Carson Reilly

Carson Reilly, 35, Teaches US Government at Greenfield Academy. I drive a bentley. Ask for a ride, you might get more than you were expecting. Charming, confident and charismatic. I get what I want. Period.

[carson-reilly]

Is it Friday yet?

Please tell me it is? I'm already done with this week...

[carson-reilly]

Who even invented non-alcoholic beer?!

[tylerjohnny]

It’s for those who want to look cool but be sober while they’re at it. Personally, I think if they’re going to drink, drink the real shit and not the fake.

[carson-reilly]

I agree with you 100% on that one darling. If you're gonna drink, drink like a man, not a pussy. If you're gonna drink non-alcoholic beer, don't drink at all!

[carson-reilly]

Who even invented non-alcoholic beer?!

[abel-kinnegan]

Ye know what’s funnier? Sharing. ‘Specially with a Scotsman.

[carson-reilly]

Actually I WOULD quite look to watch a Scotsman get drunk so I guess I should share my scotch with you.

[meenigma]

[carson-reilly]

Carson Reilly - Cats

[carson-reilly]

Hey, man, I feel like we haven't talked in forever. How's life?

It's been forever. Life if good thank you. How was your New Years? Do anything special?

[luis-hamilton]

New Year.

[luis-hamilton]

I know that but it seems easier when a new year starts. I know it’s not true but it feels like a clean slate.

[carson-reilly]

A clean slate from what? Did you do something you regret last year? You look like the kind of man who has a lot of....regrets. Just sayin'

[luis-hamilton]

New Year.

New start, new opportunities. 

[carson-reilly]

You don't need a new year as an excuse to make changes..you should just change regardless. Bettering ones self should happy at any point in the calendar.

[romantic00]

[carson-reilly]

Carson and his cat

[dead-runner]

[Private]

[dead-runner]

If you studied government and you now teach it and you still think our country is great, then you’re an idiot.

I think you teach here because you like being ‘around’ the younger generation. You give me that creeper vibe — you’re the sort of person who just can’t stay away. Not all perverts drive around in white vans handing out free candy. You rub me the wrong way. No need to get your panties in a twist because not everyone is vulnerable to your supposed charm and good looks. Both of those things are subjective.  

[carson-reilly]

Shhh calm down old man, you're going to give yourself stress induced hemorrhoids if you're not careful.

You can say what you like about me but I'm pretty sure you have no solid evidence to back up your ludicrous claims. It sounds to me like someone needs to get laid...

[carson-reilly]

Who even invented non-alcoholic beer?!

[aj-rivers]

Yeah, I’m a student. I’m 19, I’m old enough to handle the liquid. Besides I’ll be legal in a few years, though I already am in other countries.

[carson-reilly]

You're still illegal right now. So no beer for you. This is 'merica you obey THESE laws!

[dead-runner]

There is so much work to be done before we return to school...

[dead-runner]

Especially when one is uninterested.

  Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve seen bluer eyes and better jaws on more attractive men. That sounds like a completely ridiculous conclusion to jump to. I don’t like quitters.

[carson-reilly]

Well that's a shame because I thought for a moment YOU might actually be interesting, but I guess I was wrong. You're just another condescending old queen.

Oh honey, don't be jealous. It's not a good look on you. You thought I was being serious? Hrmm maybe you need to take a lesson or two in sarcasm darling. I teach government because I enjoy the subject and I like being able to teach the younger generation why politics and government are important to our great country.

[carson-reilly]

Who even invented non-alcoholic beer?!

[abel-kinnegan]

I think it’s funny.

[carson-reilly]

You know what I think is funny? Drinking this whole bottle of Scotch on my own. Cheers!

[carson-reilly]

[PRESENTS SNEAKED INTO CARSON'S PLACE AND LEFT UNDER HIS TREE IF HE HAS ONE, IF NOT, THEN JUST SOMEWHERE ON THE BED OR SOMETHING.]

Christmas jumper.

Merry Christmas, Carson! I thought you could use some Christmas spirit and the jumper would look nice on you. I hope you like it.

A ring with J.H. engraved on the inside of the band.

I know, it kind of looks like a wedding band but ignore that. You always seemed like a ring wearing kind of a man to me. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

DISCLAIMER: JULIAN AIN'T LOADED SO LESS PRESENTS FROM HIM. HE SPENT A SHIT TON OF HIS ALLOWANCE ON THE RING SO BE DAMN GRATEFUL.

Carson walked into his living room and smiled shaking his head a little when he saw the gifts under his tree. He didn't even need to check the tags, he knew who they'd be from. He was suddenly glad he'd decided to leave the gifts for Julian in his dorm room. He opened then gifts Julian had left for him carefully, reading the tags as he did so. He laughed at the jumper, it was great. He pulled it on right away. He unwrapped the small box and raised his eyebrows. The ring inside of it was beautiful. It was exactly Carson's style. He glanced at the inside and realized it was engraved with the boys initials. He smiled affectedly and slipped it on over his finger. Carson adored rings and this one was gorgeous. He knew it was expensive and knew Julian must have spent a lot of money buying it for him. He made a mental note the thank the boy very much the next time he saw him. He admire the ring on his finger. He loved it.

[carson-reilly]

[Leaves a wrapped Christmas Present in front of his door. It's just chocolate, a polite gift for acquaintances]

Carson opened his door and found a wrapped gift waiting there. He smiled picking it up and reading the tag. It was from Ellie. He went inside and opened it, smiling at the chocolate. I would definitely enjoy it.

[dead-runner]

There is so much work to be done before we return to school...

[dead-runner]

Well, congratulations to you. Oh, I guess I was so bored by what you teach that I got government and geography confused. I must not have been listening. Who the fuck goes into government and decides to TEACH it to high school students?

[carson-reilly]

It's a simple mistake to make, maybe you were distracted by my ridiculously blue eyes or my chiseled jaw? What is it that they say? To err is human, to forgive is divine? Well I didn't have high hopes for becoming a politician so I thought fuck it, I'll teach high school kids. Seemed like a logical choice.

[eliseo-morales]

Good afternoon, hope everyone had a great day.

[carson-reilly]

eliseo-morales:

I like baseball. What about you? Other than that, I’m not really into sports. No, I stayed here at Greenfield. I had a quiet Christmas in my dorm by myself. What about you?

  I like basketball and football. Baseball is good too though. I see, so did I actually. I spent day alone in my room trying to ignore the constant phone calls from my mother.

It was a joyful day.

[carson-reilly]

Who even invented non-alcoholic beer?!

[aj-rivers]

Probably they weren’t. Or they’re just a bunch of fucking prudes.

[carson-reilly]

I agree with that....wait...are you a student? Aren't you a little YOUNG to be drinking beer?