the hellsite records

30 and living in the land of oz. a pretentious crazy cat woman, miscellaneous music, the internet. i spend like 98% of my time on tumblr, and thus i have no social life and have become incredibly boring. wanna know more? click the "about me" button above this. and for considering followers: follow at your own risk.

[abbiistabbii]

OK so nobody is running in the Clacton By-Election because: 1. If Farage Loses, he avoids the investigation into his £5 million donation. 2. If Farage Wins, he will be investigated, found guilty, and forced to stand down, after which another by-election will happen where all the parties will run. Basically, they want Farage to not avoid being investigated. But one person is running, seemingly to Mock Farage: Count Binface. All of this leads to the possibility of an objectively hilarious scenario: Count Binface Wins the election.

[qqueenofhades]

[sniperct]

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

[somecunttookmyurl]

cannot express enough that the monster raving loony party exist purely as absurd satirists of party politics

their whole thing is having ridiculous policies that either make no sense or would be impossible to implement. they've never had anyone elected to parliament they're in it purely for the love of the game.

nonsense piss-take of politics is their whole purpose. and that's the people saying nigel farage's little temper tantrum by-election is too farcical

[somecunttookmyurl]

these guys. these guys think it's too much of a circus

[somecunttookmyurl]

post cancelled they might be sending someone down there after all

[somecunttookmyurl]

1.2k comments on this and seemingly every single one is some form of "don't send anyone. it's funnier if you don't"

can only hope they do in fact decide to not field a candidate

[yayxstitch]

The colors! This is Eastern Tale by Ekatarina Piotrovskaya.

[penny-anna]

what the hell is going on

[penny-anna]

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

[penny-anna]

Please god it would be so funny

[penny-anna]

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

[penny-anna]

for people out of the loop:

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

[butterflyslinky]

So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?

[penny-anna]

I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.

Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.

[penny-anna]

The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.

[ssjandtechno]

My favourite part of this so far is that, owing to the BBC's charter of neutrality, they have to interview Count Binface and his representatives (he has none) on equal terms to Farage. So he has appeared on a very serious, very straight laced British News Show.

The two 'earthlings' in this video, Justin Webb and Nick Robinson, are known for being impeccably well read and well researched, for giving politicians really harsh, uncomprimising interviews, for reporting unflinchingly on massacres of civillians in Gaza, Sudan, and Iran, for speaking truth to power. And today they interviewed Count Binface. There are two possible outcomes here: 1) Farage wins and his investigation by the commons standards comission gets immediately reopened (and there's a motion in parliament at the moment to continue the investigation while Farage isn't an MP, and of course he didn't turn up to argue his point), and we're back where we started, or 2) Farage loses to a fecking bin. And I'm honestly not sure which is funnier

[dragons-are-epic]

None of the other parties are running so it's genuinely going to be Farage vs Count Binface in the Clacton by-election.

[ratantics]

Count Binface oozes more confidence and charisma in this 52 second clip than Farage ever has in his entire life and I'm actually going to be genuinely upset if he doesn't win.

[apollos-archief]

the insta user who came up with "refuse reform: recycle" as a count binface slogan deserves a nobel prize btw

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

That's an incredible headline

[shortwaveradioenthusiast]

[kingedwardsapphires]

Me stepping out of the optometry office after slamming four lokos with the doctor and immediately meeting the love of my life (but I have social anxiety)

[solradguy]

Going to the library tomorrow to find out if I'm allowed to print hypothetical boobs for the GG copybook I wanna do

[solradguy]

Libraries don't fuck around when it comes to copyright law

[coyotebuegwater-deactivated2016]

[helltitty]

australian mutuals what are they saying

[eggzaki]

josh wants to steal it and use it to deal speed

[helltitty]

josh is making wise business moves and i respect him

[jmdj]

I saw these things driving around LA and my first thought was some enterprising drug dealer could dress up a remote control ice chest up to look just like one of these things and deal drugs in broad daylight and no one would be the wiser

[virtualgirladvance]

so hows it going josh, kids doing okay?

[veryluckyclovers]

[imifos]

stab scene intimacy coordinator

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP is bathing his pet pig, relaxing and healing. (cr 小弟的猪)

[stillfuckingtired]

Brain fog is not an adequate descriptor, actually. Fog can be kinda nice and beautiful and ethereal and refreshing. The thing we’re describing is more like a brain BOG; everything moves slow like you’re wading through water, it’s clunky and heavy and you keep getting stuck in the mud. It’s uncomfortable and inconvenient and everything takes so much effort. You lost a shoe, probably.

[batbetbitbotbut]

@scribefindegil

[storm-of-feathers]

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary