FEAR

My father was one of those men who sit in a room and you can feel it: the simmer, the sense of some unpredictable force that might, at any moment, break l o o s e, and do something terrible.

[gifchannel]

[chadlennox-blog]

( @lydiasyoung​ !! )

          ‘ hey, y’know –– you’d look a HELL of a lot prettier if you smiled. ’

[venettaoctavia]

You are shaking fists & trembling teeth. I know: You did not mean to be cruel. That does not mean you were kind.

Venetta Octavia, excerpt of “THE BURNING”, from my upcoming chapbook, tentatively titled “Oculus” (via venettaoctavia)

[theironman]

[loseir]

He was a ruthless sun beaming rays of fire on the passing by His eyes azure like the river mouth as pink as a flower with throns they’ll make you bleed they’ll cause you to ache He’s a poisonous land don’t plant your souls there.

He’s a sweet killer with a dark heart. // Poem to Bo Weber. (via lyncoh)

[sunrisesongs]

he learned to love the way he knew to fight, with harsh hands and brutal body, never unguarded yet always intense. but you see,  the trouble was i have never wanted to be anyone’s war.

adversary, Amrita C. (via unwrittenarias)

[newgirlgifs]

You’re irrationally angry 365 days a year, Nick.

[sunrisesongs]

Oh, but why did God give us fragile hearts  and such brutal bones to house them in? I want to be all tenderness but my hands are much too harsh.

Amrita C. (via sunrisesongs)

[halflunar]

Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it—living in the worst parts, ruining myself. My inner life is a sheet of black glass. If I fell through the floor I would keep falling. The enormity of my desire disgusts me.

Richard Siken, Birds Hover the Trampled Field (via halflunar)

[chadlennox-blog]

william liddell:

     ❛ actually, i think that shit’s reserved for college. –– – FINE. whatever. you keep on living that all american dream ––– PRETENDING to be somebody you’re not for the sake of your dad. but me? –– – i’ve moved the hell on. i’m not stuck in the past, –– i’m not MARRYING my high school beard, & getting absolute SHIT out of life. ‘cause i got out, right? out of this town, –– out of the crap you put me through. so you’re forgiven, chad. don’t even worry about it. ❜

          ‘ you know what ? fuck you, billy. i’m not PRETENDING for anyone, i’m livin’ my goddamn life, sorry if it doesn’t fuckin’ meet the standards of your stupid highschool dream. and i LOVE caitlyn, that’s why i’m marryin’ her ! she’s not my fuckin’ beard because i’m not fuckin’ gay, alright ? maybe you got out of this town for awhile, but you’re back, aren’t you ? you didn’t fuckin’ escape it either. ‘cause you’re HERE. what did you expect ? for me to just turn around and say “ gosh, billy, i missed your dick so much ! remember that one time we fucked behind the bleachers ? GOOD TIMES ! ” no, because you were fuckin’ GONE, and the rest of us got on with our lives. –––– and i don’t even need your fuckin’ forgiveness, alright ? shove it up your ass like you do with everything else. ’

[chadlennox-blog]

william liddell:

      ❛ you’re SERIOUS?❜

         ‘ fuck –––– what do you want me to say, billy ? of course i fuckin’ REGRET it, alright ? yeah, i regret all of it. you know that i’m not like THAT. i’m fuckin’ –– i’m straight, dude. i was just dumb & in highschool. kids experiment and all that, y’know ? ’

[chadlennox-blog]

liza scalley:

      ‘’ i’m, i’m not —— - highschool’s over, chad. your insults don’t intimidate me anymore. you know, if you really get to it & think, it’s because existentialists . . right. noted. actually, it is ; i stole it from last week’s lecture, apart from trying to get my doctorate i’m also completing an additional BA in philosphy. just the usual stuff pitiful nerds do, am i right. so, how’s caitlyn? what happened to town’s teen dictators of bad taste??‘’

          ‘  –– – – hey, i didn’t mean it as an insult. it’s just, y’know, you’re liza scalley. you’re a lil’ weird, that’s fine. part of your, uh –– charm ! or whatever. they tell jokes at your lectures ? you lookin’ to become a –– what are you lookin’ to become, actually ? –– – right, yeah ! shit NERDS do. you’re a weird lil’ nerd, ain’t nothin’ wrong with that !  –– –– caitlyn ? yeah, she doin’ great. i think she’s doin’ some kind of... online courses, or somethin’. maybe it’s an online business ? i dunno, she’s doin’ somethin’ online, anyway. ’

[chadlennox-blog]

william liddell:

       ❛ i think the LAST thing you want is for me to spell it out for you… ❜

         ‘ spell what out ? –– his name is BUSTER, by the way, my dog. he’s a husky, got him last year. you sure you don’t want t’ see the pictures ? he really is adorable. ’

[chadlennox-blog]

📱📱📱📱📱 from NINA

What was my muses 5 last sent texts yours?

[TEXT: 14:38PM] wait is there rlly still a wage gap???😲😲

[TEXT: 18:21PM] wtf is cultural appropriation😵

[TEXT: 18:34PM] what thats dumb... isnt like ordering chinese food cultural appropriation then...

[TEXT: 18:40PM] OH... i guess that makes sense then😋

[TEXT: 11:22PM] [JPEG_269] have u seen this dog??????❤️❤️❤️

What was my muses 5 last unsent texts yours.?

[TEXT: 19:04PM] hey... thnks for like tellign me all this shit btw. i never really had like that point of view when i was a kid with my family and stuff so its cool

[TEXT: 04:43AM] i dont love caitlyn...

[TEXT: 13:32PM] so i just found out this guy i knew in high school came back to town?? we were kinda like friends but not really..

[TEXT: 01:01AM] im a terrible person arent i...

[TEXT: 00:46AM] i love my dad but sometimes i wonder if i shldnt

What was my muses last snapchat to yours?

chad: taking buster to the vet for a check up🐶😢💔chad: he’s looking at me like he knows...👀 chad: i mean the vet is a bitch i dont blame him for hating her👎🏻chad: wait can i say bitch???😬😬

What my muse saved your number as?

nina bina 😄😄👑

What contact photo my muse has set for yours?

What ringtone my muse has set for yours?

default binch

How many times my muse has called your this week?

like fckin twenty times honestly... to either ask her dumbass questions or just talk to her

How many calls has my muse missed from yours?

probs a few cause he says smth gross in a text but he doesnt want to hear her giving out to him... otherwise ? he has no friends... why tf wld he be missing her calls

[chadlennox-blog]

liza scalley:

@chadlennox !!

 ‘’ —– - i have a joke. how many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? TWO! one to change the lightbulb & one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in another world of cosmic nothingness! ‘’

         ‘ y’know, you’re real weird, scalley. –––––– what’s an existen... whatever the fuck you said ? what are half the words you said, actually. i only made it one year in college for a reason. is that even a proper joke ? ’

[chadlennox-blog]

nina darzi:

            ❝ okay: chad. my buddy, my pal, my friend. we’re going do a thing — a game! where you look at me, and fucking shut your trap for once. do you ever see on the news about asian people getting SHOT for jut being asian? or white people getting shot for just being white? no. you only see white people bitching and moaning about all the people of color they suddenly care about. you didn’t care about RACISM against asian or latino people or anyone-else-people until it was also exclusionary of YOU. and it isn’t even TRULY exclusionary — ‘cause it isn’t about you or me, chad, okay?  it’s not saying black lives matter more —- it’s just that their lives? are the ones in danger. ❞

          ‘ i mean –––– yeah, i guess that makes sense. i didn’t really see it like that before. huh. that’s kinda fucked up. like –– how there must be people who think black lives DON’T matter, i guess. you think their lives are really in THAT much danger ? ’

[chadlennox-blog]

( @ninadarzi !! )

          ‘ i’m just SAYIN’, y’ know ? i get that black lives matter, an’ all that, really ! but it’s that all lives matter. like, you’re excludin’ a whole bunch of other races, too ! not just white people. what about asian lives, nina ? what about latino lives ? don’t they matter ? i just don’t get why it’s ONLY black lives. ’