Catstalker 𓌬

>:3 twewy hype👀 ||20|| A Twizzler-flavored Slim Jim that's mostly entertained by COMPLETE CHAOS and nothing less.

[catwewy]

HELLO! THIS IS CATSTALKER, OR BETTER KNOWN AS CATWEWY, COMING TO YOU SEMI ALIVE FROM TUMBLR.

YES. I HATH REGAIN THE PASSWORD TO THIS ABOMINATION AND CAN NOW TORMENT THE FANDOMS FROM BOTH OF THEIR MAJOR SITES!! HAHAHAHAHAH

[scramble-crossing]

If there's a twewy crossover in kh4 (which there will be trust 🙏) I'm banking on squeenix modelling beautiful-if-not-somewhat-uncanny semi-realistic 3D models of the main cast and then at the very end cutting to the crunchiest fucking Sho sprite completely unedited just paste onto the distance so he can say one line (with a reused voice clip of course) and then vanish for another decade+. This is the true Sho agenda

[william-s-churros]

i think i saw a movie like this once

[maidslime]

Ok I needed to know the story and

Guy makes a really stupid decision and gets in a car accident -> no real damage from accident but insurance goes up -> starts beating himself up over his stupid decision -> gets depressed -> starts to realize he's single and had crash been worse he'd die alone -> realizes he's never had a relationship or even a crush and starts wondering what he'd want out of a relationship -> starts to realize he doesn't really like girls so he thinks he must be gay -> realizes he likes girls and boys about the same amount, so he must be bi -> later realizes that "same amount" is none at all -> he's ace

[sycamorality]

op disabled reblogs but i really wanted this post on my blog again

[catwewy]

Half my favorite games are like this. Im pretty sure its because alot of them have amazing but really common tropes that i was only first exposed to in those specific games/shows/mangas and unfortunately for me. Most people will not be entertained by them due to how prevalent they are.

[aromantic-diaries]

Tryin to prove a point to my homophobic mom

Reblog if you think it's perfectly fine and maybe even great to put coins in the blender

[kat4884]

the gooners

they’re everywhere

[felixcloud6288]

Dat's right boss. Now just tell us what ya need and we'll get it done boss.

[quadtator-lawful-evil]

who needs ta sleep with da fishes boss

[bananapudding752]

sorry bawss, I was too busy searchin up da anime girls boss. real pretty.

[felixcloud6288]

Forget dem anime goils. Dere only temporary. But da boss is forever. Right boss?

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: t g t’ at' gt . t t at a a ' gt t . ta t a a, a t ac a a g . a tt. gt a g. ta. t a . gt ?

Closest match: Oeneis jutta genome assembly, chromosome: 18 Common name: Jutta Arctic

(image source)

[felixcloud6288]

Da boss got turned into a butterfly!!

[pfaugh]

Wadda bea-utiful transformation, boss. goes to show youse gotta preciate the lil things in life

[hraeiou]

ay boss congrats on da metamoiphosis

[cyborgsmanifesto]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[4velitta4]

I feel like this could be useful in my future

[astrologypixies-deactivated2016]

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

[getupoffyourcassbutt]

If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me

[theszandor-deactivated20190509]

I’m gonna reblog for y’all but also for me bc I’m a writer man I need this random info

[catteries]

Timestamp August 2017

[catteries]

Timestamp December 2018

murayama's writing was so good in this - hope more people actually pick it up to play it.

[catteries]

Timestamp April 2018

Armed Intervention.

[catteries]

Timestamp June 2018

my aoe MVP girl is at it again

[sanguinewolves]

yk what i hate though. is when i find a meme and im like THIS IS SO [cool intimidating mutual i never talk to] I SHOULD SEND IT TO THEM but then i remember ive never talked to them ever and so i cant just like give them a meme out of the blue and so the meme just withers and rots in my camera roll 😔

[autistic-af]

Reblog if a mutual who's never spoken to you can randomly send you memes that made them think of you.

[greelin]

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

[meilintheempressofdreams]

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

[symbolblue]

uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018

[greetings-inferiors]

Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

[shencomix]

My Fitness Coach is a Dark Wizard [Complete]

[fawnpalmer]

quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

[zillychu]

hey guys check it out I can do a frontside 180 with my stomach haha

[zillychu]

hopital

[zillychu]

just 4 u. I braved Phone Art while on Turbo Morphine (I think they called it dilaudid. it's Turbo Morphine 2 me)

oh ur super flexible? yeah well lmao can u do THIS??? (throws up and dies)

[zillychu]

u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days

[zillychu]

I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.

I found out my body cannot handle opioids.

my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.

do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA

they don't

[zillychu]

GUESS WHOSE HOSPITAL IS GETTING HIT BY A TORNADO

[zillychu]

made the saving throw 😎 not today, Satan

[zillychu]

Y'ALL WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT BIOLOGICAL PROCESS STARTED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY

[zillychu]

THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO

[zillychu]

I'd love to say this has been an educational experience, but unfortunately I run on Spite and simply vow to torture my blorbos even more now

which is saying something while being in the Vivisect the Half Dead Child fandom

[zillychu]

I LIVED BITCH!!

Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!

I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this

I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately

starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet

this guy is getting the true moral of this story

I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation

you and me both! isn't nature beautiful

you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are

god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse

I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too

did I stutter

[zillychu]

honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again

fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi

you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea

I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so

THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second

the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ

I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"

I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine

don't carbon date me like this

Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long

[zillychu]

the abortion was a success! (/silly)

they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating

what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!

the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?

to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.

all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”

I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call

EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn

[zillychu]

haha that was a fun near-death experience glad it's over though GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRED

[zillychu]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO

[zillychu]

my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky

I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often

- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends

- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch

- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️

- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself

- Murderbot TV series good :)

- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen

- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation

- who the fuck is Job

please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole

can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes

I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus

no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay

can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them

no this is Patrick

I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"

take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen

you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[tomeoforigin]

does anyone else remember this song Yeah I don’t know man