ugw: unburdened by guilt

I “““ recovered””” from anorexia and got into weightlifting and now I live in hell!!

[chadorexic]

Mmmmm relapsing bc I can’t afford food <3333

[chadorexic]

works every time 👌

[chadorexic]

Running headfirst at either recovery or relapse by being medically forbidden from intense exercise and just lying in bed for 12+ hours a day while my mom brings me food and yet I still weigh myself minimum once per day. Sometimes with clothes and headphones on right after a meal just to see what kind of psychic damage I take

[scalesskin]

stomach: growls

entire tumblr ED community:

[chadorexic]

*gets weighed at the doctor fully dressed*

My brain explaining why I need a designated doctor outfit I can weigh in advance and then every time I go to the doctor I know exactly how much to subtract

[chadorexic]

Just saw the nutrition info on the back of a package of ground lamb and I wanna throw up

[chadorexic]

Someone called my thighs meaty when I was on the brink of relapse and I want that man to know that is NOT a compliment

[chadorexic]

*slightly disappointing thing happens that’s out of my control*

Normal brain: oh well that’s how the cookie crumbles. I suppose I will just accept this and move on

My brain: starve :)

[chadorexic]

The way my phone made me an “on this day” memory album of safe food pics, body checking and the Kylie Jenner clown makeup meme...

[chadorexic]

Teeny tiny omelette recipe 🍳:

2 egg yolks (110) or 1 whole egg (70)

Cooking oil spray (I use coconut oil)

Chopped onions (4cal/tbsp) or chives (1cal/tbsp chopped) or whatever filling

Directions:

Spray a nonstick pan with cooking spray (nonstick is essential! Folded omelettes are typically made with tons of butter to prevent tearing, so to avoid this you MUST ensure no sticking!) and cook the onions or other vegetable fillings on medium heat until tender. Remove to a plate and spray the pan again.

Turn the heat down to low. Beat the egg until the mixture is one color, then pour into the pan and swirl gently until it forms a disc. Season. Cook until the egg is mostly cooked through, then pour in the filling. If folding into thirds, arrange the filling into a line slightly off-center.

Fold the omelette! Either fold it in half or roll into thirds, using a wide spatula and being as gentle as possible so as not to tear it. It’s okay if it tears a little bit, just take a deep breath and slow down!

Because the omelette is so thin, it will probably finish cooking during the folding process. Flip it once for good measure and cook it for a few seconds before sliding onto a plate.

Sprinkle with seasonings and chopped chives and enjoy!

[chadorexic]

Tiny omelette: good

Protein donuts: worst recipe I’ve ever made I can’t believe I was tricked like that

[chadorexic]

Ah god I went back thru my insta and the way I can remember every single fucked up moment that I posted anyway... literally found a selfie I took in my therapist’s bathroom moments after puking up some frozen yogurt my friend gave me bc she was worried abt my weight loss and I felt too bad to say no (then 20 mins later I lied to my therapist and said I wasn’t purging)

[chadorexic]

helth

[chadorexic]

If I’ve lost weight then there’s a 100% chance I will do this again and if I’ve gained after a week of restriction then god help me I will kms

[chadorexic]

Told myself I would weigh myself today and then delete mfp and go back to eating normally as soon as my new scale arrived but that’s a lie and I think we all know that

[chadorexic]

I spend every single day locked inside with my severely underweight roommate who never exercises and only eats takeout and frozen pre-prepared food from the supermarket (was eating animal style fries this morning). Meanwhile I cook almost every meal myself because I’m scared of restaurants (even though I bake too, with real sugar and butter and everything bc fuck logic ig) and I and work out up to 7 hours a week and yet I am so fat still... make it make sense this hurts so bad

[chadorexic]

Time for my daily acts of clownery