the hellsite records

30 and living in the land of oz. a pretentious crazy cat woman, miscellaneous music, the internet. i spend like 98% of my time on tumblr, and thus i have no social life and have become incredibly boring. wanna know more? click the "about me" button above this. and for considering followers: follow at your own risk.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

just got an email from indeed saying that one of the jobs ive applied for this last week is probs a scam or a fake job. great. but it does seem scammy since theyve asked that if i can contacted on whatsapp

[herpsandbirds]

Northern Red Salamander (Pseudotriton r. ruber), family Plethodontidae, NJ, USA

photograph by James Adams

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

Hey sis ❤️, I hope this doesn’t come off as me bothering you. I didn’t come to you by accident. If you’re open to it, can I tell you what I sensed?

yeah, of course! feel free to tell me what you sensed from my blog!

[chryza]

TikTok is a fundamentally evil app however the reason i use it is because you occasionally stumble across gems like the Chinese power transformer manufacturer who posts kawaii edits of their power transformers

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

I was looking at a funny little toy, mayhaps as a treat for myself, and I saw "stress relief pig" in the listing title and started laughing to myself, my stress relief pig... Users of this website who shall remain unnamed have altered my view of the humble swine into a beast to be laughed at... #MyStressReliefPig

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

Yes this is about him, of course it's about him, hashtag the people's stretch pig

[breakbeatbun]

pretty sure i've seen this thing getting the shitt beat out of him. pretty sure he's not alive anymore.

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

That's not true he can't be. He has to be alive. You're lying because you want to see me cry. He is full of sand and like a brother to me. He has to live.

[laterkiss]

we could have a disgusting thing going on if you want

[atrenchcoatfilledwithbees]

“I asked ChatGPT —”

Okay well I asked the picture of Michael Jackson in my pocket and he told me to get the fries with my burger soooo

[mcschnuggles]

[baynton]

[ontopofgravity]

I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

[teakayblog]

Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”

[auspiciousleader]

Happy 10th anniversary to Fortify

[aquiraxuno]

‘Precious opal fossilized wood’ on ebay 

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Honestly, when I first read it, I thought that word was shit, too.

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

and not to bring my own clocky bitch ass into this but if cis women weren’t so consistently starved their entire lives you’d see a lot more cis women with the kind of bodies that we currently associate closely with trans women. the amount that the standards of feminine presentation are culturally defined by malnutrition is crazy

[porkue-deactivated20240304]

Him: "yeah arch that back for me baby"

My back-pain having ass trying my best:

[pangur-and-grim]

things I’ve noticed in the UK:

- when you’re jay walking, cars will actively accelerate bc the drivers want to kill you for breaking the rules

- servers in restaurants act very scared and apologetic, so maybe people aren’t nice to them here??? or I could be terrifying

- it’s really cute when little kids have British accents, but I’m unmoved by adults with accents

- extremely good gluten free options. this country is like 20 years ahead of Canada in that regard

- people will give random insignificant buildings names with little plaques. and then that’s the name that shows up on the map. like even a smaller than average family home, you can name it like it’s a dog

- lots of brick and stone buildings. looks cute and charming until you enter one and there’s no air conditioning

- people are still wearing jaguar print. I like this. don’t let it die

[pangur-and-grim]

ohhh okay! amendment: cars will actively try to kill you for being small and made of flesh, instead of cool and metal like them

[ralfmaximus]

Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.

And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.

A website of tiny ceramic frogs.

Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.

I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.

“This is your website?” I asked finally.

“Yep!”

“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.

“Yep!”

“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”

“I made those too,” he says, beaming. 

And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.

“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”

It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team. 

And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.

[charlesoberonn]

Bureaucracy is good and important, actually.

Except for the spelling of the word "bureaucracy"