but he doesn't have much time to think about it. Threat dealt with, feeling his mission is accomplished, Celegorm goes back to Rivendell and his nephew. Wait, you found a lead on who? Point the way, nephew!
Maglor is good at hiding. Celegorm is better at hunting. He brings his brother back tied up with a nice bow on top. Nephew look what I got you! Maglor is glaring at his younger brother. Elrond is very grateful though, so that's fine.
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