cemtysmixx

lowkey avoiding everything

[cemtysmixx]

Befriend with her is not that bad.

[cemtysmixx]

UWAAAAA OMG I WAS IN THE SAME GROUP WITH HER NOW, IN THE SAM GROUP—

It's not like I know that either (bruh), it's just there's is a lot of my classmates about to fail this subject so the teacher told them to pair with those who has good grade. Two of my friend (the one that sitting next to me, I'll name her B and the other one who she just talk to this evening as T) were in danger now so I decided to jump in and helo them.

THE THING THAT I DIDN'T KNOW IS THAT THEY INVITED HER IN AS WELL (cus she kinda close with B) AND ADD INTO THE GROUP CHAT.

UWAAAAAAA WE'RE IN THE SAME GROUO NOW- (although temporary til this Friday... But nah that's good)

[cemtysmixx]

Okey dokey she's just walking past me to sit with one of my friend and talk to her about som-

Oh fak SCREW THAT SHE TALK TO ME NOW- (nope not really she was talking to another friend of mine who was laying next to me and didn't rep her so-)

Process process process (maybe)

[cemtysmixx]

Okay I'm having a real panic right now-

Like, I just found out her lover might be a guy cus I heard her call them 'him'. Like... I was... trying to think it's just maybe, maybe it's just they prefer being called as he/him??? Like I hope so cus some of my close friend call me that way too (no my pronouns is she/her) 😭

But I think that's hardly the way I tried to think though cus you don't call someone the way they didn't preferred, right?

That broke my heart a lots ugh why did I still hoping that she would...- ugh.

But just this evening I went back home and opened my phone, scroll through reels like usual and then I SEE HER LIKED A POST OF A GAY COUPLE. Okay I'm not gonna lie but that's give me hope.

But maybe she's just support them, right...

Ugh I even overheard the other day when she's playing video game with my friend (yea the one that sat next to me) about something in it and the way she whined that she won't be able to have that price/rewards (?) on time before the event end it's just- SHE'S LITERALLY SCREAMING 'NOT GAY' TO MY FACE (ah not literally cus I eavesdropping them, again-).

M so sad what am I supposed to do. It's my first time liking a girl, I don't know what to do iesnfkeksnnrg.

I guess that's the second warning from nature that m better off alone.

But that doesn't mean I'm not sad though-

[cemtysmixx]

Why am I even take a liking to someone...

[cemtysmixx]

The amount of time she appear on my head is illegal-

[cemtysmixx]

Guys I was having a crush on this girl, like, for the first time in my entire life (20 years, old), I never felt attracted to someone this much 😭 But the last time I talked to her (no not really she was talking to my friend who was sitting next to me and I eavesdropping their conversa- anw), she said she already have a lover. Like, at that time I didn't like her yet. I even have a bad impression of her bruh (but s̵h̵e̵ I changed my mind shortly after 1 month...)

The worse part is that the thing make me suddenly attracted to her is just like, she gave a presentation on her group's project before the class hello? Like how stupid that reason is 😭

I was having a bi panic attacked and couldn't even concentrated to the subject...

And no, yea, I won't asked her out or doing anything about it cus I'm not stupid duh, I'm invisible anw. I don't even know if she's straight or whut.