How Misogyny Forged the Dance of the Dragons | House of the Dragon Series
After a long time—and two seasons later—I decided to put myself through both the displeasure and pleasure of watching House of the Dragon. The reason I say “displeasure” is because of how vividly graphic the series is in its violence and abuse, mostly against women. Yes, the series depicts the brutal deaths of men, but it’s how it displays women—as objects and tools for men—that stands out. And it doesn’t hide it. The story literally revolves around two women, both mothers, who begin as childhood friends and end up on opposing sides of a war for the Iron Throne.
I did watch Game of Thrones, and the throne melting into a puddle was the best ending for the franchise. It was the symbol of power that so many craved—the reason countless lives ended brutally and without remorse. It tore apart families, turned friends into enemies, and planted dangerous ideas. It wasn’t the throne itself; it was the meaning behind it. It became the center of attraction for the worst kind of souls.
Before I get into the nitty-gritty of this post, I have to talk about the ignitor that started it all in House of the Dragon—the one responsible for the downfall of many family lines: Ser Otto Hightower. He is proof that reason and logic can be just as corrupted as irrationality.
Otto is a self-serving man. He may be well-spoken and a grieving husband, but that’s the deceiving part of his character. His intention from day one was to ensure the rift between Viserys and Daemon expanded. Otto may have served three kings, but that’s the problem. He had his daughter with him at King’s Landing and placed her near Princess Rhaenyra. I didn’t have to see it to know he planted Alicent like a pawn. The moment she walked into his office and he told her to comfort King Viserys after the death of the queen—specifying what she should wear, even mentioning her mother’s green gown—I knew he was making her look enticing for the king to get her into position. I see this series as a chessboard, and the characters are chess pieces. Otto treats his daughter like a chess piece to move into position. Alicent is the well-groomed chess piece. Naive and anxious. She destroys her fingers. That's a tic from distress.
However, despite the suffering that comes along, Alicent does what she’s told without objection. She’s the embodiment of a compliant girl—obedient, submissive, and self-suppressing. She clings to dignity, righteousness, and the rigid morality of what a lady’s role should be. She often uses the word sacrifice to challenge Rhaenyra, because Rhaenyra is her opposite. Rhaenyra represents everything Alicent envies and feels compelled to condemn through the ideals she clings to.
Rhaenyra desires freedom from her roles. She doesn’t want marriage; she enjoys wearing pants, carrying a blade, and exploring the wild. As an adult, she says that if she were born a man, she would have been handed a sword the moment she could hold one. She says it often: “If I were born a man instead of a woman.” When she escapes the castle with her uncle, she relishes the freedom. As a lady, she’s always guarded—like a caged bird. She wants to lie with whomever she chooses, without consequence. Men can be physical with whoever they want, and no one bats an eye. But women are expected to maintain their virtue—essentially, their virginity.
When Rhaenyra chooses to indulge in physical affection and abandon her “virtuous” duty, Alicent spirals into judgment and shame toward her childhood friend. I don’t blame Rhaenyra for not being honest with her, because Alicent married into the family. The day Viserys declared Alicent his next wife, their trust fractured. Rhaenyra wasn’t naïve—she knew Alicent had been placed before the king by Otto’s design. Once Alicent became queen, Rhaenyra couldn’t trust her with secrets or her true self. Even though she missed her childhood friend, she kept her distance. That’s why she lied about the brothel and didn’t reveal she lost her virginity to Ser Criston Cole.
Cole is the perfect reflection of Alicent’s blinding righteousness. Both represent moral superiority twisted by guilt. Cole killed Laenor’s knight and lover after realizing he was the one Rhaenyra cared for, becuase they were trying to figure out who. However, when Rhaenyra rejected Cole's self-serving marriage proposal, he spiraled—losing all honor and reason. His shame for breaking his vow of chastity turned into hatred. Instead of blaming himself, he blamed Rhaenyra. Because he had to work his way up—thanks to Rhaenyra—he let guilt guide his reason. When she married Laenor, which was a lavender marriage, he saw her as the root of all evil. He calls her a spider and treats her children cold with spite.
I feel so bad for Rhaenyra, who should have left King’s Landing after her first child was born. Her family endured endless scrutiny, yet she never reduced herself to Alicent’s level.
Ser Otto Hightower sowed countless misconceptions into Alicent—convincing her that Rhaenyra would kill her children, which never crossed Rhaenyra’s mind. Every misconception fueled Alicent’s behavior. Even her mishearing of Viserys’s dying words led her to justify her actions. And who killed one of Rhaenyra’s children first? Aemond. Alicent’s second son killed Luke. Her firstborn, Aegon, assaults servants, and she doesn’t see that her sons are cruel while Rhaenyra’s are better men. Aemond lost his eye because of his own cruelty and stole a dragon during mourning. Alicent’s sons embody entitlement—the twisted version of her righteousness.
Eventually, all the misconceptions her father had planted came crashing down. Otto was exiled from King’s Landing by his own grandson—a fitting end for a man who calculated his family’s climb to power. His decisions were biased, favoring entitled male behavior over women’s autonomy. Even with Daemon, he failed to grasp that a woman’s life in society carries dire consequences for wanting agency. Alicent constantly framed Rhaenyra as someone to be downgraded and removed from the path to the throne, still playing into her father’s ideals.
She, too, sinned—ashamed of enjoying her desires with Ser Criston Cole, the same knight who deceives himself constantly. I honestly want that character gone; I’m tired of hearing him speak and act. Everything he does shows how blind people become to their own biases. He’s not a poorly written character—he’s doing his job well, making me despise him. That’s the point. Cole represents how dangerously blind someone can become when they focus all their hate on someone who simply wants freedom—to make her own choices, not to be judged so harshly.
In the end, Rhaenyra will die because of the misconceptions others uphold, because she became the vessel for their shame, guilt, and mistakes. Alicent only heard a prophecy—one word, “Aegon”—and that was enough. No thinking, no questioning. Deep down, she always wanted the throne. She wanted a reason to take Rhaenyra’s inheritance. Deep down, she wanted to destroy her childhood friend. All she needed was one word to justify her darkness.
Alicent represents the woman who acts as the pillar upholding misconceptions that keep men in power.
Rhaenys was the queen who never was—but she would have made a good ruler with her chosen consort rather than Viserys. Why? Because Ser Otto Hightower would have never been the Hand. Rhaenys' husband would most likely have been her Hand. Even she recognized that all she would inherit was a burden. Corlys would’ve inherited that burden too.
Viserys allowed the people around him to divide him and his brother. The people around them wanted that division. Viserys tried to break the cycle by supporting a woman’s claim, his daughter and first child, to the throne and removing gender as a limitation. Alicent and her family made that transition harder, costing many lives. And whose fault is it? Her father’s—Ser Otto Hightower’s. By upholding his ideals, Alicent became responsible for the deaths of her children, grandchildren, Rhaenyra’s family, and the realm itself.
I hope people see how structures divide women and prevent women from helping each other. Mostly, I hope people understand that Alicent was shaped by her father, and all her fears and misconceptions were sown by him. The enemy of Westeros is the Hightower family line. It caused the war in the first place. And I saw how each step led to that war. And it led to the death of an innocent woman caught in the middle of it. Yes, Rhaenyra is the victim of everyone in this series. She pays the price with her own life and family because of old ideals and the pursuit of power.
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