Nothing To See Here

Cas (they/them) Let me read in peace ✌

[commandertired]

SQQ was right on track in wanting to protect Luo Binghe from everything and everyone. Bundle him up. Put him in a box labelled "fragile, handle with care"

[commandertired]

Luo Binghe who would rather be loved than respected (by sqq)

Luo Binghe who would rather be kept than loved (by sqq)

[greatscottimafangirl]

Stiles: Bro-

Derek: I had your fucking tongue in my mouth five minutes ago, don't you fucking dare call me "bro"

[dust1feather]

#i can see this #derek is a romantic and will not be called bro or dude #although derek immediately rethinks his stance on this #when stiles starts conversations by calling him 'hotstuff' #unfortunately his blush is so entertaining stiles refuses to switch back #sterek (via @pale-silver-comb​ )

[benaya-trash]

[lorewritesstuff]

LMY (and others') view of moshang: And then the big scary ice demon pushed down the weak, trembling cultivator who was unable to escape his tender mercies.

meanwhile Moshang:

MBJ, robes artfully falling around his chest: Shang Qinghua. Come to bed.

SQH, all but stabbing the paper with red ink: Not now, Daddy's about to end this man's whole career.

[fangirlingpuggle]

SVSSS AU/fic prompt where cultivators are bonded to swords mind and soul.

After Zheng Yang is reforged the bond to LBH reawakens.

LBH feeling bond reconnecting and seeing through Zheng Yang seeing his Shizun kneeling before sword mound constantly. Every time he checks his Shizun is there looking tired and so sad.

At this point he is no longer concerned about winning Shizun back or proving himself it is clear Shizun cared for him. He cared for him so much!

LBH is speed running abyss because he has to get back and make SQQ happy

[disgracefulthings]

Luo Binghe: What was your 'gay awakening'?

Mobei-Jun: What?

Luo Binghe: According to Shizun and Shang-shishu, a 'gay awakening' is the moment you realize you're into men

Luo Binghe: For example, my gay awakening was seeing Shizun shirtless (although that is more of a Shizun awakening because I don't like other men)

Luo Binghe: What about you?

Mobei-Jun: ...

Many years ago

Mobei-Jun, doing nothing: ...

Voice of god: hey you

Mobei-Jun: Me?

Voice of god: yeah you, you like men

Mobei-Jun: ...ok

Present

Mobei-Jun: Same as everyone else's

Luo Binghe: ???

[overfalls]

donghua gets points from me because this is such an unbelievably cunt way to introduce your protagonist

[bat-incooking-school]

Out of all of the donghua's problems, a lack of aura is never one of them

[mistake07]

Like a stranger

[antisocial-cheesepuff]

RIP luo binghe you would’ve loved to make a million fake social media accounts so you could stalk shen qingqiu and like all his posts

[allpiesforourown]

Wei wuxian in fics: I'm a slutty little omega seductress in booty shorts

Wei wuxian in canon: hangin out by the blood pool #mybloodpool

[ckneal]

We all love the idea that the disciples of An Din Peak know about and have accepted that their shizun is colluding with demons. The idea that they have all assumed that Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun are in a committed relationship and have universally decided to look the other way whenever faced with evidence of Mobei Jun's presence, while Shang Qinghua is still utterly oblivious to Mobei Jun's shameless courtship attempts is also gold. (I mean, just imagine the hushed conversations those disciples must have had when Liu Mingyan and the Qing Jing Peak disciples started spinning stories about Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe's theoretical relationship when they were all convinced they were sitting on the details of an actual forbidden romance.)

But I think this gets even better when you add in the idea of Mobei Jun getting frustrated in his attempts to win his strange little human's affection, and, in his pettier moments, deliberately trying to get caught by these kids who refuse to catch him.

Just imagine Mobei Jun, thinking that if he exposes Shang Qinghua as a traitor, then his human will have to seek refuge in the Ice Palace, and Mobei Jun can sweep him off his feet and into the nearest set of wedding robes. So, when Qinghua's not around, Mobei hunts down whatever closet Qinghua keeps Mobei's spare boots and fur-lined cloaks in and flings them across his floor to be discovered. He starts leaving the traditional animal-head courting gifts out on Qinghua's doorstep instead of on his desk. He "accidentally" encases half of Qinghua's leisure house in ice in the middle of summer. At one point, he heard disciples walking by and marched outside in full daylight, and still the children did not turn their heads to see the massive ice demon standing just outside their shizun's doorway.

Mobei Jun is starting to think that being very, very dense might just be one of the requirements for study on An Ding Peak. Meanwhile, Airplane is having a heart attack every other day from trying to cover up these stealth fails that no one cares about.

I dunno, I just think there's something so funny in that.

[withoutzeuzey]

bingqiu_kissing.gif

Yeah

[shuravf]

Another cover magazine!

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[ablaze-stan]

By demon standards, Mobei-Jun is extremely affectionate and caring, by demon standards he's a sap and romantic to the point where everyone in the Northern Desert knows he's down bad for the little cultivator he keeps around and that his flirting is not working. I think that, as soon as Shang Qinghua spills about hating the demon courting rituals, Mobei-Jun takes a few days to adjust and then becomes the sappiest, most romantic man by human standards too

Shang Qinghua was not ready.

[bog-witch-4-mayor]

there is an alternate reality where Wyn gets his way and has Edin send Danny away to the raider's camp for his own safety. And maybe Danny is so furious at Wyn for not respecting his autonomy and wishes that he puts distance and space between them.

And then he meets a grumpy and closed off half-monster who comes and goes from the camp. Danny is gregarious, incredibly handsome, with a delightful southern accent that would have bulldozed through Moth's prickly nature. And by that point in the Monstrous Cinematic Universe, we know Danny was already down with the kind of equipment Moth was working with and would have soothed bodily insecurities.

This thought brought to you by Charlie's waking nightmares

[necromycologist]

anyway misvil is funny bc yue wuhuan is like wow.... cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure.... i must not sully his moral perfection and innocent nature... and the cinnamon roll in question is like Here you go wuhuan i got you a soul to torture for eternity. omg #yay there's cadavers. i loveeeee dissecting humans.