~ Astarion's Vampire "Family" Dynamics Pt. 1 ~
TW/CW: discussion of abuse, dysfunctional family dynamics, scapegoating
Okay, here goes my first long analysis post on Tumblr. This was originally a three-part series on Reddit and some of you may have read it before, but I've spruced it up with some images and additional thoughts. I originally wrote this after many discussions about how the vampire "family" presented in the game eerily and accurately portrays how many dysfunctional families play out in real life. Although these are fictional characters, the topic and themes discussed are very real to many people (including me) and so I would ask that you please be respectful in the comments.
In making this analysis I found this video very helpful as it contains all the recorded lines of Cazador and Astarion's "siblings".
Cazador, the abusive "parent"
I’m going to start by focusing on the abusive parental figure, Cazador, who, although not a parent to the spawn, is trying to establish some sort of warped family dynamic. He displays many characteristic consistent with an abusive/narcissistic parent.
1. An obsession with power and control. Astarion mentions multiple times how obsessed Cazador is with power, especially power over people. Cazador frequently expresses that Astarion belongs to him - I counted 13 different lines where he refers to Astarion as “mine”. (If you want to see what imo is the scariest version, skip to 6:32 in this video and notice Cazador’s face and growl in his voice as he says “he’s mine”). Cazador also mentions how after the ritual he will be “free to crush any that stand against me with merciless power!” Power and control are clearly his MO.
2. Arrogance and grandiosity. If you visit Cazador without Astarion, he can brag about the ritual and be excited to have an audience. “Blessed are you all to witness my ascension.” He has other high opinions of himself too: “I have been gifted with inordinate intelligence.” Even the way he speaks is over-the-top and screams grandiose egomaniac.
"Witness the birth!" So happy to have an audience.
3. Related to the above, Cazador is concerned with appearances and social status. He hosts extravagant parties and wants to be seen as one of the “great and good” of Baldur’s Gate.
4. A strong sense of entitlement. When you arrive to confront Cazador he is throwing a tantrum about Astarion ruining the ritual he is entitled to. He scream writes in his journal “I WILL HAVE MY DUE” after Astarion doesn’t return. He believes his spawn owe him their gratitude for everything (in his mind) that he has done for them. There’s also this line, which I think sums it up his sense of entitlement beautifully: “I am the immortal Cazador Szarr. And I always get what I want.”
5. Professional victimhood. Related to that sense of entitlement, Cazador is also a professional victim. Out of every miserable soul in the palace, he's the one that's really suffering. He has a diary just for writing down how much his spawn disappoint him (never mind the fact that he’s the one abusing them). The infamous line of “I have known you for two centuries. Have I not suffered enough?” to Astarion is another example. Ironically, Astarion would have happily left at any time if he could have, making Cazador “suffering” his presence Cazador’s own fault.
6. Gratification from humiliating/degrading/hurting someone. Astarion tells us Cazador took pleasure in his pain. We also see a few examples firsthand. If you talk to Cazador without Astarion present and tell him that Astarion is scared, Cazador will respond “indeed, he is terrified” with a gleeful expression. Another example is how much Cazador visibly enjoys riling Astarion up during their confrontation and the malicious joy in his eyes when he incapacitates Astarion and tells him he is a “small, pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything.”
The face of someone who is relishing the pain he is causing.
In addition to having these traits, Cazador uses techniques straight from an abuser’s playbook.
Gaslighting/blame shifting: Abusers use gaslighting to try to get their victims to question their reality. A related term is blame shifting, in which the abuser refuses to take responsibility for their actions and instead places the blame on the person they hurt. Cazador does both of these. He takes every opportunity to tell Astarion how grateful he should be for the “gift” Cazador gave him, attempting to shape Astarion’s reality into one where Cazador is his benefactor instead of his tormentor. When Astarion calls Cazador out on his actions, Cazador is quick to shift the blame to him. For example, when Astarion talks about how Cazador never forgave anything and constantly punished him, Cazador replies: “I strove for perfection in all things, even those as imperfect as you” - i.e., “it’s your fault I had to punish you so much. You should have been better.”
Double binds: A double bind is when the abuser places someone in a lose-lose situation. The classic one is Cazador’s “dining” ritual where Astarion could “choose” between eating a decaying rat or being flayed. Astarion even says “hard to say which was worse.” Another example is during the confrontation. If you speak up for Astarion, Cazador will berate him: “have you fallen so far that this speaks for you?” But when Astarion does speak for himself, Cazador flips the script and now berates him for talking too much: “I fondly remember your empty boasting, your tired jokes, your endless prattle.” Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t.
Infantilization: Cazador does not treat Astarion as an adult or even slightly competent. He calls him boy, child, brat and tells him “without me, you are less than nothing.” Obviously we know that Astarion is very capable without Cazador. Infantilization is just another tool to chip away at Astarion's confidence and autonomy and maintain control over him.
Sowing discord among the spawn: I’ll touch more on this next, but Cazador purposely pits the spawn against each other so that they have no chance of uniting against him.
If I had to choose one quote of Cazador’s that I feel really encompasses him as an abuser it would be this one: “You were only ever a means to an end. I made you to be consumed.”
For many abusers, people only exist as an extension of them, for the purpose of meeting their needs. In real life, people may not be consumed in the sense of literally sacrificed in a ritual, but their needs, wants, and personality are consumed to fit what the abuser desires. I think looking at Cazador helps to understand Astarion's character and what the spawn went through, not just physically, but psychologically. Cazador can already control his spawn by compelling them, but his use of these other techniques are a way to further his control, disorient and confuse them, and chip away at their sense of self. To me, this Cazador is more terrifying than if he were just a generic evil vampire lord, because the abusive techniques he uses hurt real people every day. He’s so realistically-written that he’s almost triggering.
Unfortunately, we don’t get a lot of information on the spawn dynamics, however it’s clear that there is some degree of infighting. One example is in Violet’s diary, where she talks about putting garlic in Yousen’s bed and also calls Yousen a “runt” and Leon a “snob”. Petras and Dalyria seem to get along better than others in the Flophouse scene, but even then they are arguing about whether they should go back to the palace or stay and get “one more mark” for Petras.
Any infighting between the spawn was certainly encouraged by Cazador. He also established what looks like a golden child/scapegoat dynamic in the family. This particular dynamic is common in familial abuse and basically involves the golden child or children receiving extra privileges and more positive attention while the scapegoat receives blame, criticism, and the brunt of the abuse. In this case, the “golden child” is whoever is the “favored spawn” at the moment. Although they are still abused, they get to live in relative luxury with their own room, privacy, and access to blood. This system works out well for Cazador, as it does for all abusers, because it forces the spawn into competition for better living conditions, reducing the likelihood of any unity within the spawn, which could threaten Cazador.
In terms of the scapegoat, I believe there is plenty of evidence in the game that Astarion was forced into this role:
Astarion says his “screams sounded sweetest” to Cazador and in the same conversation says that he pities his “siblings” now that he’s not around to take most of the abuse.
Astarion is not on the “favored spawn” list, which shows that he wasn’t the golden child, at least.
Cazador focuses especially on Astarion’s mistakes and punishments in his journal.
The spawn call Astarion “master’s favorite toy”, “runt of the kennel”, and say he “always whimpered when he got beat” - implying he spent the most time out of all of them in the kennel being tortured.
Astarion says that “nobody ever looked out for me” or “said a kind word to me”, implying that he was especially isolated.
Definitely giving him a hug next time I load up my file.
In terms of the other spawn, it appears they also perpetuate this scapegoating dynamic:
Both Petras and Leon call Astarion “runt”. Petras even says he should be “put down”.
The spawn call Astarion “weak” for not fighting back, but also call him stubborn and mention that he “never liked following orders”. They also guilt-trip him for currently fighting back and not going back for the ritual. These contradictions show that it is less about Astarion’s behavior and more about the fact that they just need to blame him for something. The scapegoat is never meant to win.
The spawn parrot a lot of Cazador’s criticisms of Astarion - he talks too much, he thinks he’s funny and he’s not, he’s weak etc., essentially going along with his scapegoating.
Leon and especially Petras are the two spawn that have the most negative things to say about Astarion. In the case of Petras, he certainly seems to have not only a history with Astarion, but also appears the most supportive of Cazador:
“You don’t know what my lord is capable of. You don’t know his power.”
“True power only comes from the master.”
“The master has always been strict. But we’re better for it!” (After origin Astarion tells Petras that Cazador has given them nothing but beatings)
If Petras is truly somewhat pro-Cazador, then it makes sense that he would be the one that goes along with the scapegoating most heavily, since he is either more likely to see things the way Cazador does, or more eager to gain his favor by going along with his narrative. Astarion also becomes extremely angry when encountering Petras, hinting at a level of suppressed rage and history between the two of them, perhaps because Petras went along with the scapegoating.
In terms of Leon, he mentions wanting Astarion to fight against Cazador with him in the past - perhaps to help him free his daughter - but it seems Astarion didn’t and that led to hostility. However, Leon is the current “golden child” in the favored spawn room and has not been a spawn for very long. He is certainly still a victim, but he probably hasn’t become as jaded as Astarion has and can’t really see his perspective, which may lead to him having harsher views towards him and contributing to the scapegoating.
Having a scapegoat benefits an abuser for a variety of reasons. One of them is absolving them of their terrible actions by placing the blame on the scapegoat. Think about how Cazador presents the ritual to the spawn. To them, he presents it as a wonderful gift that will allow them freedom - failing to mention that he will actually be sacrificing them. Then, when Astarion isn’t around for the ritual, Cazador gets to blame him for ruining this wonderful gift. Even though the ritual is delayed, Cazador still benefits from the narrative - he gets to be the “good guy” and Astarion, the problem, perhaps even a problem that his other spawn will eagerly catch and drag back. I can picture Cazador throwing a tantrum, telling the spawn “it’s all your brother’s fault”. Cazador also punishes the spawn when they fail to bring Astarion back, giving them another reason to blame and hate Astarion because they could avoid that if he would just fall in line. Chamberlain Dufay also blames Astarion when he’s afraid of being substituted for the ritual, calling him a “brat” instead of placing the blame on who it really falls - Cazador - for planning the ritual in the first place. Cazador’s narrative seems to have worked, because when the other spawn reunite with Astarion they call him out for ruining things and even tell him he’s not part of the “family” anymore:
“This is our only chance to be free, to end centuries of slavery. You will not ruin it, Astarion.” (Aurelia)
“Don’t listen to him, Dal. We’ve been loyal. We’ve earned our reward. Unlike the runaway.” (Petras)
“I can’t believe you’d turn on us. On your own family.” (Dalyria)
“He’s NOT our family. Not anymore.” (Petras)
This is very typical behavior when the scapegoat goes against the family.
Finally, a scapegoat is an example of what happens if you get on the abuser’s bad side. It keeps people who aren’t the scapegoat afraid of ending up like them. For this reason, the other spawn can find a way to benefit from this. As long as it’s not them, they can avoid some of the abuse by hiding behind Astarion. They can also gain some protection by going along with the scapegoating behavior. I want to add, that even though I’ve discussed the harmful behavior of the other spawn, they are absolutely also victims of Cazador and if they are going along with the scapegoating, it is a survival tactic in a ruthless environment. In the same vein, I also want to acknowledge that Astarion most likely hurt his siblings as well - there are references in the game to him lashing out. But the fact remains that when the other spawn go after him, they are punching down, just as Cazador wants them to. Astarion did not have a high status in the “family” and almost certainly got the most frequent abuse. This may be why he’s not so hesitant to sacrifice his fellow spawn when he is considering the ritual. In his mind, these people perpetuated his abuse, to some degree. Yet, he still feels some sympathy and compassion for them, which it doesn’t seem like all of them return. It’s a very complicated situation.
That's all for part one. If you've read this far, thank you, and please feel free to leave a comment! I'll be back for Part 2, where I’m planning to touch on my personal theories on why Cazador selected Astarion as his scapegoat.
Part 2 is now live. Access it here.
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