get love quick schemes

call me ocean or summer 💖💜💙 30 year old close up magician for dogs (unemployed). obsessed with too many characters & media to name. previously pacificoceans & dancingatafuneral 💕

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

in a parasocial relationship with the sea

[sololangs]

everyday i mourn that my parents did not make me study five languages during my critical window of language acquisition (2 to 7 years)

[mayahart]

THE GOOD PLACE (2016—2020) cr. Michael Schur

[geekysteven]

American socialism isn't a specific ideology, it's just "what if we actually solve some of the problems" which is appealing when contrasted with the mainstream parties' positions of "don't solve problems" and "problems are good and we want more of them”

[achillesinhighheels]

unfortunately i do believe that every time i delay watching a film it’s because it’s going to find me at the perfect time

[willgrahamscock]

a ​past url is kind of like a dead wife

[willgrahamscock]

now I’m curious, what’s everyone’s dead wife url

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags the last full album you listened to

[infectiouspiss]

Is it acceptable that I do shave my legs only because it’s easier to put lotion on my legs when they aren’t too hairy and I do like the feeling of smooth skin when I finish up with it.

I also only really do it once or twice a month so sometimes I do go out in public with hairy legs.

come on man i'm on my lunch break can't you wait???

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you will not feel stuck forever. you’re actually slowly but steadily moving forward in ways you don’t always notice.

[dib]

i ca;nt bleiev clowns r real.;;; wha tthe fuck….

[zim]

DID YOU JUST DISCOVER MIRRORS?

[dib]

SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[catgirl-kaiju]

lickstip

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

after my last concussion I had this weird thing for a few weeks where I like, didn't want to get hurt? like if I thought I might get hurt doing something that made me not want to do it. has anyone else ever experienced this?

[neatlymanifolded]

[twinkhole-destroyer]

the weather determines if I’m going to be evil

[calellon]

whoopss sorry i slipped up and hinted at the great darkness that roils within me. won't happen again

[thepoisonroom]

his wife has filled his house with antique gifts and things chintz and well i don't even need to tell you what happened next

[infertilityidol]

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

[dorothygale]

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.