sources are saying ohhhhhhhhh brother

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@castlesinchaos
sources are saying ohhhhhhhhh brother
and i do think shane's best friends should both be men of color. next
nothing against rose, or shane's other friends, but i do think it's tired how people look at shane's move to ottawa..the biggest professional transition of his life, and the first real chance he's had to become more himself....and still insist his closest friend is either a white man buried under an expanding army of children or a white hollywood starlet who realistically facetimes him, what, once a month? other than giving him the push he needed, they don't actually have that much in common..
it's just so much more interesting to me that this period of self-actualization would also make him reckon with hey, i'm thirty now. i'm finally far enough removed from all the hazing & bullshit that came with being the Only One playing white-man hockey in the OHL/juniors/fuckass nowhere canada. why wouldn't that change the kinds of friendships he gravitates toward? why wouldn't he end up really close with this burly sweetheart trinidadian king who loves barbecuing & is an impressive first-line vet w zero hero worship of him, or maybe even rebuild things with jj who should be closer to shane than hayden all things considered...
i don't know. that version of shane feels a lot more compelling to me than pretending the emotional center of his life has to stay exactly where it was at twenty-three
right after the first hookup, when shane is like, "...that was....", and ilya gives this really fucking nuanced laugh and warm, "yes. yes." 😭😭😭
is suuuuuuuch a perfect encapsulation of sharing your first euphoric queer experience with someone and them acknowledging how big it was without making a big deal abt it. acknowledging it outloud in the world while keeping you safe in the desire and reflection: i see you, i felt it, it was real, it is beyond words, it is life changing, it is that intense, you did feel it, it was real!!! it was real. i was here with you. i held you tight and made sure you knew your desire was good, was right, was fun, was beautiful, was revelatory, was made to be received and reciprocated and explored and you are good. you are good !!!
thinking also abt shane post-outing having to relearn how to be a guy in public who isn't performing straightness 24/7 and just. being SO bad at casual. like his whole personality pre-fanmail was "polite but distant, disciplined, unknowable" and now he doesn't have to hide anything and he has NO IDEA what a normal amount of hand-on-ilya's-back is in public. :') which is sorta sweet but also oaughhhh
so he’s just standing in a grocery store like: is 2 minutes of hand on ilya’s back normal or is that insane. is that nothing. is that divorce behavior. & then two aisles later he’s just absentmindedly mouthing at ilya’s throat in the cereal section like they’re back in a marriott at 1am and someone’s uber is outside in six minutes and they r running out of time again even though they’re not
every instinct he has for affection....finite & filthy...bc that's all they ever had. his body doesn't know what to do with the surplus lol (let's all cry). thus no in btwn.
crucially ilya finds this hilarious & hot and does not comment. yay shane being unhinged plsplsplspls
fixed it.
THE BEAR 5.06
[shane voice] ok so i'm the pool boy and you're the older property owner who likes to ogle me while sipping lemonade
[ilya voice] with a little umbrella?
[shane voice] of course with a fucking umbrella. anyway
If we're gonna invite people in our home, we are gonna look like a fucking family.
1920s guy driving a model t with a "i bought this before ford went crazy" bumper sticker
Incorrect Heated Rivalry quotes 8/?
her heart is too tiny for so much love:(!!!
annoying her dad the way she has to!!
My favorite element of romance is the end of the “honeymoon” period where you’re gross in front of your partner and they show they still love you anyway
So yeah, the first time Ilya is just down and out gross in front of Shane he gets one of those hard and fast stomach bugs that hits out of nowhere. One minute he’s waking up in bed feeling kind of off, and then he’s sprinting to the bathroom and doesn’t fully make it to the toilet before puking
Now, given his upbringing, I would imagine he was raised in a house where, if that happened when he was growing up, he got scolded while sick and told it was his job to clean it up. So he’s feeling awful, throwing up, thinking that Shane’s gonna be annoyed and he’ll have to clean it quick because Shane doesn’t like mess
But Shane, raised in a supportive household, sees this and just quietly grabs paper towels. Ilya takes a second to lift his head and sees Shane cleaning up the floor. Ilya tries to say that he’ll get it and it’s fine but Shane just tells him not to worry and he can’t argue because he has to throw up again
A big wad of gross paper towels land in the garbage and then Shane is gently rubbing his back and saying soft soothing things about how he knows it’s miserable and he’s sorry Ilya is feeling this way but he promises that once everything is out Ilya will start to feel better. And Ilya is kneeling in front of a toilet, puking, covered in clammy sweat, and is hands down the least sexy he has ever been in Shane’s presence
When the dry heaving is done Shane makes sure he can stand on his own and lets him brush his teeth while he goes and gets something. Ilya is surprised he’s allowed back into bed being sweaty and gross and not sent to the couch, but Shane gets him down and settled, puts a Gatorade on the nightstand for him, wipes his face with a damp cloth, and then sits down and strokes his sweaty hair until Ilya falls asleep, curled up on his side with his face pressed to Shane’s thigh
He spends the next day sleeping, eating toast, rehydrating, and getting spooned by Shane until he feels ok enough for a shower where Shane washes his hair for him, telling stories about times he was sick growing up
And after all the romantic confessions, sex, sensual moments and deep conversations they’ve had up until then, the most loved Ilya has ever felt is when Shane gives him one of his shirts to sleep in before laying down with him in the half dried sweaty sheets, with another Gatorade on the nightstand that is Ilya’s favorite flavor he’s pretty sure he only mentioned once, realizing as he drifts off that Shane has not done any of his usual daily routine in order to take care of Ilya and keep him company while getting nothing in return but the knowledge that it will make Ilya feel better
ilya 11 vodka redbulls deep at the club search history
How defend self from horse
Horse self-defense technique
Horse self-defense technique advanced
Defeat ancient horse technology
Hatman real or fake
Is killing horses illegal
Killing horse in self-defense legal yes ir no
[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next
does anyone know how to talk to girls