@celnsteln - Tumblr Blog

i want to break free.

#my silence won’t be mistaken for peace. musing #deception and perfection are wonderful traits. aesthetic #plastic smiles and denial can only take you so far. visage

elinarojas:

“I think it’ll save you from much trouble in the future. Just a thought,” she smirked shaking her head at his idiocy. Luckily for him, his personality made up for it. Cole had always been a sweet soul that she was always delighted to see whenever she got the chance. “I do like ketchup and I prefer turkey burgers, but at least it still counts!” Elina had always been particular and a picky eater growing up. It used to drive her mother insane, but she still turned out relatively healthy and still at veggies and fruits to her mother’s surprise. “Oh yeah? Where you looking? You want some help?” Elina secretly loved interior design and spent countless hours on Zillow looking at properties on sale just for fun. If he needed the assist, she was more than happy to help.

“hey my trouble comes rare and few so what can i do when it comes but entertain it?” cole teased hands flying up innocently for a more with soft laughter escaping him. he never crossed anyone negatively other than darren it seemed, and his parents honestly but for very different reasons. “turkey burgers -- i’m speechless honestly.” a soft shake of his head weighing his answer, not many were offering that much help other than advice.

“thinking silver meadows, just want somewhere nice and spacious. i honestly though have no clue where to start other than hgtv with the renovations, so yeah i’d love some help if you want to dare help a wolf.”

#i.elina

tana-blackwood:

“I love you too, sunshine.” The words came out so automatically that she hadn’t even thought about it before saying them. And they weren’t a lie. It was never a lie any time she shared any affectionate thought where Cole was concerned. The problem had never been not loving him. Even back when they got married far too young and the marriage ended it had never been because of a lack of love on her end. If anything love had been the reason behind it all. Because she couldn’t bring herself to let him be stuck with her when he should be with his soulmate. It wasn’t that she hadn’t loved him enough to stay- she had loved him enough to let him go. Well, let him go to a degree. Somehow they kept on finding themselves unable to stay away from each other too long. That baby was proof of that and maybe that should have been a big red flag a long time ago- but a part of her had always believed he had simply loved her as a person and was willing to accept that. As long as he ended up happy she would have been able to accept that. “I’ve always loved you.” And with as little thought as she had given saying those words the witch closed the distance between them- a thing that she had done so many times before but somehow felt different in that moment.

some weight came off his whole body as she spoke, cole had heard it many times before but there was never the meaning he was looking for behind the words. years spent slowly starting to believe he was insane, just spewing on a feeling that should have been forgotten but it never left no matter the times he attempted to move on. she left him speechless, what was there to say though? he honestly wanted to just stay in this moment, staring at her. when santana closed the distance between them his hands automatically went to her face holding it gently as he returned the gesture. a long pause was held before he pulled away, “is it rushing if i mention moving in together again?”

#i.santana

elinarojas:

“Oh shut up you ass,” she rolled her eyes as she walked over to Cole before joining him at the table. As much as she cared for her brother and wanted to support the business, Elina enjoyed personal space and was sure Darren would agree in the same. The last thing she needed was to be up her brother’s back with her return to town. “What if I said I was not a fan of wings.” It was quite a debate with her friends especially throughout med school. Not even boneless appealed to her in any sense. Plus, sauce all over ones fingers just sounded sloppy. “I’m usually more of a chicken fingers and fries kinda gal,” she chuckled. “What’s new with you stranger?”

“i hadn’t realized it started talking,” he smirked up at her, watching as she sat down. “i’ll certainly tell it later to shut up, rude to be talking to the ladies.” shaking his head as if disappointed, although his attention eventually landed back on her. although he wasn’t close to darren but purely based on what he knew of the man and compared to elina they were nothing alike. “burgers then? -- ah makes sense, although you like ketchup right or i might be concerned.”

“um - nothing too much, looking into moving neighborhoods.”

#i.elina

tana-blackwood:

The thing of it was that witches knew soulmates existed. Of course they did. Everyone from the supernatural community knew that they were a thing. But they couldn’t feel things the way that werewolves and shapeshifters could. For them it was a natural instinct, something that they would know was real without trying too hard to know. Or at least that was what they were always told. Werewolves and shifters somehow could just sense their soulmate though she had never really understood how. Whether it was a feeling or a scent or something else entirely. But because she was a witch and couldn’t sense something like that it always seemed like a foreign notion. Something she knew was real but never imagined she would encounter. So for a moment she just watched him quietly, silently. After a moment though the witch cleared her throat, eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Why wouldn’t you have said anything before?”

“how does someone bring it up without seeming absolutely nuts? no one takes the risk of losing someone they love, and i love you santana - i was... wanting to find a way to bring it up or even hope that perhaps life would just let us fall back together again. this though--” he motioned gently to between them, referring to the pregnancy. “-- this is unexpected but, not a bad thing. no matter what happens i just ... need you to know i’ll support whatever decision you make.” cole didn’t mean to put his fears onto santana of her leaving, he shouldn’t have assumed and told her sooner but the words always got stuck in his throat.

#i.santana

@elinarojas .

“elina -- not a supporter of the red moon?” the wolf teased as he watched the rojas enter derrys. of course not everyone had to go to a family business but considering the rocky relationship with darren - though the other might deny that have a friendship at all - he wondered where elina fell. did she fall in the people of wolford, was she someone to care for names - positions - power. all something that came to his mind only now.

“although i do know the wings are amazing here.”

#i.elina

persephone-sarkissian:

“I was raised not to express your opinions or emotions at all,” the Unseelie replied, not sounding down at all about the way she had grown up though rationally understanding it wasn’t strictly speaking normal. Even when she had been in the midst of it she understood most kids didn’t live that way, always careful about what they said to the people in their lives- specifically the adults around them. Yes, they were often taught respect but not to seal away any thoughts or feelings from the world as though even having them wee dirty and wrong. Thinking for yourself wasn’t encouraged, just blind obedience. Oh what a disappointment she had been in that regard- if she hadn’t been then she would still be living there instead of thousands of miles away. “And what do you think they want you to be for them?”

“oh -- ironically i learned the same though my family was more concerned with seeming professional rather than ... anything else.” he flinched a bit with the admission though cole all but shrugged it off a second later. the only time his parents expressed a real emotion was when they were annoyed -- upset or angry, it was their go to for any occasion they deemed fit. the times they were kind was only to appear the caring role, how many kids can say they at least got fake praise? “i honestly have no clue, i’ve never been amazing at reading them.”

#i.persephone

tana-blackwood:

Santana opened her mouth to respond to him but then closed it right back up, not entirely sure what to say at first. Mostly because she wasn’t entirely sure she understood what he was getting at. It wasn’t the words themselves that she didn’t understand but it was more that she wasn’t sure what he was implying. It would be very easy to misinterpret things. And that was the last thing she wanted to do. Because they had been living in the relationship they had been in for a long time, because there was a lot of care between the two of them, because of all of the people in Wolford outside of her family Cole was the person she cared about the most. And because she cared about him as much as she did? She didn’t want to risk causing any issues between them; she didn’t want to put a damper on the relationship they had. And she didn’t want to make the future between them while navigating raising their child awkward. “Sunshine,” she finally began after a moment. “Are you saying you think I’m your soulmate?“

“yes - i know it’s a loud of shit to most people santana but it’s a feeling. i don’t feel what i feel with others the way i do with you. i’m also hoping you’ve felt it too, and it’s not something that you trust one hundred percent right away but i’ve learned that since the day i’ve met you there wasn’t anyone else.” period, he almost wanted to add but he kept his lips shut. cole could be crazy honestly, he thought about it often wondering if maybe as a supernatural he dared to confuse simple love for something so serious but staring at santana he forgot the doubts. believing fully he was made to be there for her, whatever it may be.

#i.santana

tana-blackwood:

“Sunshine…” The witch trailed off, not entirely sure what she was planning on saying to begin with- or what she could even say at all. In that moment Santana wasn’t even entirely sure she understood what it was Cole was implying. She had a vague notion, of course, but she couldn’t know for sure. Or maybe it was more that she had a vague idea of what she thought he meant but wasn’t sure of it. There had been a lot of things over the years that they either didn’t seem to be able to say to each other or misunderstood when it came to each other and this? This seemed too important of a conversation to get wrong or to cut corners when it came to words they shared. There was a child involved in things at that point. A child who needed them to get their communication skills together; a child who would need for them to both be clear about things. It would be too confusing for them otherwise. “What exactly are you saying, Sunshine?”

the silence... he wished it meant something better but he truly wonder what made santana so clueless to his feelings, how could someone say it in all the ways he has and still not have gotten his point across. even more her questioned earned a soft sigh, cole would never give up though, he was feeling out of options. “santana, you - you are everything to me. i respect our choices in the past, the divorce and all the years we’ve spent with the relationship we’ve had but there will never be someone else to replace the space you have in my life. i hate to be as careless with a term but i would say this is what it must feel like to have a soulmate because i’ll never not want to be in your life.” cole finally stopped talking, a hand running over his mouth unsure if those words did him justice. “that’s all... i love you and that’ll never change.”

#i.santana

masterelric:

Worrying seemed like a very human thing to do. Elric didn’t worry often and when he did it was about his fledglings more than anything. His wealth could be replaced and collected over again, his family was his to lose. “It is something,” Elric mumbled softly. “Oh you misunderstand, my appetite for what courses through your veins is quite satisfied at the moment, but I always find myself insatiable for the heat that a body provides. Quite human of me wouldn’t you agree? But if you are offering either… I would not deny.”

“My history? Is that what piques your interest?” Elric asked wanting to know more about the wolf in front of him. “Why do you assume I am so old? I could be freshly turned… Some vampires have no history to speak of, or if they do only a few decades or even centuries.”

“i find there’s a history with certain species being greedy regardless of being satisfied, don’t mind me for using my knowledge.” his shoulders gently lifted, offering a polite smile despite coles apprehensiveness behind him. though he did let out a hearty laugh, a hand landing on his chest as ‘elric’ mentioned coles offer. shaking his head gently as he settled down, “no sorry, i happen to have someone who claims that. though there’s emerald city, heard the girls love offering uh - comfort for guests if you’re just looking for company.”

“if i dared to ask yes, i find the past far more intriguing than futures and as a vampire you most typically have lived enough to give some good tales. though i could be assuming you’re older than you appear as you said.”

#i.elric

@palomadisjardins .

cole was beginning to wonder if he missed some supernatural news for the vampires to be coming to wolford, the increase could set a wolf on edge. top it off he had santana on his mind and their possible future, why did vampires need to come now? he had no problem with most of them but some seemed as though they were time bombs waiting for a moment to go thirty days of night on everyone.

even now as he sat in the coffee shop listening to the group he was with he couldn’t get the nerves out of him, glancing every now and then to the woman in the corner. he could smell her from his spot and it caused him to stir the slightest in his seat. he’d come to the conclusion he wouldn’t feel right without saying something... excusing himself from the table he approached the vampire.

“anyone ever make a joke about a vampire in a cafe to you?”

#i.paloma

persephone-sarkissian:

“People are complicated.” Wasn’t that the understatement of the century? People were just about as complex as beings could get. Other species weren’t as driven by their emotions but instead by their instincts- survival of themselves and their kind. People had all those nasty feelings getting in the way and they weren’t always easy to explain or even understand. Hell, most people struggled to understand their own emotions rather than just the emotions of others. And growing up where she did? Well, complicated people were the norm. As frustrating as that was? She was accustomed to it. “Sometimes you have to be direct with people. Subtlty is all well and good in certain things but sometimes unless you’re very clear? The other person won’t know what you’re getting at or what you’re thinking. So, my unsolicited advice? Be direct. Doesn’t have to be blunt or rude- just lay out whatever it is you want to discuss and figure out in a way that can’t be misunderstood. Or you’ll probably drive yourself crazy waiting for an answer.”

“ever found directness work for you?” cole questioned, the times he was direct he was angry - he found it easier to simply say it as it was than to hold anything back. nothing new for him given his family, they all loved to dig into one and other so something like speaking a piece of your mind was so easy. yet the deeper emotions, softer and more tender ones escaped coles vocabulary when it came to santana, he never wanted to rush her as they had when they were younger. “i’m just too nervous they’ll run the other way thinking i can’t be... what they want me to be for them.”

#i.persephone

tana-blackwood:

Santana smiled, more accommodating than actually believing that. Wolford was a small town and she knew- and was sure Cole knew as well- that there was no way that his parents wouldn’t know at some point. Cole wouldn’t have to tell them himself because the town gossip and rumor mill would get back to them at some point. People at the country club specifically liked to talk- especially about the families of the other people there. And if they heard the younger Einstein son had knocked up his ex-wife? Oh, well, she was sure his parents would hear about it. But she wasn’t about to argue that point with him either. It was understandable that he wouldn’t want to tell them. They were pretty far from loving, caring parents after all. And to have her be the mother of their grandchild? It would be horrific in their minds. “Cole…” There was that guilt again, the kind that popped up every so often when they were together. It was the same guilt that had been swirling inside of her for most of the time they had known each other. The guilt that came from the closeness the two shared all while the witch knowing it was an unfair relationship. Unlike the family he was born into? Cole was a good person; he was kind and caring and he deserved the one thing that most people hoped to gain in life- he deserved to find his soulmate and spend his life with them. But as long as they were as close as they were? Him finding that person would be rather difficult. Reaching out Santana took his hand in hers once more, raised it up and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I love you to pieces, sunshine,” she assured him though she was aware he knew that much. “But at some point you’re going to find your soulmate and your world is going to be pretty wrapped up with them. And I know we’ll always be close and I know you’ll always be there for your child. But some things will change, sunshine. It’s natural.”

cole found himself shaking his head, knowing santana would never accept his answers. he was beginning to wonder if the feeling he had would never be right - that what he knew was true was actually false, like a believer waking up to the truth their god would never come to help them. “santana, have you ever wondered if you’re my soulmate?” he questioned, the hand she held unwrapped for hers, holding her face carefully as he attempted to be as stern -- yet soft as he could be. “you’re my world beyond more, i have never thought of another person - looked at someone the way that i did when i’d met you. when you’re around i know, you are it. the only person that the universe will give me that matters, that will ever matter.”

#i.santana

masterelric:

“Oh I have no idea where to spend it.” Elric chuckled, shaking his head. “I own lots of houses and I have been contributing to a swear jar recently along with my traditional donations which go to preserving nature, architecture and museums. I think I own a museum in New York… It was just a garage with paintings I’d collected over the years and I thought, why not show it to the public.” Elric mused getting a bit off topic but was quickly snapped back into attention. “Oh? I learned my lesson years ago. I will not separate myself from society. Besides, I quite like what humans and yourself are always so interested in.” Elric moved quickly towards Cole and gave a smile. “And I always feel insatiable.”

Elric looked Cole over sniffing the werewolf a bit. “Shame, I’d like to hear you say it.”

his mouth opened ready to give a rather long rant on what he could do with it though cole wondered if it would land on deaf ears so he held his tongue and mouth closed, a polite smile offered instead. “certainly a thing to have to worry over -- well not worry over i suppose if you aren’t concern with the money sitting there. though the museum sounds like a treasure to own.” a hand running through his hair for a moment, attempting to find a casualness in his tone yet the mention of the older man - his father - still lingered in the air. “isn’t that such a trait for your kind?” a smile of his own returned, a tightness behind it.

“me? i figured you’d be the one to talk more with i’m sure an interesting history behind yourself.”

#i.elric

What do you fantasize most about?

“Being totally happy - what life could have been.”

What is your love language?

“All of them? Yeah, all of them.”

Who is the last person you kissed?

“Santana.”

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