Alek

✨A shit ton of unrelated fandoms✨ | he/him | mentally unstable ✌️

[silly-little-pal]

[alsoknownasallison]

dan calling heart eyes howell "depressed daggers" explains how and why so many heart eyes howells made it into the edit of videos over the years. bro straight up does not see it. he thinks that is a normal way people look at each other.

[c3rvida3]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[drivablecar]

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

[c3rvida3]

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

[drivablecar]

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

[c3rvida3]

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

[metaphorsofeverlong]

if i ever tell you "i cant possibly read a book in a day!" i am LYING. i am a FUCKING LIAR. because last night i read a 50k word fanfic in three fucking hours.

[homunculus-argument]

Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

[tawnyevergreen]

me when the gay people love each other

[baggnshield]

my gay ass just assumed crystal was experiencing beautiful lesbian love

[literallyaflame]

i love when the “it is my god given right to remain miserable and take things personally. fuck you for making a post about the importance of drinking water. a bottle of dasani tried to kill me in the fourth grade” crowd and the “you guys are so stupid. you can actually cure every disease on earth with diet and exercise. no i’m not ‘lucky’ to be in ‘good health,’ i just take care of myself :) i have a superiority complex about this by the way” crowd start arguing. it’s a real unstoppable force v. immovable object situation

[arachnidlily]

Yoo Junghyuk and Yoo Sangah were actually robbed of the possible interactions they could have had like they're so obviously parallels of the other, Ysa being a stepping stone for kdj to truly understand yjh. Like fym they never really talked, THEY COULD BE BESTIES!!

it would have been so much more interesting to see the parallels if they interacted more from them both having the surname yoo, them both being revered by kdj and put on a pedestal despite being flawed (something which ysa told kdj directly) both incredibly optimistic and foolhardy to the point of putting their own health on the line (three year gap and yih in the 999th round) to hold together their group

both being controlled by celestial beings, they are the same character. at their core but their gender actually does have an effect on how they act, both of them acting stereotypical to the standards of their sex (ysa kind and wanting to fit in and yjh strong and masculine)

but ultimately they are the same, the idealised version of what they should be (yjh a typical handsome and stoic protagonist and ysa a kind and caring woman who conducts her self with femininely ) though they both break the mould in certain ways they both still fit into it

Like I’m genuinely never going to get over at how they’re each other but yoo sangah has the complexity of a real person rather than a character. Ysa is hyper aware of the image she gives out and lives up to it while yjh doesn’t, even if he’s the ideal, he’s not actively

changing himself to fit like Yoo Sangah is. Their similarities only further emphasise their differences, that Yjh is too good to be true, a perfect protagonist that doesn’t actively try to be perfect while his real life counterpart does

[mortalityplays]

you're probably not sick like me so you're not spectating the delusions but there are people publishing daily bulletins about their 'progress' to manifest a cancelled tv show back into reality, and it includes things like "one of the actors posted a selfie today" and "an intern at a content farm wrote a blog article about it"

[ryanphantom]

the worst part about the straight brony post is that I don't have a funny "oh, but I'm a gay now!" or a "oh, I'm a girl now!" response................ I'm still straight

[wordsnstuff]

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[auraoflunacy]

I think Self Shippers need to kick it up a notch and have Fictional Enemies, make a self insert whose life goal is to beat the shit out of a canon character

[wired-heartbeats]

This is the the funniest fucking tag I’ve seen on this post yet

[catgirlforeskin]

becoming a Diabolus ex Machina for my blorbo, performing a High Altitude Low Opening jump directly over their heads to beat the crap out of them with maximum efficiency

[lunaefall]

Who did you get on the HSR starter banner?

Bronya

Gepard

Himeko

Welt

Clara

Bailu

Yanqing

Voting ended onMay 4, 2023

I'm a Bailu haver. Reblog for sample size VERY appreciated ❤️.

[flagellant]

omg hyper nonspecific poll time!!!

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Voting ended onApr 22, 2023

[were--ralph]

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[evilwizard]

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

[tsurangaconundrum]

oh no ones experiences are original? okay tell that to misha collins. checkmate buster