Satiated by the chaos in my head.

When I grow up, I want to live in the woods with lots of dogs but that's not what I'm going to school for.

[casualslops]

we are mountains

New lives climb under old lights Towards a hazy peak Handfuls precious stones and soft moss Find an earthy bed yet again I don't remember when I dropped them But I know why I entangled our fingers

[casualslops]

And the one that you are so sure of says nothing at all. all the while you float down her watery path, sometimes even swim with the current. If fatigue starts to nibble at your fingertips while you're body thrashes through wet mirrors (7 years bad luck?) or contorts with dancing baths sliding through dust and dirt you'll know one day that your hands aren't enough, your flesh isn't satisfying and your head has nowhere to sit because indifference ate and was made bloated and lazy at your expense. If you ever stop swimming to look around and see where you actually are, see that the dirt under you is sparkling in the sun and the grass looks up to you like a small child looks to his mother for approval; you'll already be just as good as drowned. Youre not strong enough to keep your head above water, only enough to flail your limbs as fast as your nerves can talk. When you know that, are you strong enough to breathe in deep?

[casualslops]

break a leg

I thought I could sink my teeth into something and get a taste of something Well, it looks like I fell into something

[casualslops]

sleeping minus the dreams

If someone's up there looking down on me, Watching me, Then im embarrassed of all these disgusting things I've been doing. That's a lie. The only way I could care less is if I stopped wishing that I cared. But then where would all my discontent and frustration stem from? What ugly, disfigured roots are giving way to my contorted branches and dead leaves?

[stuffmomnevertoldyou]

A Brief Pictorial History of Women in Construction

[casualslops]

Dissociated

I'm not worried about finding out which one is real because the truth is generic overplayed throughout and then reconstructed after that again and again As I watch myself from across the room I only wonder which one is mine What I am, I can't be too sure Because I've stared my reflection into distortion And then I let you color the mirrors gray, gray, and grayer

[casualslops]

this is so corny dont bother

I'm sorry I'm too greedy, too selfish, too young to care enough. Everything that happened was precious. I can't even think of the worst of it as a bad thing. I hope I was there for you when you needed me. Don't ever worry about being inconvenient to me, about intruding, about being rude, about annoying me. It doesn't matter, because for you I forget myself. I wouldn't even know what that meant if you'd never shown me. You'll always have the front seat in my car. I'll never let you sleep on the floor. I would regret it if I picked you second. I miss you but I can't change myself and I can't ask you not to be what you are. I know you for you, not for you're hobbies and tastes and stories. Call me if you ever find that you're letting yourself fade away, because I'll always have you here as vivid as I can keep you. I wish I wasn't just a girl. I want to do more for you, more than giving you what you want

[casualslops]

when doge jumps up on couch to sit with you

[casualslops]

who cares

[casualslops]

[casualslops]

a lot of words about nothing

There's a recurring conciousness that seeps into my dreams night after night. I'm soft and fleshy, and stood upright by a frame that is only strong in comparison. I lay in a universe that's opening wide, but my senses are too dim to grant me any evidence of where I am. But, still, I stay there. I have a friend who doesnt. He's just as real as I am, I pretend to see him in the dark and he listens to my stories until I fall asleep. I don't have much to tell him because I've forgotton most of it. When I wake up it's midday and i'm still in bed even though I could've sworn i was falling down. I could've slept through the fall like i usually do, evading the awkward transition and waking up white. But, my muscles pulled away from my bones so unnaturally that any likeness of organic rest was pulled out of my being. It's a sensation that demands recognition and me, being to feeble to decline, respectfully writhe in the flecks of sunshine haphazardly scattered on my bedsheets. I can't call him because he already left. and she, she offers me something so obscure I write it off as nothing. This struggle bears no fruit aside from relief sweated out by my palms but I don't mind. I taught myself to crave rotten meat when I learned a thing and two. I was just curious and now I think that wasn't reason enough. There where days I would stir him into another dream just in time for him to show me what morning was. I learned what today was and how it was different from yesterday, different from the perpetual gray waters I peacefully floated in earlier. We stood on beaches and mythologized the clouds, vague and indistinct from one another despite the old sand between our toes. I knew he had already seen that same sky from the mountaintops and that these musings weren't as profound to him as they where to me. I'm sorry this doesn't make sense but this is how I say the things I don't want to talk about.

[tomorrowandbeyond]

[casualslops]

nyc bronx line

[casualslops]

I'll show you mine

I read you my book of tricks The one with the rotted binding I let a loose page fall out here and there But you're still intested Now it's your turn You point out one dog eared page I wouldn't have noticed Did you write a paragraph about me On that expensive kind of stationary It smells like fresh ink I know it won't easily fade Into the illedgible gray that reminds me of everthing And I feel bad

[casualslops]

I drew a thing but I smudged it:(

[casualslops]

[kuckeikokain-deactivated2016102]

Drafts | Tumblr on We Heart It.