alt acct @celexias - Tumblr Blog

delphyxion-deactivated20170216

When it comes to Maths, I am as dumb as Morty Smith.

byanger-a-deactivated20200110

shit my mom’s boyfriend has said starter sentences

“ YOU SIT ON IT, YOU FUCKING PEASANT. “ “ DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. oh, sorry, i forgot to say please. “ “ LOOK AT YOUR MOTHER’S COMPUTER. IT’S AWFUL. “ “ the internet went down, were you looking at porn? “ “ your mother is SINNING “ “ i can’t believe you’re a furry now. we have to break up. “ “ how gay can i make them? “ “ sword art online was a masterpiece. “ “ they’re aliens. they literally can’t be anything else, they have to be aliens. “ “ you and your weak ass allergies. “ “ you didn’t cuss? what the fuck. “ “ OOOOOH, YOU SAID A BAD WORD. “ “ sometimes i forget you’re a kid, but then i see you curled up in your pajamas watching pokemon. “ “ we’re making her watch fullmetal alchemist. “ “ you’re the shittiest shit of all little shits. “ “ STOP DRILLING MY ASS. “ “ we should make ___ watch anime with us. “ “ are you a furry? “ “ THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DOWNLOAD PORN. “ “ i’m an awesome person so look for someone as cool as me in your life. “ “ I GOT SPRINKLES ON MY BOOBS. “ “ that’s a lot of meat. “ “ your kid sounds so miserable. “ “ i brought a fuckton of ice cream so in about five seconds you’re gonna stop being sad. “ “ isn’t she from the … the —- bird on fire book movies? “ “ tell him to sleep on the floor, the couch is mine. “ “ you get to yell at people for MONEY. “ “ on a scale of one to ten, how fucked up was that? “ “ the old lady downstairs continues to be fucking nuts. “ “ HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE THE COOKIES “

#Rick fucking Sanchez

axiasprompts

Random Quotes that don't have to do with anything sentence starters

“Wow, the whores are really out tonight!” “Do you think my gag reflex is good enough to shove my whole foot in my mouth?” “Don’t look now, but that geezer is sporting a flower man-kini.” “I couldn’t get you that thing you wanted, so I got you this stuffed platypus.” “What the hell are you doing with my zucchini?!” “You can’t say that 5-hour energy-flavored coffee is bad until you’ve tried it yourself.” “You see, folks, this is the reason why the economy is bad: working at the same job with your lover is bad mojo!” “I can’t tell if your drunk or high, but even on your sober days your ideas suck, so no.” “Tonyyyyyyy.” “The Fonz was an excellent man of high moral standing and fashion, and you can’t convince me otherwise!” “Kill all demon babies!” “Sorry, didn’t know a neon thong was required for these meetings.” “I would sell your soul to Satan for this game. That’s how much I want it.” “Why pray tell, is that cat rubbing it’s junk on your new shoes?” “Chickens are simple creatures, requiring only corn in their lives. My life must acquire the simplicity of a chicken.”

b0ssbot

do you ever draw something SOOO self indulgent and dirty u just have to take a moment and be like

#meme

ghostiepoots

Matching icons for you and your bruh

#oh my god #tagged in.. kinda?#same

@corpses

#GiveElsaAGirlfriend

trying to get your friends into your fandom like

kinesthetiachomoromanticore-dea

celexias

@corpses

prsphn1-deactivated20160816

“arent u a bit too obsessed with that thing?” listen my buddy my guy i dont know how 2 just like smth a moderate amount …… i am being swallowed whole and alive by the Burning Fire of my Obsession™,,,, my pal u are incorrect im no such thing as “a bit” obsessed i am ….. on fire and can talk of nothing else ,,,,, friend,

eros and indo

indo

WEREWOLF AU'S

“dude i know youre a werewolf and all but seriously that freaking howl laughter you do is so fucking extra and i cant take it anymore”

“you being part dog has its perks, mostly for me because whenever i toss something away your eyes follow it and you perk up like you want to chase it but restrict yourself and its honestly the cutest fucking thing ive ever seen”

“honestly though i hate my pack so much, like theyre a bunch of assholes but i ran into you on a full moon run in the forest and idk u seem pretty cool. wanna go hunting or scare some people or some shit? i know this sick ass lake thats always really warm, i can show you”

“yes i understand im a big bad werewolf now but really i dont want to hurt those cute little rabbits and deer, cant we just wait until we transform back to eat? thats not how it works? well cant i just eat before i transform so i wont be hungry–im sorry im just new at this and im sorta trying to go vegetarian here–”

“babe you know i love you and i would give up my life for yours but i sWEAR TO GOD IF YOU GIVE ME ONE MORE DOG TOY FOR MY BIRTHDAY IM GONNA PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN THE FACE”

“look im not a supernatural fanatic or anything but i swear man every time this kid next to me gets frustrated they actually growl and it sounds just like some rabid steroid induced dog, and im not saying their a werewolf man but theyre totally a werewolf”

a werewolf getting personally offended when someone says they’re not a dog person

“as a werewolf i can personally talk to dogs and boyohboy does ur little pug have some tea to spill…"

“alternatively, i find you to be really superduper adorable and whenever i come over your little dog goes off on rants to me about the cute embarrassing stuff that you do when your home alone and honestly I wake up every day for these chats”

“when I saw you climbing out of the stream I was fishing in dirty, wet, and naked, I assumed you had just survived some kind of intense mob hit or something but really you had just detransformed from a werewolf after you were playing in the water trying to catch a fish, and ultimately failing. nice ass, by the way.”

#I LOVE