A play by play reaction of the live-action FMA movie: because I hate myself and also you.
Oh good. It has English dubs. So it'll be a delight for both the eyes and ears.
Mama Elric dies from hugs.
NO CHARACTERIZATION. ONLY PLOT.
If I hadn't read the manga, I'd be totally lost. And because I read the manga, I know it's bad. Who was this for?
There are many female voice actors that can do convincing young boy voices. These... are not those actors.
Why is Father Cornello running around a clearly empty city?
I keep expecting Edward's discount bin Spirit Halloween wig to fly off.
The only people trying are the CGI animators.
Alphonse has said nothing and done nothing because animation is expensive.
And cover up the metal arm! Quickly! Before we have to figure out how to do a good effect!
Suddenly the town is filled with people.
Why... is he arresting Edward?
The philosopher's stone is clearly red plastic.
Remeber how I said the animators were trying? I take that back. Al's animator is very drunk.
WHY IS WINRY IN LIORE?! What the fuck?
How are we in East City?! It's miles away. Did we teleport?!
And why is Edward's dialogue so muffled? Was it being recorded through a pillow? No one else's is this bad.
They ditched Al in Leore so they wouldn't have to animate him.
Damn. These characters really do telelort at the speed of plot.
Ok. Points where they're due: Hughes' actor seems good and the shadow of Gluttony eating someone is very intimidating.
Winry is a brunette. Which wouldn't be weird except that they put so much non-effort into making Ed blonde.
This would probably be great if it were, say, a comic book, or an animated TV show.
Truth: How'd you like it? Ed's actor: Well, it's a paycheck.
After they transmuted their mom, Edward turned into his teenage actor, because the little kids can't act.
"This house is huge" *doesn't show house.*
Anime Shou Tucker looked kinda creepy, but possibly friendly. This Shou Tucker is just some sleepy dude.
Mustang and Hughes walk down Generic Path of Exposition. Screw creativity, we pray to the ALMIGHTY PLOT.
Again: Why is Winry here?
I like how Ed just ditches his brother anytime the director thinks the budget is getting too big.
They got the most wooden VAs for like half the characters. And the shittiest microphone for the main character!
You know what the original story was missing? GOD DAMNED HYPNOSIS. THE LAZIEST TROPE.
Winry is the real main character. She does things and Edward/Alphonse follow blindly.
Edward's metal hand makes a very fleshy sound when slapped against the table.
A man died in front of us and we found the secret to the stone. Next scene!
CGI dog Nina looks like Snuffaluffagus.
This scene was creepier when hand drawn.
Now that Winry has been so firmly established as the third Elric Brother, it's weirder when she's not around.
Okay, when the classic dialogue from the series is delivered without the emotional context of the story, it's suddenly very silly and emo.
Edward is studying. Alphonse is sitting, trying to move as little as possible.
God bless you, Maes Hughes, the best part of the movie.
Seriously, he's mostly on point. Everyone else can go to hell.
Ah yes, Laboratory #5, a totally safe place for Winry to be. Man, it was such a cool place in the real story. Here? Just an empty building. Then again, we can't figure out how to animate one armor, how would we do three?
Oh no, the brothers are fighting for no reason. If only there was emotional weight.
"It hurts to see you hurt." Bitch, it hurts to hear you speak.
Yeah, where's East City on that map, Hughes? Is it two feet away from Leore? No?
Remember when Envy transforms into Hughes' wife before killing him and how that was real imactful? They set that up by having him drop the photo, but then Envy turns into MUSTANG.
Tucker lives. It was stupid when the '03 series did it and it's stupid now.
Envy looks like he styled his hair with crude oil.
This movie's so LOOOOOOOOONG.
The shadow of Gluttony eating people looked good. The actual CGI... is grossly unfinished.
Shou Tucker tries and fails to be the main villain. It's almost cute.
Oh god. The cyclopse dolls animate like Going To The Store. This just looks silly.
Alphonse: I can't move my body. Animators: Oh. How convenient.
Oh yeah. Riza Hawkeye exists.
Aw, now that the movie's over they're trying to wring emotions out of every person's single character trait.
A bright light started shining on the cast and I prayed they were about to get hit by a train. Nope. It was the sun, rising on a new day.