they/he | 21 | Okay, so, this account is like 8yrs old??? completely forgor :/ but I kept drawing 👍 and writing and will continue. I dare not scroll far down, there's cringe down there that hasn't been unearthed in years 😦
This is what I was alluding to when I discussed that the volume of name changes you have to make as a trans person highlights the ridiculous amount of documentation attached to you.
Something I'm beginning to genuinely miss doing is complex math problems. Made me feel nice and smart, felt like a done task and the process of it is DIVINE. I am an office supplies SLUT, a freshly sharp pencil gets me PUMPED. when going through Calculus 3 and Physics 3 I genuinely started by clearing my desk, fresh page in my graph notebook, and a pencil sharpened like it's religion. And then I was like that for 5 hours 😬.
I do also miss tutoring. It's kinda in my life plans I think to return to academics and become a professor. But I need post-grad for that. And for that I need money. Idk, I just really dislike career work. There's no hard problems, it's just menial and tedious. I can attribute that to the specific work I do though at the moment. #web development fucking SUCKS
The tangential velocity of the tip of the big ass fan at planet fitness was travelling roughly 15 to 20 mph. Error is due to the tools on hand, such as the clock on the treadmill, and not knowing the exact height of my ruler (grandma).
Today a random clip of a F1nn5ter Q&A stream found its way into my feed.
Someone asked F1nn why it was that on her larger branded social media accounts she still listed herself as a femboy in some places while in more intracommunity spaces she more readily and comfortably identified as transfem.
Now, depending on who you ask that kind of question to you'll probably get a meandering answer on the complexities of how one defines their own identity. But instead F1nn gave a very quick and simple answer.
She gets less death threats or other general threats of violence from people when she calls herself a femboy vs calling herself transfem. It wasn't any deeper than that, and some people in her audience understood that, while others were confused that femboys were more palatable to cis people than transfems.
Another Clip of F1nn made its way across my feed today, she she mentioned a little bit more on the difference on being known as a Transfem streamer vs her old Femboy days.
"As soon as I came out as trans, it felt like everyone was an asshole and I had to adapt to it again...I don't know, people just don't like it if you're not [just] some funny guy."
It was kind of incredible and sickening to witness how the wider internet shifted its opinion on F1nn when she came out. I went from seeing clips of her everywhere, to seeing clips of her talking about coming out, to not seeing anything. Soon after all I'm seeing about F1nn is that she's problematic, stupid drama being spread around for no reason. Even other transfems flipped on her, criticizing everything she does, saying she's bad for the community because she's a sex worker and other bullshit. She set up a thing to try and help people in the UK get hormones and somehow got hate from trans people about it. (I haven't looked into it that much, I could not care less what's happening on those islands.)
I've talked about it before but F1nn5ter is a pretty textbook example of how trans women are hated more than "femboys" and how even other trans women can be transmisogynistic to those they deem valid targets.
Something I'm beginning to genuinely miss doing is complex math problems. Made me feel nice and smart, felt like a done task and the process of it is DIVINE. I am an office supplies SLUT, a freshly sharp pencil gets me PUMPED. when going through Calculus 3 and Physics 3 I genuinely started by clearing my desk, fresh page in my graph notebook, and a pencil sharpened like it's religion. And then I was like that for 5 hours 😬.
I do also miss tutoring. It's kinda in my life plans I think to return to academics and become a professor. But I need post-grad for that. And for that I need money. Idk, I just really dislike career work. There's no hard problems, it's just menial and tedious. I can attribute that to the specific work I do though at the moment. #web development fucking SUCKS
it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,
okay, I'm on the big puter for this take. I've thought out. (sandwich appearance down below)
Something I have not heard talked about enough is how people manage their home kitchens and the meals they eat. This is very important to me. I should bring it up to my friends but I must gather my thoughts here.
Using my vast powers of being-child-of-divorced-parents I have three different examples of this subject to talk about. This includes, my moms house, my dads house, and my grandmas house. Some are better than others but they all have their short comings. Preface, I'm specifically talking about when my siblings and I are visiting and during childhood. As my parents are empty-nest-ers.
First, my dad. The worst of the bunch. Currently, his nights are a toss-up. The state of his kitchen is a symptom of a greater issue in the household. One such issue I will not go into because hella yikes for real. But, He hoards many ingredients and such while shopping. So routinely stuff goes bad. He doesn't cook often, and even less so his wife-that-I-hate. My dad is a good cook though, the other not so much. She astonishingly finds a way to make any grouping of ingredients bland as hell. Absent of their original flavors. Anyway, main issue, my dad buys too much food and doesn't use it. This is a hoarding trait passed down from my grandmother.
A mostly reformed hoarder she is, my grandmother also keeps a lot of food stocked. She is a good cook but her shopping practices weigh over that skill quite noticeably. More often then not, she will prepare a meal on the pretense of "it needed gone". She is more diligent than my father, trying her best not to waste food. However, this Sisyphean scramble against the clock is her vice. Especially with her over-buying issue. One-pack of bread isn't enough. There was a sale, so now this house of two has four loafs of bread. Which often leads to sloppy and uninspired cooking, following TikTok recipes that "looked good". But it is still the same method, a step up from my father.
Now, to the complete other side of the spectrum, my mother. She does not keep a plethora of perishable ingredients on-hand. At the top of the week, she prepares a list of meals for each day that can be chosen from for any night of the week. A very good system to keep food from wasting, and meals from mundanity. However, one flaw rears it's head glaring. There are few snacks to be had. My mother, a money-saver, does not like to purchase finer ingredients like a good dijon mustard, or fresh deli meats. This is most unfortunate if you've been watching food shows all week and have an incredibly specific hankering. So, the most eaten food in my mothers house was cereal. I love me a bowl of cereal. But sometimes, it just can't replace that need for a splendid sammy. And trust.. I know sammys.
Where does this all lead? I am a complainer, but I've learned from all that I've seen. Frankly, I prefer my mother's method, keeps grocery costs low and nightly dinners easy on the brain. But what of lunches, and those specific cravings. Well, this is very simple, I know what went wrong already. I pointed it out clearly. My mom didn't always buy the most bestest ingredients. I will do better if I can. A delicate balance between too many ingredients, and not enough. HOWEVER, knowing the state of the union, this could be quite the pipe-dream.
phm is decently popular in japan and i mostly see this when i check twitter and see accounts posting pictures of handmade rocky plushies that are so fucking round looking it brings a tear to my eye
I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:
gamechangershow
romaincrisis
gummygunk
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
ellievsbear
