You know there really is something poetic about the fact that Flash and Reverse keep bringing each other back intentionally. Like they’re not each others lightning rods so they have to try and bring the other back. At this point Reverse seems to have won if you really look at it. They’re two sides of the same devoted coin and Barry Allen needs Eobard Thawne the same way Eobard needs him.
Sweetheart, they very much ARE each other's Lightning Rod.
Eobard is the only one person in the whole multiverse who was able to bring Barry back after Barry had been dead for 23 years. Iris (who by the way is the reason or at least part of the reason why Barry died in the first place), didn't even FEEL that Barry had returned once Eobard had brought him back. Wally, who keeps saying he is Barry's Lightning Rod, was never able to pull Barry out of the speedforce.
It is kind of subtle because there is no moment in which Eobard uses the words "Lightning Rod" and I don't think he likes the expression, but that's very much what happened in the Rebirth Mini. He did the unthinkable (made himself the NSF), physically walked into the Speed Force and pulled Barry out. And Geoff Johns, being as subtle as a brick, had a panel of Eobard standing next to a huge lightning rod lol.
And when it comes to Barry? Well, Barry very much uses the Lightning Rod expression. And at the end of Finish Line he does accept/admits to being Eobard's Lightning Rod.
When it comes to how they need to actively WANT to bring each other back, I think it's partially due to the fact that these are not "just" speedsters; Barry is the Speed Force personified, and Eobars is the Negative Speed Force personified, and this again is explained pretty well in the Rebirth Mini. So yeah, they are very much two sides of the same coin and it makes SENSE that they're each other's lodestone.
But it's not always intentional anyway. Barry did not consciously brought Eobard back to life at the beginning of Running Scared. He was feeling guilty because he didn't manage to save him in The Button, and apparently he wanted him back. Same thing happened when Barry summoned a lightning storm that very precisely hit Iron Heights and again very precisely crushed Eobard's cell and his restraints, without hurting him, in order to set him free - Barry did not do this knowingly, he was worried because Daniel had been taken from Iron Heights and brought to Belle Reve, and subsequently he had died in a Task Force X mission, and in his fear that this could happen to Eobard too, his powers manifested and broke him out of prison.
It's the same thing as when lightning strikes and saves August's life by turning him into a speedster. Or when it keeps striking and turns some hundred people into speedsters because baby feels lonely. Barry doesn't do this consciously; as he hasn't accepted that he is the Speed Force, his powers come out following his desires or his fears.
That being said, there is a very important component of reciprocity when it comes to lightning rods. When Linda forgot about Wally, Wally was unable to leave the timestream because even if she very much is his Lightning Rod, she couldn't be that for him at that time, because she didn't remember him. It's not an automatic thing: if tomorrow Linda stopped loving Wally, she wouldn't be his Lightning Rod anymore despite how much he loves her. Which leads me to believe that despite not fully realizing it in a conscious manner, Barry and Eobard know and they look for each other subconsciously, and they keep each other grounded to the timeline.
Again you are correct, Eobard very much won. Barry didn't care about him ONE BIT back in the Silver Age, Eobard was just a nuisance with superpowers. And now Eobard is his lodestone, the darkness to his light, and even the voice of reason sometimes. Like when in Knight Terrors he's pretty much the only one telling Barry "this is a nightmare, wake up".
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