ok situationship era shane trying to figure out what kind of man he even likes, accidentally stumbling onto a truism about himself via his crush on carter vaughn ok walk with me
I mentioned it in my tags on this post but I am just thinking more about shane crushing on carter, at first just because, yeah he's obviously attractive and he's got a nice warmth about him, and then on top of that, carter reveals himself to be maybe...understanding of the queer experience? supportive and sympathetic?
it's such a stark contrast to how any other hockey player he's encountered in his life talks about gay people and shane's never really experienced real allyship up close like that and so now he just feels so safe whenever carter is around, and that safety is enough to maybe make him a little fond - or ok, a lot fond. ok yeah, he may or may not have a bit of a crush on carter vaughn.
carter's not gay, shane, he's just a nice guy, he tells himself, but then the other part of his brain, the part that's still so lonely and isolated and closeted wants to believe that maybe, maybe carter might be...but no, no of course not. it's just nice to think about. he likes him because carter is nice to him, that's all.
anyway, his fantasies about carter always fall a little flat whenever he remembers that carter is a nice guy. somehow his horny daydreams about carter vaughn and his warm smile and his probably gentle hands are always interrupted by the thought of another set of hands, belonging to a certain russian man, rough and hungry and strong; another smile, not warm, but cocky and sinful and sexy.
so yeah, he has a crush on carter. he's a nice guy. unfortunately, shane is still coming to terms with the fact that, when it comes to how he'd like to be fucked, he's not exactly interested in nice.
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