The Bearer of the Curse

Carrie, 33. Roxie if we’re ✨close✨Goth, transfemme girlthing, lesbian, autistic, plural. It/its pronouns. Writer, musician, activist. https://ko-fi.com/whatacarrieon

[carrietoleratesitself]

there is nothing but the hunger

[carrietoleratesitself]

i told you that i loved you

and you said you loved me too

threw your arm around my waist

that casual way you always do

and i told you that i loved you

it took everything i had

to push those words across my lips

and it seemed to make you glad

and i told you that i loved you

on my best friend’s wedding day

you said it back, then kissed me

but i don’t we meant it the same way

[instantinternetcrush]

a part of me wishes you’d come back.

a part of me wishes you’d actually leave.

[carrietoleratesitself]

At some point we're gonna have to talk about being plural aren't we

[burntthroat]

love as religion

jorge luis borges // ron padgett // richard siken // halsey // lana del rey // caitlyn siehl // hozier // katherine philips

[carrietoleratesitself]

trying a fun new project where i just type stream of consciousness bullshit, post it here for accountability, and hope musical/lyrical inspiration strikes

[carrietoleratesitself]

Ok I’m back on here and desperately in need of attention

[carrietoleratesitself]

Also please ask me things I’m bored

[carrietoleratesitself]

Also update, turns out I’m plural ooops

[carrietoleratesitself]

So update, I have a Substack you can subscribe to for free (paid options also exist) where I write about witchcraft!

[carrietoleratesitself]

The Monster’s Hide

You shed your uncomfortable skin

The lie that you have lived

That you are one of them

This monstrous form suits you better

Although some will prize your hide

And chase it to take for their own

Or simply want to kill you for acknowledging the truth of yourself

But is this

Truly

The truth?

Are you a monster? Is this form monstrous, a beast with think inhuman hide.

Or is your claim to inhumanity simply another way to hide?

[transfemininomenon]

hey girl, um, we were playing d&d with your boyfriend and um. yeah she has new pronouns now. yeah no she's doing great, yeah, yeah no she made a girl character as a joke and well the rest is history. or herstory, heh. anyway yeah uh guess she's your girlfriend now

[transfemininomenon]

sooooo obsessed with people who are like "god i wish this were me" because im like babe which part do you want to be a girl or do you wish your boyfriend was a girlfriend because either way i have some news for you

[talenlee]

they want someone to run a D&D game for them

roll for initiative

[carrietoleratesitself]

The Tentacle Beast

You can feel it writhing in your gut

Tendrils - no -

Tentacles

Trying to

Crawl

c

r

e

e

push their w

a

y

Out of your body and up into the

fra

g

m

t

e

d

W

orld. They writhe

Like some horror from the

d

e

e

p

Some monster with tentacles

You can

feel them

B

E

N

E

A

T

H

Y

O

U

R

S

K

I

N

ow you understand as they push through

Burst out

Blood pouring to the ground

You are the monster with the tentacles

Finally shedding an uncomfortable skin

[carrietoleratesitself]

The Cave

Embrace

You wish

Wish she would

Em

brace

You.

You seek out small places

Corners closets caves

You feel comfortable in the dark and the pressure

Safety

It feels like home

It is home

Never forget you are a monster

You belong in the dark corners

You reflect the fear that proper people have

That somewhere

(In their own dark corners)

They might be a little bit like you

You belong in the empty spaces

Theirs is the only embrace you will ever know

You can feel the loneliness writhing in your gut

[yossyislandd]

they made girls for be kissed by other girls

[carrietoleratesitself]

Hypnotised

You withdraw into yourself, feeling the shutters fall in your eyes, blank-staring into the middle distance rather than face another sugar-coated rejection, kind words glossing over disgust at your mismatched body and fragile mind. But she slowly reaches out a hand and gently cups your chin, angling your face towards her so that you look into her eyes. You could get lost in there. Sinking. You feel calmer than you have in a while. What is this rushing in your ears why is her voice coming from such a great distance? You cannot keep looking into the light and beauty of her face so you close your eyes and sink into her embrace.

[carrietoleratesitself]

Yes this was yesterday’s prompt but I’m a day late, a buck short (as Blink-182 famously said) and today’s piece will follow later. I hope people are enjoying the connections between pieces.

Also I am genuinely several bucks short so uhhh I’ve set up a Ko-Fi and if anyone who likes my writing can ever afford to chip in I’ll put it in my bio

Buy Carrie O’Neill a Coffee. ko-fi.com/carrieoneill

Become a supporter of Carrie O’Neill today! ❤️ Ko-fi lets you support the creators you love with no fees on donations.

[carrietoleratesitself]

Hypnotised

You withdraw into yourself, feeling the shutters fall in your eyes, blank-staring into the middle distance rather than face another sugar-coated rejection, kind words glossing over disgust at your mismatched body and fragile mind. But she slowly reaches out a hand and gently cups your chin, angling your face towards her so that you look into her eyes. You could get lost in there. Sinking. You feel calmer than you have in a while. What is this rushing in your ears why is her voice coming from such a great distance? You cannot keep looking into the light and beauty of her face so you close your eyes and sink into her embrace.