Unreality on legs

Hmm...strange thoughts are recorded here 👁 Fandom: Lord of the Mysteries 🖤 catopus on ao3 she/her

[maverlok]

I hear my mom shrieking downstairs, shouting up to me about “THE CATS! THE CATS!”

I run downstairs, thinking someone has died or something and see THIS:

I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING TO GET OVER THE ADORABLENESS

[deejohnes-deactivated20151107]

They look like they’re about to break out in a musical number

[maverlok]

hence:

[nethaca]

This post got better since I re-blogged it earlier.

[lamsandmulletteblog-deactivated]

This is everything

[ammoth]

@maverikloki

… my hand slipped

[lizardtater-deactivated20240414]

Chance would’ve inspired some dope Renaissance paintings 👼🏼

[miniemizu]

obsessed with that one art of mechanic kaveh so here i present racer haitham x mechanic kaveh 🌱🏛️

[wileycap]

Selected Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook

Or: Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko

1. Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko should not be referred to by his full titles and styles, no matter the context. This appears to annoy him. "Fire Lord Zuko" and "Lord Zuko" are acceptable, as well as "your majesty" and "my Lord".

1.1 "Lord Hotman", however, is unacceptable.

1.2. Even if the Avatar specifically requests you to address Fire Lord Zuko as that.

1.3. In fact, any attempts by the Avatar, the Lady Beifong, the honorable Tribesman Sokka or even Master Katara to get you to address Fire Lord Zuko by anything other than his proper title should be disregarded.

1.4. Referring to Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.) as "The Loser Lord", however, is acceptable.

2. Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty. Following activities should be discouraged: Free climbing, glider usage, contact with exotic animals larger than a turtleduck (or smaller, if the animal is known to be venomous), amateur theatre productions, cooking, sailing, spelunking, botany, please see full list in the Matron's office.

2.1. It should be noted that His Majesty's belief that mortality does not apply to him does not appear to be completely unfounded. After several "close calls", it has been decided that upon his demise, Fire Lord Zuko should lie in state for at least two weeks.

2.1.1. We do not want another incident.

3. The turtleducks in the Western Pond do not need to be fed by the servants any more.

3.1. However, the turtleducks should be rotated out at regular intervals in order to prevent overfeeding.

4. At any official social functions, at least three servants should be vigilant in case His Majesty tries to tell a joke.

4.1. It should be noted that there is no concern for His Majesty's jokes being offensive, crass or otherwise contrary to good taste. They are simply very bad. His Majesty always ends up embarrassed.

5. Any children left unattended in the Royal Palace for more than 15 degrees can be retrieved from the Fire Lord's office.

6. Should His Majesty go missing, the following places should be searched: roofs and any high places, cellars and secret passages, the fur of the Avatar's sky bison (which is surprisingly deep), and every place that an ordinary five-year-old would think to hide in during a game of "Hide and Explode."

6.1. All of the Imperial Firebenders as well as any soldier who wears a mask during the course of their duties should be questioned.

6.1.1. Important note: Some of the soldiers who are especially close to His Majesty can perform a passable imitation of him. Efforts should be made to prevent an uneducated soldier from, say, conducting a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture.

6.2. After the recent incident, that list is expanded to include the Kyoshi Warriors and any other groups that might wear concealing full face paint.

6.3. If all of these measures prove ineffective, a letter should be sent to The Dragon of the West, Prince Iroh, asking His Highness to return His Majesty.

6.4. If a ransom note is delivered, it should be immediately checked against the handwriting samples from the honorable Tribesman Sokka as well as Avatar Aang, before any other actions are taken.

6.4.1. Replying "Good luck, he's your problem now" to a ransom note is absolutely unacceptable.

6.4.1.1. To further drive home the point, the Royal Archives are required by law to preserve every single piece of royal correspondence. That thing will end up in a museum.

This handbook will be updated should it prove necessary.

[mikkeneko]

"Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty"

[homunculus-argument]

A professional exorcist, but with the attitude of a professional pet handler. A demon whisperer, if you will. Just showing up to places that have a ghost problem, figuring out what the creature's problem is, and then just... give them chew toys, usually. The girl whose soul is trapped in your cellar is scared and bored in there, of course she'll rush at you and shriek every time you try to go in there. Ease her into human interaction, leave the door open sometimes and talk to her until she gets used to you.

Yeah the thing clawing on your walls is a bear spirit. Yeah a bear was slaughtered on the spot of this house incorrectly in the 1800s or something. Yeah performing the proper rites now won't make it go away, it's already used to your trash - bears are creatures of habit. Just do these little rituals to appease it every once in a while. In the good news, the ghost bear will keep the living bears off your trash. Yeah bears have a lot of reverence to their dead.

Oh, "poltergeist" is an outdated term, we don't use it anymore. It was used as a kind of a blanket explanation for a whole bunch of different phenomena that couldn't be explained otherwise. What you have here is an undiagnosed autistic child who's also on psychic spectrum. Yeah no there's actually significant overlap between the two. Here's where to find resources on how to better accomodate your kid, the furniture should stop exploding on its own once you've figured out a better way to communicate so they don't get overstimulated.

This house right here is just build on a demon area. No yeah the mysterious scripts you found carved in the stone that your house's foundation was built on literally just say "DEMON AREA DO NOT BUILD". They don't live here, it's just like an ant road. Except the ants are the size of a truck and immaterial. No you can't redirect the demon highway, you gotta move. You built a house on top of a stone that literally says "DO NOT BUILD". I get that you didn't know it at the time, but you do know now, so if you choose to stay, that's a you problem.

[thecollectibles]

Art by Lena Rivo

[uglycumi]

Hello mr. Fool

[purr-in-ink]

[debelice]

One 0f the greatest and hardest dance scenes ever recorded......

[the-haiku-bot]

One 0f the

greatest and hardest dance scenes

ever recorded……

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[tyrograph]

Cab Calloway and the Nicholas brothers! I don't think I've ever seen the colorized version of this before!

[bunsunbunny]

I haven't seen it in color either! It's a fantastic dance scene!!

[sashayed]

one of many things i love about this scene and the nicholas brothers generally is that you get both astaire and kelly every time, like you get harold grinning like a loon having the most fun ever captured on camera and then fayard who is so smooth and elegant with it that he almost retreats into the background UNTIL you realize how much he's doing and how quietly pleased he seems to be about it

[ktempestbradford]

Shoutout to the sax player on the right when they jump up on the musician's podiums. You can tell the director told them all to play and "ignore" the brothers because most of them are. But Mr. Right Side Sax Man is very much not ignoring them and you know it's because he got kicked in the head during rehearsals and isn't about to let that happen again despite promises that they Got This.

[tom-nippleston]

I have waited ALL FUCKING YEAR TO POST THIS

Santa is coming tonight.

[lich-of-the-golgari]

@alltheshit-althetime

[suntosirius]

THE ONLY CHRISTMAS POST I DON’T BLOCK

[fozby]

dancer is my life

[thedanliest]

YES HERE IT IS, JUST IN THE SAINT NICK OF TIME

[wewillneverknow1111]

Opinions?

I‘m honestly torn as to whether I should read omniscient reader’s viewpoint or lord of the mysteries first.

Which one do you all consider better?

[ramuneda5149]

Gehrman Sparrow cooldown rkgks

[catopus]

Snow

It snowed today. It hasn't snowed for more than a week now; the temperature has been consistently around -3 to 0 degrees - the previous snow has since melted away. A winter without snow feels like no winter at all. They say we're having a warm winter this year. So far, that seems to be true. So when it snowed today, I took time to look up to the sky (much like an idiot) and observe and try to find words to etch the snow into my mind, for such is the only thing I can do.

Snow is weird. It is one and many. It is said to be one phenomenon but is made of many teeny tiny snow. You see it in the hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, and yet you don't see it at all. It reveals itself if there is a background to contrast it with. It's the dancing dust in the light. You see snow only when it is at a distance from you, and never right before your eyes. When the sky snows, it blankets the air like a locust plague. The static that muddy reality.

You don't see it until it lands onto your clothes, goes in your nose and mouth, and prickles your skin. Maybe each snowflake is a fairy whose life is as eternal as the natural cycle and as fleeting as... snow. Maybe when the winds blow it is the fairies roaming this small part of the world, and they shout as the winds roar that they're living.

Snow is the painter who works tiredlessly and quietly. You'll see its work when the day comes, a world of whiteness. When snow settles, it is as if there's a bridge connecting the earth and the sky.

(Lost all my snow pics when I changed phone. Have to make do with a recent one. The snow is thin in this, but the sky and the earth were almost of the same color, and it was cool)

[fail-boat]

The shelter where I volunteer got some new hissy babies and we were making progress with socialization yesterday.

[thinkveganworld]

Play video, sound on.

[chairman-buttlicker]

There was this old lady who lived across the street and cats would just appear at her house. They’d never really be seen again, and she had a cat of her own with a collar and all who never really left the house but would spend most of the day by the bay window. But the rest were just a revolving door of random cats. Which naturally meant kittens would pop up too.

So one time when I was doing my high school volunteer hours at this animal shelter, she showed up and said she had some kittens to drop off and some to pick up. I thought it was weird but I figured she fostered them and so I assumed she fostered cats and that explained the amount of random cats I’d see at her place (turns out she’d lure strays in for spaying/neutering and then take them to shelters around the area for socializing and ideally adoption).

So she dropped off three extremely socialized and friendly kittens that I guess she had picked up 2 days prior. And then grabbed a kennel thing with five feral-ass kittens one of the donors found near a dumpster.

I had seen them earlier but the day manager told me they had just gotten them the day before and they had not been socialized because they were waiting for “the expert”. And I guess that was this lady. So she puts on these thick black gloves and goes “Sweetheart can you hold this for me? I gotta prep the babies”, and I held the kennel still while this woman just 100% no fear sticks her hand in there and grabs a kitten that is NOT happy about it. She then grabbed it by the head gently, wrapped a tea towel or some type of cloth thing around it, and then laid it down to do something that was like equal parts origami fold and burrito roll?? Idek. Point is the kitten was PISSED. But it couldn’t move or anything because she wrapped it and secured the wrap with one of them big old timey baby pins. And she did it to the others as well. It didn’t even take her 5 minutes lmaooo. Then she put them back in the kennel and went home.

I asked the manager about it and he said “Oh yeah she’ll be here in 2 days to drop them off. She has a M E T H O D.” And just as he said she showed up two days later, with 5 perfectly friendly kittens in tow!

I didn’t ask because I assumed she was a witch and also I didn’t care, but I had mad respect for her 😂

[taraljc]

I wish to meet this woman and also to learn from her so that I can do this magic

[datcat1325]

@cat-spotted

[cat-spotted]

CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

[hurshibal]

LOTM Fanfics Society

Hello, people, I've finally finished this server I'm making :D If you want to join, you can click the link below. I can't figure out how to do the webhooks so I'll just do that later. But for now, welcome! Read the rules and regulations in the #rules-and-regulations channel to gain access to the #roles channel, and by assigning yourself a role, you give yourself access to the respective channels that come with it! Link: https://discord.com/invite/KD8qY7wHZe I hope we have a good time together, this is my first time doing a server meant for many people, so please be kind to me :D Just DM me if you want to become an admin, currently, I want three more admins other than me. Any fanic writers and readers, shippers or not, are welcome here!

[cat-cosplay]

Be Not Afraid

[catopus]

Mr. Fool's true form

[caats]

Source