dealing with a nonthreatening entity in your home, if you can't easily communicate with spirits
just how I'd do it, the flowchart I'd personally work with, UPG ahead, etc; take what you like and leave the rest behind.
Nonthreatening: An entity which hasn't harmed you or tried to harm you, or isn't an active threat to you or your household, even if they may have acted in unpleasant or disruptive ways.
Dealing with: Sorting out the situation so that you feel comfortable with what's going on.
This post is about resolving a spirit situation in your home that you're uncomfortable with. It's not a general guide on spirit work, and it's not a recommendation for how to treat all spirits in all situations.
Banishing should probably not be a first step when dealing with an unwanted/surprise/unexpected spirit, or learning that a spirit exists where you didn't expect to be one.
Ideally, for the diplomatic spirit worker who wants to be regarded well by the otherworlds, several other steps come first.
Decide what you'd ideally like to do
Ideally, do you want the spirit to leave completely?
Never interact with you or make its presence known?
Hang around as long as it doesn't bother room mates or pets?
Integrate into the household and be a spirit room mate?
Become a part of your spirit family?
Not saying you'll get your wish but it's a good idea to sit down and figure yourself out before you go and start moderating the life of an entity.
Like if your actual feeling is, "I do not want this guy here and I won't be comfortable in my home unless he leaves," then don't set out on purpose to make the guy a spirit home and give him house rules. Skip to the endgame step of asking him to leave.
Check on wards and protections before you take action
Not trying to be an alarmist but every now and then a random guy ends up being a big jerk, and in that situation the preferable option is to have just checked up on what tools you have on hand.
If you can communicate with spirits
Talk it out 👍 you may have to make compromises, especially if you're working with Big Guys who have a say in things, but by and large I find that if you can make the spirit a nice little house in a place they like and some solid house rules, a lot of situations are going to be resolved real fast.
If things go tits up, banishing.
If you can't easily perceive/2-way communicate with spirits
When perception isn't easy/possible, take reasonable steps and wait to see what happens.
If the stuff that was bothering you is resolved, count that as a win 👍
If you're still encountering problems, take the next step; do this until you've exhausted all options, and then move to banishing.
When you take actions, clearly affirm your intentions and expectations. Do not invite open-ended conversations that you can't participate in.
🛑 "If this spirit house isn't suitable for you, please try to let me know. I'll see what I can do to change it."
✅ "I've made this spirit house for you. Please make use of it according to your desires, but move on to another property if it isn't to your liking."
Set or review house rules
This isn't a comprehensive guide, but all you've really got to do is write down a list of rules, ritually read it off, and then stick the list somewhere you won't lose it.
A lot of spirit problems can be resolved by establishing solid house rules
A lot of panic about powerful spirits and faulty wards can be resolved by fixing accidental loopholes
Get your rules lawyer friend to help troubleshoot
E.g., "uninvited spirits aren't welcome here." Is a spirit still uninvited if you carry it in while it's inside of an object? It can get a bit tedious but it's a miracle spirits can understand human language at all, much less the miles between what you actually desire to occur versus what gets codified.
If a new spirit arrives or behavior occurs that you think is against your house rules, review your rules to see if there could be a loophole. Then, 'set' them again by re-reading them in a ritual setting. During that time, specifically ask the spirit to stop its bothersome behavior.
Divination or consulting with other practitioner friends can really help troubleshoot house rules.
Popular house rules include things like:
Don't mess with my dreams or sleep
Don't scare or make yourself known to house members or pets
Don't interfere with my spells or ritual workings, even if you're trying to help or protect me
Wait for a little while and see if that resolves things.
Make the guy his own little house
A spirit bothering someone isn't always them just being mischievous. Active spirits who roam around the house bored as hell can accidentally make themselves known. And ordering a bored guy to never do anything fun isn't necessarily a recipe for a happy household.
Make the guy a nice little area with some things to enjoy, especially little fidget toys and shiny stuff, and invite him to dwell in that area and make use of the enjoyable things.
This doesn't need to be in the shape of an actual miniature house.
Crochet basket, thermos with the lid popped open, desk organizer, pile of little cloths, small box with or without a lid, old jar, plastic tub, books stacked to make a nice private corner, etc.
Include a soft bed, which can take the form of comfortable cloths or a nice little pillow you crochet, etc.
Include things the spirit might like or use, such as coins, a fidget spinner, a mini rubix cube, a sun catcher, etc.
Spice it up by decorating it all nicely and including pretty things, like a nice printed silk scarf, a paint job or facade on the container, or lovely objects placed nearby.
Focus on privacy - give the guy somewhere to go so he can relax and unwind, and not constantly be bothered by people.
Most vitally, ensure that the spirit house won't be disrupted. Don't place or design it so that children or unwitting partners might "tidy it up" or take it down and play with it.
You don't have to do a big ritual cleansing or consecration or whatever.
Invite the guy to dwell there. Enter magical headspace or initiate ritual communication in whatever method you prefer.
"My guy, I see you are a part of the household. I've made you this house to use if you want to. Either way, bothering my partner has got to stop. If I need to talk to you for anything, I'll come back to this location. Anything I leave right next to the house is for you."
If the guy is stuck to an object, take that object somewhere nice
Learning how to bind a spirit to an object is a valuable skill for a witch. Sometimes nature does the job for you and the spirit is bound to an object on arrival.
Move that bad boy to a nice location, possibly to a spirit house you build, or maybe outside, even at a faraway location (I've left a few spirit vessels up the mountain, myself).
Make sure to positively affirm that you are taking this action to help the spirit, and your goal is to put it in a nice location.
Sit down with the dude and tell him to knock that shit off regardless of house rules
Presumably we're at this point because the spirit is still around, you don't want to actually tell him to get out, but something is happening that isn't working for you.
Despite the sarcastic section header, it's actually probably wise for you to own up to your own role in the situation.
Most spirits aren't jerks or stupid. They may be trying their best to interpret your words and behaviors.
You may be being unintentionally confusing or contradictory.
You may be laying down rapidfire changes that's making the spirit nervous or confused.
Your own magic may be creating barriers or impossibilities in the spirit world that prevent them from doing what you're asking.
They may be reacting to unseen situations you're completely unaware of.
A little humility goes a long way in soothing the waters.
Go to the guy's spirit house, if he has one, or otherwise go to where he's known to dwell; or, go to your usual working area. Enter magical headspace or initiate ritual communication.
"Hey, I need these very specific things to change. I don't mind you staying here, but it's my responsibility to care for this household, and I can't have this happening. If you are unable to stop doing this, I must politely request that you leave this household and find a new place to dwell."
(Note: If you're trying to cultivate psychism and want to be a spirit worker and so on, this is a great juncture to actually invite communication in whatever form might come - even if that communication comes slowly over days or weeks. But if that's not your jam for the present situation, you don't have to.)
(Maybe a controversial take, but you have a responsibility to do your best to do right by the spirits. We all have our limits and you also have a duty to your household, but if the reality is "I can't perceive or get input from spirits," you're limited in what you can do. Acting fairly and taking reasonable, diplomatic steps can sometimes be the best you can do.)
Enter magical headspace or initiate ritual communication.
"I'm sorry, but this isn't working out. I hold no ill-will towards you, but you must now depart and find a new dwelling outside of this property and this home.
It might be a good idea to invite him into a little vessel and then take that somewhere nice, but far away.
You can cleanse and bless a river rock and invite the guy to move in there, and then go take that somewhere you think is nice, or even just near a new apartment complex where he could find other residences, etc. I often find the vibes when transporting a spirit vessel to be very strong and they can be very opinionated about where they want to be left.
If you transport a spirit vessel to a new location, consider bringing a small offering (like a pinch of tobacco, or some bottled water) and pouring them out near the vessel in dedication to the spirit.
Announce that you're parting ways in good faith, and if you should ever meet again, that it will be in peace.
If all that fails, banishing is next
