the hellsite records

30 and living in the land of oz. a pretentious crazy cat woman, miscellaneous music, the internet. i spend like 98% of my time on tumblr, and thus i have no social life and have become incredibly boring. wanna know more? click the "about me" button above this. and for considering followers: follow at your own risk.

[vamptits]

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

[vamptits]

I'm having my first 24/7 dom/sub relationship with the entirety of the fucking sun

[vashti-lives]

It occurred to me today that you can use Miyazaki films as a really quick way to explain the difference between urban/modern fantasy and magical realism.

Kiki’s Delivery Service: takes place in the regular world— albeit at some nebulous point in time— but also magic is real and witches are a thing. Witches exist in this world because it’s fun and we like them. It’s fantasy elements in a familiar setting— essentially urban or modern fantasy.

Porco Rosso: takes place in an extremely specific place and time and contains exactly one fantastical element— Marco’s pig head— which is never given an explanation and is never questioned as a biological impossibility. It’s clearly a metaphor and commentary on a real world issue but it’s also very much literal. This dude 100% has a pig head. No other mentions of magic are made. This is magical realism.

This story brought to you by the fact that I’ve never seen a fanfic on ao3 tagged magical realism that wasn’t actually modern fantasy.

[redstonedust]

Cat is a small Heated Object you can put on your Lap for Winter Comfort.

[kleinergeist]

Human is a large Heated Object you can Loaf on for Winter Comfort

[tokidokifish]

fig. 1

[gremlininho]

A butternut woollyworm ♡

[tartrazeen]

@ahasiw-okitowin 💖

[b0nkcreat]

these fucking comments i got mystomach hurts oh my god help me

[howtofuckyourkramer]

Lala Bingle sent you $10 for yummy sneats

[rockabillywife]

The water fountain when you’re thirsty af is definitely a top 5 place to publicly debase yourself

[amrv-5]

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

[nightonblogmountain]

[everythingfox]

Bilingual

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

no music 🐔

[depsidase]

seeing these two posts directly one after the other on bluesky is so funny cuz it makes it clear that establishment dems care more about the left side of their party gaining traction than the literal pedo rapist fascist robbing their fucking country and fucking up the world economy. y'all gotta get these snivelling centrists out of the democratic party cuz its obscenely obvious they don't work for their constituents. they've been showing that they are just fine with trump and fascism until they need to use that shit to convince people to vote for them.

[kharrneth]

[papasmoke]

I like how every leader of the UK resigns in disgrace and humiliation now

[abbiistabbii]

OK so nobody is running in the Clacton By-Election because: 1. If Farage Loses, he avoids the investigation into his £5 million donation. 2. If Farage Wins, he will be investigated, found guilty, and forced to stand down, after which another by-election will happen where all the parties will run. Basically, they want Farage to not avoid being investigated. But one person is running, seemingly to Mock Farage: Count Binface. All of this leads to the possibility of an objectively hilarious scenario: Count Binface Wins the election.

[qqueenofhades]

[sniperct]

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

[somecunttookmyurl]

cannot express enough that the monster raving loony party exist purely as absurd satirists of party politics

their whole thing is having ridiculous policies that either make no sense or would be impossible to implement. they've never had anyone elected to parliament they're in it purely for the love of the game.

nonsense piss-take of politics is their whole purpose. and that's the people saying nigel farage's little temper tantrum by-election is too farcical

[somecunttookmyurl]

these guys. these guys think it's too much of a circus

[somecunttookmyurl]

post cancelled they might be sending someone down there after all

[somecunttookmyurl]

1.2k comments on this and seemingly every single one is some form of "don't send anyone. it's funnier if you don't"

can only hope they do in fact decide to not field a candidate

[yayxstitch]

The colors! This is Eastern Tale by Ekatarina Piotrovskaya.

[penny-anna]

what the hell is going on

[penny-anna]

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

[penny-anna]

Please god it would be so funny

[penny-anna]

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

[penny-anna]

for people out of the loop:

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

[butterflyslinky]

So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?

[penny-anna]

I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.

Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.

[penny-anna]

The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.

[ssjandtechno]

My favourite part of this so far is that, owing to the BBC's charter of neutrality, they have to interview Count Binface and his representatives (he has none) on equal terms to Farage. So he has appeared on a very serious, very straight laced British News Show.

The two 'earthlings' in this video, Justin Webb and Nick Robinson, are known for being impeccably well read and well researched, for giving politicians really harsh, uncomprimising interviews, for reporting unflinchingly on massacres of civillians in Gaza, Sudan, and Iran, for speaking truth to power. And today they interviewed Count Binface. There are two possible outcomes here: 1) Farage wins and his investigation by the commons standards comission gets immediately reopened (and there's a motion in parliament at the moment to continue the investigation while Farage isn't an MP, and of course he didn't turn up to argue his point), and we're back where we started, or 2) Farage loses to a fecking bin. And I'm honestly not sure which is funnier