Carpe Diem

adventures of a 24 yo engineer

[wishing-for-deathx]

Do you ever go through something so painful that while it’s happening you know it’s going to change you forever. You know you’ll never be the same again. I’m never going to be the same again.

[sugarsilk]

high standards are pure. protection from unhappiness. nothing wrong with wanting best for yourself.

[ceslauver]

2 Mar 2020. Kyoto Tour.

[ceslauver]

First attempt at Chicken Parmigiana!

[ceslauver]

Big Bad Wolf 2020 haul, wrapped and ready for reading!

[ceslauver]

1 Mar 2020. Nara and Osaka food trip.

[ceslauver]

1 Mar 2020. Nara, Japan.

Bought a one day West Kansai JR Pass because Ayee wanted to see the deer at Nara. It was my second time here and I missed the lovely autumn trees, but I still had fun, especially since I was with fellow civil engineers who stop to admire drainages and beams 😂

[ceslauver]

14 Feb 2020. Tomas Morato.

Spent Valentine’s Day w/ my lovely and single grade school friends 😜

[ceslauver]

12 Feb 2020. Ortigas.

Random steak dinner w/ these lovely ladies c/o Tere 😜

P.S. Annoyed that my posts aren’t chronological ugh but self remember that this is for documentation! Sunud-sunod sana posts mo kaya lang tamad ka mag post ayan tiis ka 🙄 yung 3 mos worth of backlog ko kaya sa IG pano na? 😅

[ceslauver]

29 Feb 2020. Kyoto, Japan.

Day 1 of 14B’s Japan trip! We arrived at Kansai Airport around 11 AM, and in Kyoto around 3 PM. We chose the early flight so that we could do some sightseeing on our first day, but we still ended up checking-in a bit late. Ate at Coco Ichibanya, our expensive meal for the day (as a cost-cutting measure, we made a deal to eat only one expensive meal per day haha), walked around Nishiki Market (with most of the shops closed since it was late), and had our first taste of Strong Zero at our lovely Airbnb. We had a very good conversation about family, career, and love. Always a good time with my college fam :)

[ceslauver]

28 Feb 2020. Dekada ‘70.

Not really sure if I want to remember this day.... Hmm maybe this will just serve as a reminder to finish the book and compare it to the play. As a book lover, I’ve never been satisfied with movie adaptions. But musicals are very different since important events/feelings are exposed through performances. I loved it and cried a lot (HAHA AM I STILL TALKING ABT THE PLAY? Lol) so I’m excited to delve into the story by finishing the book 😊

[ceslauver]

15 Feb 2020. UP Los Baños.

Went to UPLB with the team for Elbicon and to watch Orange and Lemons at the Feb Fair (they ended with Hanggang Kailan 😍). My cheap ass didn’t buy anything from the Elbicon 😅 didn’t want to spend on stickers I was sure I wouldn’t use... and I couldn’t find notebooks and shirts that I liked. But I did enjoy sitting on the grass watching performers at the Feb Fair, and it motivated me to catch the UP Fair next year. Watching artists play live is really something else.

[ceslauver]

1 Feb 2020. ACES Hike at Mt. Espadang Bato and Mt. Sipit Ulang

Went on a twin hike at Rizal with fellow alumni and resident members of UP ACES :) After two years, my schedule finally allowed me to join the org hike (I’m sorry Jed and Aya 😅). It wasn’t crowded even though we went on a saturday, and the waiting time for photo ops at the rock formation wasn’t that long. Still, it took us the whole day (7 am to 6 pm) because of the looooong stops for photoshoots haha! Mt. Sipit Ulang is just a short trek, while the climb for Mt. Espadang Bato is more challenging (and more fun!) because of the rocky trail. It was a great experience overall 😊

[ceslauver]

A year and a half in limbo

I don’t know the exact date but I think I’ve been having my quarter life crisis for 18 months already. It started when I got into my first job after graduation. I’ve always been sure of my future plans - not really down to the step by step details, but I knew who and where I wanted to be. But work came, and I learned about the countless possibilities my career can grow into. As a fickle-minded person, my dreams took on a new form each day the sun took its place in the sky. After so many episodes of this, I decided to just “wing it.” I let go of all my plans and just waited for a sign or something - I don’t know. I just got tired of replanning my life again and again. Until I realized I had no direction anymore. I felt so lost. I let myself get distracted, I neglected important relationships, I did shit that filled me with regret.

I thought I got over it - I got into travelling to different countries last year, something I’ve always wanted to do once I had the means. I thought “this is the life I want, I’m finally doing it.” Now, I don’t even check flight promos anymore, something I used to do on a daily basis. It was just another distraction.

For a while now I’ve been feeling down, even though I go out a lot (another distraction), in my mind I’m just thinking that it’s okay if life stopped already. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. The good life - succesful and happy - is too difficult and far away. I used to be excited about the struggle of getting there, but now I don’t want to go through the grind anymore. It’s just... draining.

But yesterday I talked to a couple of friends, and it lit up a dead spark in me. The path I thought closed on me finally appeared again. I tried to plan my life again - to do things I’ve been putting off and to prepare for the next chapter of my life. I made a to do list for the last week of the month before sleeping and today I managed to check one off: an investment that I’ve researched on heavily but never really went for. Maybe this will be the start of my attempt to get back up. But it’s still day 1. I don’t know where I’ll be again tomorrow.

[ceslauver]

24-26 Jan 2020. Muntinlupa.

Plan Sem 4 w/ Exe 17!

[ceslauver]

January 16, 2020. Descanzo and Inumart.

First complete Team Descanzo inuman session this year! Ended up in Inumart after... and then to a Craft Beer place.... and then a spontaneous sleep over 😂 sobrang feeling college hahaha

[ceslauver]

January 14, 2020. Second tatt.

I had my first tatt at 17. It says “living on impulse.” I may not be the same impulsive teenager (thank heavens lol) buttt I guess the wild child is still alive? Hey, i thought about this for... a full day 😂 just did my research on this design the night before. I actually went to the shop that same night but they were closed due to the ash fall from the Taal Volcano eruption. Fortunately on the second day, a couple of supportive friends came with me and spontaneously got theirs too! So in conclusion, I was actually the most prepared! Hahaha