What Do You Mean, I'm the Adult Here?

[cuteautumn]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[tomatoreddsworld-deactivated201]

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

[derranger-deactivated20220102]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[imokube-deactivated20240203]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[mr-freezo-42069-inactive]

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

[hallowed-be-thy-ween]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

[virtualgirladvance]

[asgardian-angel]

I was trying to put together something cool with this Aragorn and Geralt you know some kind of crossover universal tavern and found this last gif and it fits too perfectly someone help me.

[council-of-beetroot]

Shana Tova to this squirrel and only this squirrel in particular

[short-wooloo]

Do you think Jewish Squirrels wear Kippuh made from acorn tops?

[lilac-buttons]

Squirrel might be next, butnI sketched a little mouse with an acorn kippah and a crab apple! Shana tova!!!

[transmisogynyarchives]

If it's a legitimate assassination the male body has ways of shutting that whole thing down

[rostbef]

refreshing the dash moments after a conservative pundit gets shot dead

[dreamofhircine]

Issuing a broad apology to etsy witches, now that magic is real apparently.

[dreamofhircine]

two-day delivery like they had Prime shipping.

[shampooligan]

you know what lets actually bring back lolcats, they were so simple and so benevolent. like check this out

[flimflamflummox-deactivated2021]

Here’s my favorite lolcat:

Next stop: Noobshire

[switch-up-snowfox]

it’s often the cute meme’s that age well once you get past the “literally everywhere” phase.

[scaliefox]

I like this classic

[princesstigerbelle]

More classics

[hymnofvalefor]

I went through almost ten years of photos on my Facebook page go find this

[owl-librarian]

But WAIT! DO NOT FORGET. the granddaddy: 

[tzikeh]

HOLD UP THERE 

SKIPPY 

“I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER” GOT FAMOUS OFF THE BACKS OF THE PIONEERING LOLCATS

THIS WAS IN THE BEFORE-TIMES 

WHEN THEY WERE KNOWN AS 

CAT MACROS 

AND THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO MAKE ANY SENSE

AND NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO SCROLL THROUGH A FUCKIN’ FEW MORE

[annagetsthefabulousbabes]

  https://youtu.be/UF2bVxFRKhA

THERE WAS A SONG.

[thebibliosphere]

“Jesus Christ it’s a lion get in the car!” still pops into my head on a regular basis. Same with “eh meh gherd” (“oh my god”).

Also long cat. I’m sad no one posted long cat.

[ethanrayne]

Also- I can’t find it right now, for some reason- but the “happycat has run out of happy” was referencing not just the format of “[thing]cat is [thing]” but specifically another meme with an identical cat smiling (“happycat is happy”). Possibly it’s the same cat.

[robotsandfrippary]

[xelbleedsglitter]

I think about this one literally any time I start a sentence with ‘do you want’

[labelleizzy]

Kitty has reached critical mass MY BELOVED

[thisdisappearingland]

in the fatboy slim video for "weapon of choice" we frequently hear the phrase "if you walk without rhythm you won't attract the worm" a line from the movie dune. "walking without rhythm, " also known as sandwalking, is the way of becoming one with your environment, to give yourself up to its laws and emerge into a pure experience. Does it therefore follow that the ultimate "weapon of choice" is nothing less than total sublimation to the dance? In this essay I will

[cryptic-eccentric]

Oh my god we actually did it.

[xenosaurus]

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

[thelittleblackfox]

Also drink water and eat a plant

[liz-squids]

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

keep on not working for startups

sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that's okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don't burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again

it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it'll be

related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you ... well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive

knees are bastards too

don't even get me started on ankles

there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I'm sorry

one day you're gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you

on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about

never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up

[covington-shenanigans]

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

"loving yourself" is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on

this will happen incrementally - be patient

along those lines, if you haven't started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it

no, shut up. do it. "but it's haaaaard!" don't care. do it.

whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup

stretch regularly - your future self will thank you

at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced

this will be infuriating and annoying

otoh, most other things just... will not matter to you as much

at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like "eh" and deciding to stay in. this is okay.

you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care

but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you'll never be irrelevant

your company still doesn't love you - don't give them more than they pay you for

get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine

[atlinmerrick]

Just turned 60 and let me say:

Find joy, every kind, it's always worth it

I'm talking that massive, never-ending Discord chat with your bestie? The one that makes you giggle through the day? It's not a "waste of time," it's what time was made for

If that's fanfic for your favorite characters who never even met on screen celebrate that!

If that's building a tiny fleet of snake villagers for your snake town and they just cover your mantel hell yes!

If that's collecting pillows and making a fort of them every weekend I'll be right over

Feeling and sharing joy is the whole point

[cricketcat9]

This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼

Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.

[justsomeantifas]

call me ignorant but i genuinely don’t understand why sports have to be split up by gender.

[robobun]

@ everyone in the notes talking about physical performance: if that were the case, then sports would be divided by physical performance. that’s a thing you can measure. that’s a thing that varies by individual. a weak man and a strong man would be an unfair fight in boxing/wrestling/MMA, which is why they divide those sports up into weight groups based on physical performance. but they also further segregate them based on gender. chess is segregated by gender for no reason but sexism. if it’s actually about skill and physical ability, then measure those and separate people by those metrics. don’t do some bullshit gender segregation and pretend like men and women are inherently on different levels no matter their individual abilities.

[justsomeantifas]

💅

[aggrokawaii]

Remember that time a teenage girl struck out Babe Ruth? That’s fucking why. Men are afraid of being beaten by women.

[amuseoffyre]

Remember that time male swimmers were pulled out of training because Kate Ledecky was leaving them ‘broken’ by swimming better than them? Remember how she didn’t even notice, because she was busy actually training?

[notanadult]

Shooting is a sport that has no reliance on strength and so any allowance for gender variation is irrelevant. The last time there was a mixed competition (1992) a chinese woman named Zhang Shan won it.

[murderxbaby-deactivated20190102]

It’s often presented as for the benefit of women. After all, they’ll be heartbroken when they‘re hurt or bested by men.

Projection is a hell of a drug. 

[dick-graysons-left-butt-cheek]

[yungcrybby-anonymousbosch666]

this is why they drug test Serena like crazy. the believe no woman should be that good. let alone a black woman. and black women have always been considered “manly” and less feminine.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

also can we talk about how surfing is segregated as well? like how the dude who won this years international surfing cup or whatever was given $30,000 worth of prize money, while the woman who won the women’s comp was only awarded like $16,000 of prize money???? or whatever it was. but I know it was either half or less than half of what the man won. like why can’t they get the same prize money and when they’re competing internationally in the same competition? they surely have the same level of skill and talent.

[yungcrybby-anonymousbosch666]

the pay gap in sports between men and women is fucking insane.

[torukun1]

The pay gaps, not to mention lack of sponsorships for women athletes who don’t look like models is insane. If you weigh over 250 pounds, no one will sponsor you. It’s why most female Olympic-class weightlifters live in poverty/out of their cars.

[shipitbabyonemoretime]

[intersex-mhacha-deactivated2020]

Reminder that in international (and usually national too) womens athletics anybody with 5m/mol of natural testosterone or higher is disqualified. (See legal case of Dutee Chand vs IAAF.)

Do you or somebody you know have PCOS? You are banned from international womens athletics because you are supposedly in posession of an unreasonable advantage in sports.

Folks disqualified for hyper-androgenism in womens athletics.

Francine Niyonsaba

Caster Semenya

Dutee Chand

Margaret Wambui

And more

-

Why are those disqualified overwhelmingly black and brown? Because testing is case by case when an athletes performance “raises suspicions”. They overwhelmingly test athletes of colour, for being too fast and not meeting white expectations of femininity.

Racism and intersexism(discrimination against intersex people) in sports is abject evil. Desegregate sports.

[jeanjauthor]

All of this.

[annonymousp]

Oh, this some good stuff. I share to others 

[lov3rgrrrl]

ABSOTUTAFUCKINGLUTELY. I AM SO INCREDIBLY SICK OF EVERYONE REGARDING WOMEN AS INHERENTLY LESS THAN MEN. “THERE IS NO SEXISM IN BA SING SE” MY ASS

[catboybiologist]

Yup to all of this, especially the racism highlight

[sludgebones]

[two tumblr soldiers bleeding out on the internet frontlines]

“heh… remember strawbebby…. And ranibow spramkle… always made me laugh”

“Don’t talk like that man. We’re gonna get out of here i prommy.” [mortar fire sails overhead and land nearby] “christ its like a childrens hospital out there”

[through shallow breaths] “I always loved…… the color of the sky…………”

End scene

[digitaldiscipline]

[gallusrostromegalus]

Here we go again:)

[gallusrostromegalus]

We have Baby Bread Jesus.

This year's bread Jesus is...

Okay.

My Dad, who played Longinus in the Original 1969 Easter Mass Incident , is currently in the hospital with complications from prostate cancer. He'll probably be fine but that was a distressing phone call to wake up to.

My laptop is also broken- the hinge is warped and it can neither open nor close but instead is stuck at a 45 degree angle which is frankly, rude.

I've had insomnia for the last two weeks, mostly due to the General Enfuckening

So while my housemate who I just realized has never actually heard this story was nice enough to go get me the sugar, flour and yeast I did not have, the rest of the loaf is made of the contents of my depression kitchen, so we'll see how this goes.

But I've been thinking that we haven't burnt down the Galve Goat or done another large public sacrifice in a while, so I am going to give this my best efforts and then burn that motherfucker in honor of whoever the relevant entities are to fix some of this shit.

In fact, I highly recommend we all participate in some kind of ritualized burnt offering. It's a good day for it.

[gallusrostromegalus]

While we're waiting for The Sacrifice to rise, my therapy loaf is doing his job:

[gallusrostromegalus]

Baby got BIG!

[gallusrostromegalus]

He takes shape! Dad said it was very important that Bread Jesus has nipples.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Egg wash before he goes into the oven!

[gallusrostromegalus]

[gallusrostromegalus]

LOOK AT THIS CRUMB. EAT MY DICK PAUL HOLLYWOOD.

[gallusrostromegalus]

As promised, the sacrificial burning to unfuck the timeline.

[victorthecollector]

Happy Anniversary!!!!! Utena changed my life

[thedoubteriswise]

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

[utopians]

I think chat gpt is as lame as the next guy but it is really funny to see the anti-ai crowd rally to defend the sanctity and necessity of the human soul in the creation of work emails

[digitaldiscipline]

I know OP is clowning, but writing your own emails is good security.

I'll explain.

If you (generic) have a particular authorial voice or turn of phrase or greeting/sign-off, people will get to recognize "you" from your emails.

Someone trying to spoof an email or using AI? Won't have that.

They will sound, well, robotic. Like, even more generic than regular emails.

They won't sound like you.

I work in IT. I send a lot of emails. When a security test event included emails purportedly from me, everyone flipped out, because I don't sound like that. There were no emoticons, swear words (mild/implied), jokes, or trivia.

Suffice it to say, I got a lot of emails and basically nuked the training exercise without having to do anything.

Also, you shouldn't feed your business correspondence into a fucking spicy autocomplete machine, because that's wasteful and stupid.

[cassandrasimplex]