Tell me something sweet to get me by.

They call me Mak

[gibberishquestion]

listen this is the fucking funniest garfield strip. you just can't top this one i'm sorry

[tendernotion]

being in your 20’s is like “if I can just get through this week I’ll be ok” but every fucking week

[12345675432132345643-deactivate]

the fuck is a resume bitch give me the job

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Ain’t that the vampire baby from Twilight?

[natrasharomanova]

i work at a children's hospital. as per hospital regulations, all employees have to go through regular fire safety trainings. most of it is pretty standard. and then there's the Baby Vest.

it looks like this:

it fits six babies. and in the event of a fire we're literally supposed to just put it on, fill it with babies, and then evacuate the building.

[jungwildeandfree]

fire alarm (ringing)

me, stuffing babies into my vest: sorry excuse me i have to leave immediately 

[sonypraystation]

she’s not into you shes just social

[1095870145-deactivated20200409]

me when i see my cat rub against someone i don’t like

[babyboomerbullshit]

admin: this one is good actually

[duzy-pies]

Never underestimate the powers that cat

[catlips001]

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and

[catlips001]

Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said

[ask-cloud-skipper]

you might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies

[android1000]

[kevinokevinokevino-deactivated2]

[nerevar-shid-and-fard]

how do you guys feel about my lock screen

[of-claws-and-dragonscales]

OP do you take constructive criticism?

[nerevar-shid-and-fard]

there is nothing to criticize here

[ametislady]

Who the hell organize apps by color

[beyonceisstraight]

Mind your business

[captain-price-official]

[dirtbaby2016]

its dj erectile disfunction on the beat

[dirtbaby2016]

making sure yall go hard even though i cant

[distinguishedbaloney]

[caden]

We were funnier in 2010 than we are now

[audrocur-deactivated20221128]

how is this 2010 if thats an iphone 6

[sunriseofflutes-deactivated2021]

adult emailing culture is overthinking how polite you sound and forgetting to send the attachments

[knifepadme]

academia is ruined, we need to throw it back to the days when scholars were only after the cure for death, i want to wear a cool robe and get funding from the king to just do whatever the hell and kind of poison him

[pukicho]

For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in.

[destrochao]

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

[pukicho]

Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch

[showerthoughtspost]

Pressing the crosswalk button when there are already people standing there is like publicly announcing that you don’t trust any of them

[oppositionresearch]

I don’t

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[e-lodicolo]

[jayywesst]

You ever read a message and be like "dis why i don't like talking to you" 😂