each doctor has a special power

31/male androgyne yet somehow also an evil and intimidating lesbian/he+they+it/content not safe for minors

[cartoonscientist]

no but social media sucks because a post will come up on someone’s dash saying “really sick of seeing men wearing pink shirts” and they’ll be like “what’s wrong with men wearing pink? I think we should normalize it!” and then it turns out the OP was vaguing about a local hate group only in their county that wears pink as a group signifier but the first person had no way of knowing that because it got recirculated out of context and like, neither of these people did anything wrong but now they’re fighting

[cartoonscientist]

“no pants and no shoes? damn girl did you just break out of a root cellar and run here as fast as you could haha”

“ha. haha. [an uncomfortable level of eye contact]”

[cartoonscientist]

I like to mention that I’m in elite physical shape a lot on here because it distracts from my lack of a traditional job or social life

[cartoonscientist]

no but I hate having asthma so much because by all metrics I’m in a state of elite athletic conditioning but I can’t run for any kind of extended duration, but like, my body wants to run and sometimes my muscles get away from me like a poorly leashed sled dog at a public park and I give myself a life-threatening asthma attack on the sidewalk

[thememedaddy]

[cartoonscientist]

if your physical health is better than your mental health you can just keep running until you fall over from exhaustion which works too

[cartoonscientist]

What the fuck, Bane?! That’s my sister! And he’s disabled!!

[cartoonscientist]

people with no concept of who alex merkel is are going to have a different visceral reaction to this photo i feel

[cartoonscientist]

in my syncretic worldview, Eris tossing the golden apple and Eve picking the fruit of knowledge are both human interpretations of when the creating force’s trickster counterpart allowed organic life to have a level of sentience and free will that would make it no longer just an extension of the cosmic body but its own distinct entities with their own egos, and this event had multiple “echoes” across time in the third dimension including the Cambrian explosion and the advent of hominid sapience. all of the body plans that organic life has ever had have been based on the forms of various gods and cosmic entities that already existed. somewhere in the astral plane there is a flock of anomalocaris gliding through space.

[cartoonscientist]

organic universes are most likely in the minority of reality types because they’re relatively fragile and short-lived. physical matter is constantly being battered by the forces of entropy because spiritual energy resists being bound to corporeal atoms and will always seek to exit the bounds of the physical universe and return to the astral plane.

[cartoonscientist]

in my syncretic worldview, Eris tossing the golden apple and Eve picking the fruit of knowledge are both human interpretations of when the creating force’s trickster counterpart allowed organic life to have a level of sentience and free will that would make it no longer just an extension of the cosmic body but its own distinct entities with their own egos, and this event had multiple “echoes” across time in the third dimension including the Cambrian explosion and the advent of hominid sapience. all of the body plans that organic life has ever had have been based on the forms of various gods and cosmic entities that already existed. somewhere in the astral plane there is a flock of anomalocaris gliding through space.

[cartoonscientist]

the Baader-Meinhoff Goddess these past few days: okay well have you considered reading The 48 Laws of Power

[cartoonscientist]

we need to clone dinosaurs so I can get thwumped on the leg by a feathery theropod tail

[cartoonscientist]

the thing about men in black cryptids is that they definitely don’t actually work for the cia, but they think they work for the cia

[cartoonscientist]

yeah i don’t think you can call it a weekend at bernies situation in good conscience if you reanimated a corpse i mean at that point it’s just a full blown frankenstein scenario

[cartoonscientist]

you think the ocean is scary because you’re a mammal but like just be aware that sharks think we live crushed by gravity against a two dimensional burning hellscape

[cartoonscientist]

absolutely delighted by the de-cursing tutorial. I wasn’t really sure how “Lovecraftian comedy” was going to play out in this specific game, but pseudo-old-englyshe folk horror where all the mutant trees are wearing multiple fedoras definitely fits the bill. the vvoodcutter.

[cartoonscientist]

overcome by a strange kinship for the amphibious, cold-blooded creature, asenath rescued a turtle that would soon become her ally. a suitable name surfaces somewhere from the depths of her unconscious.

still instinctually eager to fulfill the orders of an older male authority figure, she presented her 200% full gas can to the bus driver.

well, our asenath is just a special gal who casually violates the laws of physics like that. …azzy?

wait. holy shit.

WAS TUMBLR FABLE AUNT ASSIE FUCKING NAMED ASENATH

[cartoonscientist]

you might think that I’m a pyromaniac who likes playing with explosives but I actually have a superhuman resistance to burns and smoke inhalation, which I discovered while trying to make my own fireworks

[cartoonscientist]

we’re not even out of the tutorial level yet and asenath has defeated the minotaur. navidson could NEVER.