Everything & Nothing

29 year old insomniac Avi from: https://picrew.me/image_maker/332600

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[thickness-protection-program]

[admireddisorder]

oh here u go

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

Lou Wilson Describes An Earlier Game Changer Cut

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

@jorality

[jorality]

Bruh, what?

I really need to get my subscription back because what is going on over there?

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

This is only the second time I've heard Lou Wilson say nigga (the first was on wbn) and he went all out

[chubby-cry-baby]

ilya’s first hollander “family meeting” must’ve be so sweet!!!! “okay hollanders quick meeting” (“shane should I step out?” “no” “he said hollanders” “you’re my boyfriend” “oh”) “okay we thought we could discuss the rest hockey season and the summer” and it’s just a little month by month discussion and then they start talking about Ilya moving to ottawa and “oh yes we’ll do a celebration dinner when shane drives down” “are you bringing your furniture or should we go furniture shopping?” “do you want my interior designer’s number?” “do you know what type of neighborhood you want to live in?” “yes let us know we can tour houses and send pictures” “are you both staying at the cottage the entire summer or will you take a little trip?” “i like the cottage” “me too”

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane and ilya swap jerseys during their last montreal vs boston game!!! its already public that ilya isn’t signing back with boston and it’s part of their 300 step plan of showing the public they’re friends before announcing the irina foundation.

its a show of respect as captains who have been playing against eachother for years and they weighed the pros and cons for weeks!! the pictures of them holding eachothers jerseys are very popular and circle back when they’re out and people start speculating the timeline.

[sweetangelfart]

Ilya really adores the pike kids but I think he adores and is a bit more protective of little Arthur just a tiny bit more.

Arthur who doesn't like loud noises, is moving with his tiny palms covering his ears as the TV blasts either a game or some Disney movie ruby has picked

Arthur who prefers staying indoors and playing with his Legos while his sisters chase after Anya in the backyard

Arthur who really doesnt like it when the food on his plate touch each other

Arthur who has a blinky thats almost chewed up but throws a fit if jackie tries to wean him off it.

Arthur who likes the buzz lightyear puzzle that shane and ilya gift him so much that he wants to do it every night

Arthur who loves his crocodile stuffy? Toy? , Chompy and cries everytime jackie puts it in the washing machine

Arthur who is sensitive to light but is also sacred of the dark cause his sisters have told him that monsters come out during bedtime

Ilya is the only other person apart from Jackie who is capable of bringing him from a meltdown

Ilya who brings him toys and puzzles which don't trigger his sensory issues

Ilya who loudly announces during the BBQs the pikes are throwing that all the adults are boring him and that he's gonna go and hang out with Arthur and build Legos spaceship with him. The relief on Arthur's face is visible from space.

Ilya who carries Arthur with such ease that people who don't know him believe that he might be the father of atleast 3 more babies

Ilya who can put little Arthur to sleep by rocking him back and forth with his beefy arms wrapped so delicately around the tiny little bundle of joy

Ilya who coos and softly sings russian rhymes to Arthur while he's in the bassinet

Ilya who crosses the threshold of the pike residence only to be tackled in the leg by Arthur who looks up at him with his big hazel eyes and 4 tiny baby teeth poking out of his gums and ilya swears he doesnt tear up when shane points it out

Ilya who is sure that his heart skips a beat the first time Arthur exclaims 'eh-yah!' While stretching his arms out with a big big smile on his face, waiting to be scooped up by ilya

Ilya who is the person Shane and Arthur sort of drape themselves on when things get too much and they need a breather

I could go on and on....I just love little Arthur and his uncle ilya ya know?

[sweetangelfart]

Yuna posts a carousel of ilya on her Instagram page to celebrate his birthday with the caption, "My youngest turns a year older today. Thank you for bringing your big heart and soft smiles into our lives. Your perseverance, intuition and ambition never fails to amaze me. We can't wait to see what the future has in store for you and we're so so glad to call you our son.

P.S David asked me to tell you that he is very excited about the puzzle he picked out to do with you."

All the pics are of ilya being soft 🤧

Him at the dinner table stuffing his face with chicken parm with a mountain of cheese, the marinara sauce tinge the corners of his mouth

Him and Yuna on the couch, his head on her lap, her fingers lost in his curls

Him in the backyard of his house, sat on the ground while Anya licks his face

Him and shane passed out on different parts couch on their tummies, with their fingers tangled together

Him with the pikelings treating him like jungle gym. The twins hang from his biceps while Arthur is licking an ice lolly sat on his shoulders totally zoned out and little Amber has wrapped her teeny tiny hands around one of his knees. To be noted, he is wearing one of his expensive ass ray bans and his nails are painted in the bi flag and he's wearing those necklaces from the DIY jewellery making kits for kids.

Him solving a puzzle with David at the dinner table with a blanket around his shoulders

Him posing with 2 hotdogs as if they are guns, face scrunched in mock strain

A family photo of four of them in a restaurant all happy smiles, a bit shaky due the staff being nervous

Him sticking his tongue out at shane with the TV remote in one hand keeping it out of reach while the other arm tries to push shane away

The hudcon lick™️ on the ice but hollanov in their Ottawa jerseys

Him and shane at the dock with Shane's arm around his waist and his wrapped around Shane's shoulders at they watch the sun rise at the cottage

A picture of them at their wedding, shane throwing his head back laughing, his hand on his stomach with the wedding band glinting as ilya tries to hide his smirk into his champagne glass

When ilya finds out, he blushes deep red and tries to hold back tears.

"Shaaaannneeee, mama is trying to make me look uncool!!! She's posted nice pictures and its ruining my reputation!!" As he whines and poutspoutspouts while shane laughs at his face and feeds him cake

[rainbow-femme]

Oh shit wait ok

So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports

And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else

The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized

Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning

“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”

“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”

“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”

“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”

“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”

“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”

“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”

“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”

“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”

*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”

“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”

Years later when they’re out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is “It was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.”

[rainbow-femme]

“Shane fuck Shane help we fucked up, we lost Ilya, I swear he was here one second ago and now-“

“Haas, where are you right now?”

“The club by the hotel.”

“And he’s not in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not on the roof?”

“No.”

“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”

“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”

“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”

“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”

“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”

“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”

“Did anyone bring up sushi?”

“He didn’t say he wanted-“

“Just answer the question.”

“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“

“He’s at the pier.”

“What?”

“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”

“… How do you know that?”

“Do you have any ideas how many times I have gotten this exact phone call? He’s easier to catch if you bait him with mozzarella sticks but make sure he knows he only gets them if he comes quietly. If you let him negotiate he will take the sticks and run. Cliff always fell for that.”

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[turgidturnip]

You don't even need to be a journalist, experts LOVE answering these kinds of questions. I, a regular-degular idiot, recently contacted the Smithsonian asking what kind of ink to use on mineral paper for maximum longevity, and I got a very detailed response in under 48 hours.

[chaandarchive]

[ruinedchildhood]

[that-house]

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

[that-house]

^ its like this

[gaypeople]

Jacob Princesson

[loustatified]

Ok whatever

[jewelcoatfish]

hollanov taking an after game interview together because of plot convenience reasons and ilya was chirping the opposing team about their first line points per game being barely scraping 0.4 when shane tapped his arm lightly and ilya leaned towards him. all the reporters perk up because omg are we gonna see shane hollander disciplining ilya rozanov live???? this is TEA. and ilya just nodded and said

“apologies, my husband wanted to correct that their first line pgp was 0.34. which was more pathetic than i originally assumed.”

[bee-a-ts]

the bi/pan alliance and the aro/ace alliance in my city did the funniest possible thing for pride today

[spyglassrealms]

I booted my old laptop to find a file and was once again dealt immediate psychic damage by my desktop wallpaper

I open this thing just infrequently enough that it catches me woefully off guard every single fucking time

[putnamspuppeteer]

OP do you still have the original image. Would you be willing to share it.

[spyglassrealms]

but of course.