heyyy @symphoniccowboy - Tumblr Blog

‘This is the kid with the highest hockey IQ’

for the first three months that Ilya has snapchat he genuinely believes that the photo disappears forever for everyone until the next time he sees svetlana and she shows him the screenshot she took of something he posted and he has a flashback of everything he’s posted and then - and this is crucial - does not change his snap habits at all

iwrotemrtambourineman

snaps ilya posted to his story:

photo of him and marly in g-strings

multiple speedometer pictures, all while driving and all over the speed limit

club selfies with svetlana and like every fifth one you can see that they definitely just did key bumps

video of him downing a big mac in like 35 seconds while the raiders call him disgusting in the background

a million sweaty gym selfies

video of burning rozanov jerseys outside centre bell with the caption “thank you montreal for selling out my jersey 💯”

iwrotemrtambourineman

a video taken by cliff of ilya taking a fat rip off of a truly bulky vape rig, trying to say “cotton” before blowing it out and instead choking and coughing so hard he throws up

200+ selfies of him with the stanley cup in various states of drunkenness and undress

dick pic accidentally posted to his story. it is the only story of his he’s deleted. followed by a black screen that say “whoops 😜 no peaking 😈”

video of him and svetlana doing ossetra caviar bumps

selfie with his tongue out with the caption “don’t need a filter to have a long tongue 😏🐶👅” notibly followed by a video making all the raiders use the dog filter

#REALLY GOOD ADDITIONS .#heated rivalry

my underboob sweat & swamp ass are what make me…. Me 🥰🤩🤸‍♀️💖

angelicdewdrop

cuppydogshane

literally after that first time shane is Haunted by the knowledge that no orgasm he has will ever feel as good on his own bc of the absence of Really Heavy Man On Top Of Him Kissing Him While It Happens lol

cuppydogshane

he literally loves his Big Sexy Man.......

#shanes like why would i get a weighted blanket when i could have Big Sexy Man……#heated rivalry

hudconvent

wheres that post that said shane hollander would be mentioned by name in a drake song

hudconvent

all my bitches come in threes like a hat trick

like the metros, hollander on the mattress

hudconvent

(yuna hollander on voicemail) hey sweetie its mom. sorry i missed you. though its 8:30 and you should be home by now. anyways give me a call back when you can. theres this guy Drake that just mentioned you in his new song. seems like a pretty big deal, canadian too. just take a listen to it when you get a chance. nothing bad. i actually think it could be quite good for your image. im trying to get in touch with his manager to see if he’ll let you be in the music video. unless youd rather send a cease and desist in which case i’ve got patty on speed dial if thats the route youd rather go. your father says hi. anyways, love you. call me back. bye.

#im so glad we can acknowledge the truth of hollanov which is that they are involved with drake .#heated rivalry

stuckinapril

“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.

#must return to my New Year’s resolution of fuglymaxxing #DO IT MESSY DO IT FUCKING UGLYYYYYY JUST DO ITTTTTT