Samanthathathatha

[unclefather]

Keep reading

[bcat1]

[50shadesofyodaddysdick]

These are their stories

[unsanitarys-remade-deactivated2]

i hate meeting new people and them being like ‘oh ur so quiet :(’ like ????????? what the FUCK am i supposed to tell u jessica i dont even KNOW you

[only1600kids]

I NEED THIS

[qualitees]

I found it! My life is COMPLETE

[cerulean-sassquatch]

I need this!

[internets-bests]

Okay but there is also a FUCK TRUMP one I am dead 

[pr0mqueen]

I have reblogged this so many times but now theres a fuck trump one

[whats-ruining-my-life]

The Trump one should be every country’s flag

[animalbody]

depression meal: dusty glass of lukewarm water that’s been sitting on your dresser for a week

[blackboysrmagic]

@ronald_epps (@loan_love_)

[classicmeevs]

whats a mob to a king. whats a king to a god. whats a god to a non believer. whats a non believer to a poisonous dart frog

[boberta]

what’s a poisonous dart frog to a king

[carkus8]

what’s a poisonous dart frog to a second poisonous dart frog

[pinknegg]

a friend

[flightcub]

i was feeling feverish the other day and let me tell u this felt like a totally normal joke to make at the time

[fwizard]

no regrets

*watches vaguely creepy thing at 1am*

one regret

[self-healing]

stop believing that you ran out of time to shape yourself into who you want to be! stop believing that its ruined! stop believing you don’t have potential! you are not a fixed being! you have endless opportunities to grow.

[nonconcept]

[twitterlols]

[phantomrose96]

[copperbadge]

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

[avery-skontwn]

in another thread, this user writes: my name is Dog, and wen its tea, i hope they giv sum foode to me - i hope they shair befor its gon - they never do. i dont get non. :( and then replies to their own comment: my name is Cow, and this is tru - my caynine frend, its up to yu. so just be brayve and smart insted - and be like me. i lik the bred.

[copperbadge]

First of all how dare you

[chai-heaux]

Dermatologists: avoid touching your face, and NEVER pick at your skin!

Me, having 0 impulse control: unfortunate,

[meraofxebel]

I truly, truly believe that beauty is something that comes from within.

[bitchsides]

one of my biggest fears is dying after i suck a dick…. like once i watched Law & Order SVU & this dead girl had just sucked dick and had a bunch of semen in her stomach….. if they found me dead with semen in my stomach my mom would kill herself just so she could meet me in hell and beat my ass

[hellnhonor]

ok but what about dying while someone is sucking your dick ? It REALLY happened to a fucking PRESIDENT OF FRANCE, Felix FAURE (1841 - 1899) 

this fucker here

had a fucking attack while his mistress (it wasn’t his fucking wife imagine the scandal) was giving him surely the best blowjob he ever experienced and he died when he reached orgasm

His Mistress Marguerite Stenheil was soon after given a nickname who was also a pun “pompe funèbre” which usually mean mortician I think, but can be understood here as “mortal vacuum” okay I’ll never get over this fact I’m always fucking pissing myself 

google the shit if you don’t believe me

how do I know this ? oh freaking simple I just happen to share the same fucking surname as this classy dude

yeah

[einsteinsroses-blog]

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST EDUCATIONAL AND HILARIOUS POST I’VE READ

[angry-eevee]

adult life might be full of pain and suffering but at least we dont have to do PE anymore