Overcoming adversity in life and finding success.
I've put this blog to together to talk about how to find success in difficult times. First I'd like to say that I'm not the all knowing on the topic of success. But as I'll share, I do know a little something about dealing with issues that stand between success and I.
How to find success in difficult times...
This is such a great topic, because it can cover so many things. There are so many ways to re-program your brain to get you in a mindset of success rather than succumbing to whatever adverse situation you are facing.
Some people reading this may be looking for personal success such as taking control of your finances or getting in shape. Some of you may be interested in professional success. I personally feel that the mindset for both start the same. The only difference is the actionable steps you take to find that success.
To me, "difficult times" just means adversity. To find success in any situation, you have to address the adversity/road block that's keeping you from it. You see adversity is nothing more than a difficulty or misfortune that has the ability to create an enormous amount of stress. Adversity often feels like a big bag of failure. So if it feels like failure and if failure usually creates thoughts of doing something wrong, adversity can create some horrible feelings. This adversity could be a job promotion missed, a relationship ended or maybe you're just stressed out and overwhelmed with life. None of these feel good.
The truth is, that this "failure" you are feeling is simply feedback and this feedback is nothing more than an opportunity to look at whats going on in a situation or in life and figure out how to fix it. Its an opportunity to re-wire our brains.
Everyone fails.... Everyone! Everyone Stumbles... Everyone! If someone tells you otherwise, they are either lying or not trying. The most successful people in the world fail more than most people ever try. I once read that Thomas Edison failed at over 10,000 attempts before creating a working light bulb. Each failure was simply feedback telling him he needed some tweaks. These failures made him smarter and each one got him closer to illuminating the world.
Often the biggest obstacles we face are ourselves. The self doubt and even loathing in some cases is what keeps us from making the tweaks we need to illuminate our own ideas and successes.
I'm going to share one of my many opportunities I've had to tweak my life. October 18, 2003.... This was a day that changed my life in a very profound way. It was the day I had to learn my very first lesson.... The Hard Way! Life was good at this point. I was finding success in a young real estate career. I had cash in my pocket, nice things and some pretty cool friends. Life was good. The day was beautiful. The sun was shinning, the water was warm, the wind was non-existent and the water was glass. It was a perfect day for wake boarding. A couple buddies and I were out in a brand new 21 ft Air Nautique. This boat was the definition of awesome. Basically, it was a perfect day..... But there was a problem. I had been living a wild and irresponsible life. From the moment the boat hit the water, we started drinking. We weren't chugging drinks, but after 8 hours on the water not one of us would pass a breathalyzer.
The sun was starting to set and as we were heading back to the dock when things got super dicey. On the way back, the driver TRIED to dive the boat into a hard left. This was a turn he and that boat had made a million times. This time though was completely different. As he approached the turn, the boat drifted too far to the right and clipped a cedar stump near the bank launching the boat 15ft up into the trees that surrounded the creek bank. We made the news! There was a picture of the crash and a not so great write up about us in a local paper. The boat looked like super cool tree house crammed up into the canopy. To me, it looked like terror. The crash ejected me from the boat and I collided with a tree at an estimated 23 mph. My lower left leg wrapped around the tree. 3 inches of skin was all that kept my leg from being completely separated from my body. I'll save you from all the gruesome details, but I'll share this:
1. I almost died at the scene due to blood loss. 2. I was picked up by life flight and taken to the Shands Trauma center. 3. I was told I would never walk without a prosthetic. 4. I had 10 surgeries over 2 years. 5. I have a titanium rod, 2 plates and 16 screws in my leg to this day. 6. I lost the ability to work or take care of myself for over 6 months. 7. I had to sell my home and move back in with my mother. 8. I almost died 2 different times from staff infections. 9. My budding career almost came to a halt. 10. I had an open wound for over a year. 11. I was on crutches for 2.5 years and on a cane for a year beyond that. Needless to say..... I found myself looking square in the eyes of adversity.
I like telling that story because it's an extreme version of my point. I was living all wrong and making questionable decisions leading me down that path. When I share this, most people think that the crash was the adversity I'm talking about. Sure the crash sucked, but it was merely the end result of the bad decisions I was making. I put myself there. I had done that stupid shit a million times before, but this time I paid. I found myself with and opportunity to make some real tweaks to my life. Again, I know this is extreme, but it's real.
Adversity happens to all of us and while pain is inevitable, despair is optional. Many in that situation could have easily folded up shop. After all, I lost my home, my freedom (from my mom, lol), my income and in my mind I had lost the ability to be desired by a woman. In My head, I was broken. When we find ourselves down like this, it's the perfect opportunity to take responsibility and focus on the root of the problem. The crash wasn't the problem. The choices I was making was the problem.
What adversities are you facing right now? What in your life feels like it's standing in your path to success? I encourage you to write down all of your road blocks. Are they the never ending daily obstacles that grind your progress to a halt. Or... Is it a single moment of struggle that has thrown you off? How have you dealt with these? Have you overcome any of them? If so, How? Put all this to paper. There is a lot we can learn from looking back on our answers. If not what to do, we can definitely learn what not to do.
Now that you have all of your negative thoughts out of your head and on paper, replace them by acknowledging yourself for all of the things you do right. Stop beating your self up. Start with the little things like: getting to work on time, consistently hitting the gym, eating right or being a person of your word. Now that you have acknowledged yourself, make a point of expressing your gratitude. I was grateful for not making it to the dock. Who knows the damage we could have caused if you got on the road. I was grateful for a great mom that helped me pick up the pieces. I struggled a lot through my recovery with depression and self worth. For almost 3 years after the crash I basically sat around eating pain pills. I'm super grateful that addiction was a battle I never had to fight. Its hard to be upset and down in the dumps when you focus on what you are grateful for. Tell someone close to you what you are grateful for and ask them to share the same.
This is the mindset that helps us overcome the bullshit that blocks us for being successful. Everyone will find success in different ways. I started to find my way by cleaning up my life. I was forced into acknowledging my reckless lifestyle. I stopped making as many bad decisions, but I was still unhappy with who I had become. After 3 years of pain pills and Doritos, my body was a wreck. My big changes happened when I submerged myself into health and fitness. After seeing a few physical changes, I was hooked. I became dedicated and consistent. I learned that the doctors had less to say on how I recovered than I did as I pushed passed every limit they said I would have. That drive and determination quickly spilled over into other areas of my life, including business. I was more confident, more in tune with myself and my self esteem was finally on the rise.
Now I'm not saying that my path is the one size fits all for overcoming your adversities, but I am saying that like me, you may need to find your tweaks. Reach out and grab your success! No body is going to do it for you.
I hope my story can bring some ideas to the table to help you with your journey,
Identify the issue, Take Responsibility and Make your Tweaks!
