On People Who Probably Don't Deserve Your Time
So there was this summer. And this person I once knew.
He meant something because he was the first person I trusted enough to have sex with who I wasn't in a relationship with; to me, this action was freeing and modern, contradictory to the behavior I'd practiced in the past, and in conjunction, marked a new chapter in my life.
Funny thing, because this person, he wasn't..material. Of any sort.
Nothing relationship-worthy. Or even friendship-worthy, it turned out.
Just a good actor.
A frightened, sad, manipulative someone, living in a small town.
He'd been through hell and hadn't handled it appropriately.
But for some reason, I hung on to the concept that this person could break free from this.
That I could help him to break free from this because, to be callous for a minute, everyone's been through various stages of hell. Your character is based upon how you handle the hell in question.
In retrospect, I imagine that I wasn't the only person to believe that I could be of help but then, I also had no clue he was the city ho at the time.
To my credit, I'd been out of country.
Anyway. When I realized that I couldn't help this person I moved on. With a few humiliating (and weak) falterings myself, but I eventually came to the point that I failed to see him in the light that had initially drawn me to him; he was less an intelligent, capable, wonderful person and more the weak, manipulative, insecure man I learned he had the capability to be.
And I was crushed.
When I look back, I'm still shocked by how crushed I was.
Because I believed in him.
Truth is, I would have believed in him whether we'd become intimate or not.
And who's to say. Maybe he's the type that if we hadn't, he'd have been more receptive to my help.
But again, I'm still shocked by how crushed I was.
Because now, I don't feel a thing.
With one simmering exception.
I feel embarrassed that I put what I put into it in the first place, comprising my own dignity at times in the hope that this injured person would deign to let me help him.
At any rate, learn from my blunders:
Do not attempt to help someone who does not want your help.
1. Chances are that you will one day discover that they were, at the same time as behaving intimately with you, being intimate with the county klepto. And some. (Your situation may be slightly different, but you understand the gist.)
2. This person was not receptive for a reason. Let this person do their thing. Do not try to alter anyone's present state of mind. There's probably a lot that you don't know.
3. Consider your current state.
If you had more going on in your own life, would you have allowed this person to consume so much of your free thinking?
One day, even if some of you have never even once come close to the situation that I have described, you will experience someone similar.
And I hope that you will remember, in some way, this anecdote.
And that the first sentiment that will occur to you is:
"Nope."














