Paring: TASM! Peter Parker x Reader (eventually)
Warning: Mentions of death
Notes: Here is part 2. Not sure exactly where I want this story to go, but the more I write the more ideas come. I’ll probably be busy this week working but I’ll be writing here and there. I really hope you guys enjoy this and again I am very open to constructive criticism LOL. I love anyone who takes the time to read this and I love anyone who actually likes this. Thank you and enjoy :) x !!
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Today was Gwen’s funeral, and you weren’t sure if your could bring yourself to go. Every night since that night all you thought about was her death. You blamed yourself, If only you held on tighter. If only you’d gone home. Would she still be here? Does Peter blame me? These thoughts plagued your mind.
You hadn’t gone to school in weeks and you barely left your room. You didn’t talk to anyone, the only person you did want to talk to didn’t want to talk to you. You haven’t seen or spoken to Peter since Gwen death.
You’ve tried calling, texting, and dropping by once but no luck. He was the only person who knew what you were going through and you needed him, but he was no where to be found. You closed your eyes, the events of that night flashing behind them.
You watch Peter jump after her, and hear the familiar sound of his web. Then the memory goes black and when it returns you remember his cries and him holding her lifeless body. You weren’t sure how long he held her for but your arm was sore when he finally lowered you down. When you caught a glimpse of Gwen’s body up close it broke you.
You did this. It’s your fault she’s gone.
You held yourself as you cried, Peter only watching in silence probably lost in his own thoughts. A soft knock at your door brings you back to reality. “Honey are you ready?” the sound of your mothers voice fills the room as she walks in. You look at her from your bed. “I don’t think I can.” You whisper. Your mother walks over to you and sits next to you.
“Honey in life you will experience loss, each time will be different. Some will be hard to deal with; others will be… not easy per se, but better than most. Losing a best friend is one of the harder ones to deal with.” Your mother rubs your arm and you begin to cry.
“Someone once told me that love transcends death, the memories you’ve made with her will never be forgotten, they reside forever in your heart and only you can keep her alive by keeping those moments with her alive.” Your mother wipes your tears. “I just miss her so much” You sob.
Your mother holds you. “I know baby, I know. Goodbye’s aren’t always easy and saying goodbye so soon can feel so wrong, but this isn’t goodbye forever” She kisses your forehead and holds you tighter. The sound of your cries fill the room, you remained in your mothers arms for a while before pulling away to sit up.
“Let me get dressed” You say, she nods giving you one more kiss to the forehead and exits the room.
You grab your phone and unlock it going to your recent call log and finding Peters name. Your fingers hover over his contact for a while before clicking the call button. Two rings and straight to voicemail.
The ceremony seems to have gone by quickly. That or you were just going through the motions waiting for it to end so you could go back to your room. As the casket began to lower you notice Peter standing across from you. He was looking down it didn’t seem like he saw you.
After her casket was lowered everyone said their goodbyes and began leaving. Your mother intertwines her fingers with yours and begins to walk towards the car. “Im going to go say hi to Peter.” You say stopping, your mother kisses you hand and releases it. “Alright, i’ll be in the car. Take all the time you need.” She says.
After watching your mother walk away, your gaze slowly returns to Peter. He was staring down at Gwen’s grave. Despite not being able to see his face, you knew he was lost in thought. Taking a deep breath, you begin to approach him slowly. You stop a few feet behind him knowing he senses your presence.
"Hey Peter." You say, you wait a few moments for his response. He ignores you and simply continues staring down at the grave. After staring at the back of his head for a moment, you walk towards him until you’re standing beside him while avoiding looking at the tombstone. A painful reminder of your mistake.
Your gaze is fixed on Peter. "I haven't seen you in a while... not even Spiderman." You gently placed your hand on Peter's arm, but felt him tense under your touch. Reluctantly, you let your hand fall. “How are you holding up?” You asked. He continued to ignore you.
“Peter please.” You plead, the frigid air blowing through you. You wrap your arms around you body for warmth. “Talk to me, you’re the only person I can talk to about this. Please don’t shut me out.” You say softly.
“What is there to talk about?” Peter breaks his silence, he is still avoiding your gaze. You shrug your shoulders. “Everything Peter. We never talked about what happened that night.” You said. “Theres nothing to talk about.” He replies.
You take a breath and roll your eyes. Grief was a bitch. “I lost her too Peter. She was also my best friend.” You said. There was a long pause, the only sound was of the wind blowing around you, when Peter finally spoke. “Why’d you let her fall?”
You’re speechless as you stand there. “What?” You asked, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Why’d you let her fall?” He repeated. You stare at him, not knowing what to say. Peter finally looked up at you, his complexion was pale, eyes were puffy and red, but his stare was harsh.
“Peter she slipped” You whisper. Peter scoffs and you notice a few tears fall from his eyes. This was the second time you’ve seen Peter cry, the first being when he was holding Gwen. “I told you to go home; if you went home she’d still be here.” He declares.
Tears are welling up in your eyes. He had the same thoughts you were having, “You don’t know that Peter.” You say with a small shake of your head.
“If you had gone home, I would have caught her first.” Peter says. “Instead…” He goes quiet. “Instead you caught me first.“ You finish his sentence. You two are silent for a moment, staring at each other.
You take a deep breath and glance down before summoning the confidence to ask the question that began to plague your mind. “Do… do you regret saving me?” You inquire softly, looking at the ground.
More silence follows, you look up and Peter is looking back down at the grave. “Peter?” You didn’t believe your heart could break any further than it had already. “Some best friend you are.” You say as you begin to walk away.
The tears beginning to flow. “Y/N wait, I didn’t-“ You cut him off before he could finish. “Peter, save it. That’s exactly what you meant to say and you know it.” You continue walking towards your mothers car before coming to a halt and turning around once more.
“You know I barely sleep anymore,” You began “Because every time I close my eyes I see her.” You look down and start playing with your fingers as the tears blur your vision. “I spend most of my time thinking about her final moments and what I could have done to prevent that.” More tears.
“But never once did my mind ever go in the direction of blaming you” You look up and Peter is already staring at you, his expression softer than before, “I blame my self more than I blame you. I could’ve saved her.” He said softly.
“If that were the case, she’d still be here… but she’s not.” You said as your brushed away your tears. Peter was taken aback by this as though you were reiterating what he was thinking. “Take care of yourself Peter.” With that you headed towards your mothers car.
A part of you wanted to run back to Peter and apologize for hurting him the way he did you, but another part of you didn’t care. Your best friend accused you of being responsible for the death of a third of you. You wouldn’t be able to recover from that.