even in arcadia

Arianne | 29 | USA jaded optimist. restless daydreamer. ✨life (OC) simulator afficionado✨ [NSFW, 18+, Adult themes lie ahead. Reader discretion is advised.]

[cautiously0ptimistic]

I turned 30 yesterday! My free trial to adulthood has officially expired! We in the big leagues now :>

[elderwisp]

don't you forget what goes up must come down

[cautiously0ptimistic]

𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪

[hheeexx]

blue🐺 red 😈 

[cautiously0ptimistic]

𝔤𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔠𝔨 𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔞𝔱

[cautiously0ptimistic]

My cat's been sick on and off for the past few months, so much so that I had to take out a loan to ensure I could pay for the constant vet visits. The one time I took her to the emergency vet, they somehow did not have ultrasound capability that day, even though that visit alone cost me $1600 dollars just to give me no answers and her only temporary relief.

Months later, I finally get a referral from her primary vet to get an ultrasound done at a different clinic. Have to play phone tag with her primary vet for a full week the ultrasound until I finally call the clinic I had the test done at and beg for answers. Turns out there are multiple causes of concern, but ultimately, it all points to the one thing I was most scared of---cancer.

To say I'm devastated would be an understatement. I've posted about her on here before, but Priscilla has literally been a piece of my soul for most of my life. She just turned 13 years old, and I've had her since I was 16 going on 17. She's been with me and loved me through all of my formative years. She's everything to me. I knew that, realistically, she wouldn't live forever, but I literally cannot imagine life without her.

I haven't spoken with her primary vet about next steps yet, because quite frankly, even if I wanted to try to treat her, I simply can't afford it. I've exhausted the entirety of the loan I took out (which albeit was relatively small because I'm still working on rebuilding my credit after my previous relationship) and I barely have enough to keep myself afloat and continue to pay that off, let alone treat my cat for cancer.

I feel almost...short-circuited, right now. I just got a promotion at work, and although that will come with more hours, the pay difference will only be enough to really cover my bills. Otherwise, I'm tapped out. I've already spent over $4000 on her vet visits thus far, and those were mostly just general visits. Specialty visits, additional tests, biopsies, oncology??? Not to mention the possibility and/or inevitability of further discomfort for her.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. Any positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated right now. I feel like I'm losing it.

[cautiously0ptimistic]

I know I've been MIA bc life has been crazy and chaotic (and I unfortunately have not touched TS4 in...some time), but best believe I've still been writing in the background! In fact, my goal is to have a full draft of The Journey Forward completed by the end of the year to potentially be on track to publish by the middle of next year. And those are actually generous timelines, because at the rate I'm going, I may have a draft completed by fall!

Anyway, in case anyone misses my OTP (probably only me), here's a lil' snippet from the scene I'm currently working on, which is arguably one of my absolute favorite scenes in the whole book. :~)

Spoiler alert: Neither of them made it out of there in one piece.

This is the first spicy scene I've written in literal years and I'm really happy with how it's turning out. In hindsight, I feel like a lot of my romance block came from my previous circumstances, and now that I'm approaching six months of freedom, I'm finally able to tap back into that side of myself. Here's to hoping the inspiration train keeps chugging 'cause I need to get this damn book DONEEEE. (and give these guys the story they deserve.)

Wish me luck~

[sailatina3]

Hi. To make a long story short, my mother received a notice of deportation. My family is fighting this in court. As you can imagine its very expensive and burdensome, my father works many more days to afford lawyers and fees. Which means there isn't much room to spare for my expenses, so its up to me to deal with that.

So, if you have money to spare, it would mean the world to me if you could donate to my cashapp $SnowStorm626. To help with my groceries and necessities. I don't think this will be permanent, I will probably either get a proper job or perhaps start art commissions at some point. But for now I rely on charity work. Thank you.

[cautiously0ptimistic]

hi! hope its okay to ask if not just ignore this ^^ but i desperately want to know what beard you are using for your Nolan? its so hard finding good beards for men in ts4 ugh. please and ty!! hope you have the most lovely of days <3

Hi friend! Absolutely no worries, and back at you! 🖤

Sorry it took me a bit to answer, I had to comb through TSR to find the beard you're looking for because I recently wiped all of my cc and couldn't reference Tray Importer any longer LOL

but alas! I found it!

It's MagicHand's Wyatt Beard N25! They remain one of my absolute favorite creator's for facial hair, so I would recommend browsing through their content if you're on the hunt! Please let me know if there's anything else I can help you find!

[cautiously0ptimistic]

so I backed up my tray files but deleted all 120 gb of cc that I had...

[cautiously0ptimistic]

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate and happy holidays, friends!!!! Long time, no see! I hope everyone has had a lovely (and stress-free) holiday season ❤️ The past couple months have been, UH, insane for ya girl, to say the least. In November, I finally moved out of the apartment that I shared with my ex for the past nine years, and in with one of my very best friends while I figured out what the hell I was gonna do. In that time, I spent a ton of time with friends, got a new tattoo and a new piercing, and gained a whole lot of clarity & reassurance that ending that relationship was absolutely the right call.

This month, I toured and got approved for my own place in the same city, made all the proper arrangements, and moved in just a few days ago. So far, it's been really lovely, albeit incredibly empty because I currently only have my clothes, a bed, coffee table, end table, TV, and my PC to my name, and I wouldn't have half of that if it weren't for my friends. It's unfortunately made me realize how much I've had to sacrifice/leave behind despite investing so much in my past home/relationship, and that's been difficult to reckon with, but we persevere~ It's a little scary being on my own for the first time in my adult life, but I'm trying to remain optimistic and remind myself that the worst part is already over, and that it's only up from here. Mentally, I've been feeling much better and lighter overall, so I think we're headed in the right direction. That being said, I don't know how much time I'll have to dedicate to gaming, especially as we go into the new year and reach slow season at my job. (which means hours will be sparing, and I may have to get a new/possibly a second job since I'm solely responsible for ensuring my rent gets paid now) I'm not marking this blog for demolition or anything, but I definitely want a better way to keep up with y'all in the meantime so please please please, let's be moots on my other social media! Message me for the handles and I'd be happy to hand them out! Sending you all so much love and good vibes as we go into this new year! Here's to hoping it's better than the last like...five LOL

[cautiously0ptimistic]

an update no one asked for

SO HEY GURL HEYYYYYYY

I ended up not getting the job I was interviewing for a couple months back. Kind of a blessing in disguise overall, tho, for a plethora of reasons. Luckily with us going into product launch/holiday season, I’ve been able to pick up a fair amount of extra hours recently, and while I’m still not getting full-time hours, I’m getting dang close most weeks and my wallet has been grateful for it as things continue to get more and more expensive.

Sleep Token was transcendent. The setlist was killer, I got all dressed up and went all out, and I screamed and sang until my voice was practically gone. Even somehow managed to get some commemorative merch at the end of the show. It was an insanely cathartic experience and seeing them was undoubtedly the highlight of my year.

And a really fun recent curveball (although anyone who’s known me for long probably isn’t super surprised), I ended my almost 12 year long relationship last week, this time for good. Everything’s very weird and raw and uncomfortable right now, and I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m doing great, but I’m powering through. I restarted therapy with scarily good timing, and me and my therapist are working through the emotional side of things. I’m planning on going to live with a friend for a bit, but eventually in theory I’m going to have to get my own place??? And I genuinely have no idea how I’m gonna handle the financial side, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Might have to channel my inner Sabrina and land back in my podunk hometown to start over~ crazy how life imitates art and vice versa.

YIKES ANYWAY I miss the hell out of y’all, and your creativity and pixel babes. I hope y’all have had a bit less of a whirlwind of a couple of months than I have (or if you have, it’s been the good kind.) I’m pretty low on spoons altogether in this moment, so no telling when I’m going to be actively posting/writing/doing anything creative for the time being. Gonna try to start lurking and catching up on all I’ve missed tho, so if you see me in your notes, don’t be surprised~

[ellemant]

A day at the temple in Cahaya. Daisy posted a wish on the wish board, lit some fragrance sticks and burned incense at the cat statue. She left feeling very tranquil and relaxed.

[shysimblr]

Malakai or just 'Kai' and Callie

[cautiously0ptimistic]

SHYSIMBLR, back on my dash in 2025???? what a blessing

[cautiously0ptimistic]

little life update

I'm prolly gonna be a little less than present for the foreseeable future, not that I've been very present overall lately. >.< I have an interview this week for a full-time position at a different store (but for the job I'm already doing part-time currently) and it'll be a big change in a lot of ways if I get it. my current location is just a stagnant, toxic wasteland and I refuse to let it suck the life from me any more, even if it's only like 5 min down the road from my place. It's not guaranteed I'll get it, but I think I have a really good chance between my connections at the other store, as well as the fact that my work speaks for itself. That being said, my autistic ass rly isn't fully ready to take on full-time work again (or a quadrupled commute), but I am ready for the MONEY because the transition would be game changing for my quality of life and financial freedom.

also I quit smoking over 2 weeks ago, and have hardly had a craving since. I'm excited to be free of nicotine dependence, and this has been the easiest quit I've ever had because I'd cut down so significantly beforehand, so I'm pretty confident it will stick. Again, MORE MONEY, and also better health & breaking generational cycles, which was my main reasoning. I told myself I wouldn't smoke past 30, and I MEANT THAT SHIT. And look at me, quitting a whole year early~

and lastly, the Sleep Token concert is less than 3 weeks away now, and I've finally ordered all the final pieces of my lil gothic fairy ensemble that I envisioned. Hoping and praying that it comes together the way I see it in my head 🤞 I've had tickets since March, and it's been the sole driving force getting me through this godforsaken year, and I can't believe it's almost here. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, it'll undoubtedly be one of the very best days of my life and words cannot truly convey my excitement.

It's funny because a few months back, I opened a fortune cookie that told me September would be a month of happiness and joy, and it seems to be shaping up that way. Lots of changes in the works, but definitely good ones. Living up to my handle by being cautiously optimistic, for the first time in a long time.

[ellemant]

meet cute at the fruit stand in cahaya

[cautiously0ptimistic]

"Isn't it pretty?" she trilled excitedly, her grin pointed toward the beaming sunrise to our east, but my eyes never left her. Maybe, on a normal day, I would've been impressed, but there hadn't been a normal day since we'd landed on this island. Call it what you want: distraction, deflection, denial—I wasn't sure. Personally, the sun was at the bottom of my current list of favorite celestial bodies, followed closely by the moon. Neither could hold a candle to Maggie's unrelenting gravitational pull. I'd probably orbit her forever, if she'd let me. "Unbelievably."