Stop, Drop, and Escape Reality @categoryfivehurricane - Tumblr Blog

Cat loaf

notreewaits-deactivated20200806

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

llywela13

I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself

I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!

the-memedaddy

toastbutteregg

IF YOU MISS SOMEONE JUST GO TELL THEM

IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY HEARING THAT SOMEONE THOUGHT OF YOU, THEN DO IT TOO

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY

MAKE SOMEONE FEEL LOVED

MAKE SOMEONE FEEL APPRECIATED

saltrat88

killin-the-machine

These people went from lifting chips to pulling off some action movie shit

summer-rose-isms

Chaotic good

darlingsterns

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave”

darlingsterns

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

roman-sunshine

Beetles compromise 25% of all animal species. That means 1 in 4 animals is probably a beetle. Is it you? Is it your best friend? How can you be sure?

official-canadianjesus

Ringo could be living in your backyard without you even knowing

diary-of-a-chinese-kid

extremelycursedimages-moved

extremely blessed image

stupidpunk

supreme champion…. of my heart

just-shower-thoughts

If humans are at the top of the food chain, cannibals are a step above

officialinternet

bad1dimagines

turdy seven

burgertv

tangynectarine

Me when i look back and think of all the lame guys i crushed heavy on and made bigger deals out of just because i was bored

greelin

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”