cephalodo

he/him purple enthusiast

[sevenseasaurus]

get back, you fiends! I'll not be touching your pinned post

[cephalodo]

Forcing you to touch my pinned post by pinning this.

[pissvortex]

Elon Musk personally stepped in to unban the guys who posted pictures of my address and the inside of my apartment and then permanently banned my account for making a gay for pay joke yeah alright whatever man

[pissvortex]

This was the joke for the record

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[zwoelffarben]

How sad. Alexa, play "Shave and a Haircut."

[despazito]

Why is he always doing this shit

[dogpuppy]

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[dogpuppy]

[certified-linguistics-moment]

[notswush]

It's awesome to see these sweet boys sharing a sensitive giggle

[godblessthesickos]

World historical loser

[drwiltz-official]

[nights-at-the-opera]

Maybe the craziest UFO file the government released today? #Aliens #UAP

[kabutoraiger]

[qqchurch]

[dogpuppy]

[swordseer]

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[speedlimit15]

Of all the tags on this post this is the one that worries me most

[slut-jpeg]

what musical artist/band have you seen in concert the most and how many times have you seen them?

[zagreus]

This is one of those videos you can’t watch without feeling as though the very fabric of reality is coming unraveled

[flyer9550]

For the love of all that is holy, unmute this

[kagaintheskywithdiamonds]

same as it ever was

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

the fact that i can’t find the thela hun ginjeet/once in a lifetime remix in this video anywhere drives me fucking insane

[jetstream-tormod]

Someone better @ me when they find this remix

[zagreus]

you’ll be waiting a long time