niente @chandalftheblue - Tumblr Blog

Beauty and a Beat being the first song I hear playing at the club is wild

Endure. Endure. Endure

#thoughts #personal #elden ring pvp be like

As long as everything I do is genuine and I follow my intuition, things are gonna work out. Not only in my favour, but to the benefit of those I care about as well

#thoughts

On a totally not at all related note I have been struggling to contain my pervert thoughts and it is just really inconvenient when I'm trying to act normal but my penussy is throbbing

#like images in my mind just happen spontaneously and i have to shake my head like an etch-a-sketch or they'll kill me #and then i gotta stand all awkward or everyone gets an eyeful of bulge like please let us be decent in front of people #hashtag don't look at me

Whatever whatever whatever whatevvvvvveeeeeeerrrrr I'm gonna stay in bed for like 20 more minutes and then get up and make my bed and then my big salad dinner and then get ready for the night

#fucking #god #i just want to taaaaaaaaaalk to h- SHUT #not time #life is good and full of friends and family and joy #i trust in divine timing and in the intuition that has guided me to all the joy i've found #i'm just impatient and restless lately

Still laying in bed and the sleepy + accomplished feeling is activating the touch starved part of my brain and that's activating the yearning which activates the longing which activates the begging and pleading with the universe which activates this mood -> 🫩

#look I'm fine #but oh my goddddddddd #haha #please touch me #I mean whatever I don't need it #but also please. maybe #i know when it'll be time but i'd like to be wrong and for it to be time sooner thanks #am i insane?#generally no but in one very specific context: you betcha!

Car: cleaned. Food: fed. Laundry? Uhhh hold on I gotta lie down for a bit first

#it's clean but i need a minute #before i get to the ordeal that is putting sheets on the mattress #it always makes me sweaty when it's this warm #i ain't ready to sweat again I was just sweating washing my car in da sun

Got to talk to a friend on the phone before starting my day and it really improved my energy levels to just talk and be silly with them

#RAAAAAHHHH I LOVE MY FRIENDS #excited for going out tonight #so excited i'm washing my car #just finished the interior and now i'm gonna get started on the outside #swimtrunks time things are gonna get SPLASHED and SPLOOSHED #and after i'm done my laundry should be finished so I'll put that away/remake my bed #then i should have time for some viddy games and a nap before i get ready for tonight #OH food #lunch before washing car #dinner after nap before getting ready #shit: sorted 👍

I had the window cracked for that cat I found and while I was gonna today she clawed a hole in the screen and jumped out the second story window :(

#i had to have it cracked that room gets hot in the afternoon #man this sucks i hope she's okay #i just spent half an hour going up and down the neighborhood looking for her #i hope she didn't hurt herself #and that if she had a home already she went back there #mannnnn #good thing i didn't get emotionally attached 💀#she was a little sweetheart though #gonna walk around again in the morning light just in case but i fear she's gone with the wind #little idiot :(

Was just at petco picking up supplies for the cat I may or may not have (i have to post that i found her on a website and wait 30 days with no one claiming her before i can legally keep her/get her chipped and fixed) and the lady at the register said "you have a voice like you're trying to put someone in the mood" after the whole "hi how are you?" back and forth. Like what do I even say to that lmao, crazy thing to say to a stranger

#i just kind of brushed it off like “ahaha yeah anyways”#please i'm just trying to buy a real litterbox so my guest/potential housemate doesn't have to keep using the old roasting pan #i found it in the garage like “oh this is ancient i can use this as a litterbox for now”#but it's too shallow for her #queen deserves a proper pooping box #because she makes some royal STANK let me tell you

I like this one

#the departure #franz kafka #sometimes the goal is the first step #you figure out the rest as you go #planning too far out can make you fall prey to plans gone awry #and the first part is like #you can't have someone else start for you #they don't know what you're doing #that's one interpretation I can come up with anways

Anyways time for some mochafka

#kafka and mocha #my “bowl of coffee”#just read “The Vulture”#a violent and evocative short story #the last sentence reads:#“falling back; i was relieved to feel him drowning irretrievably in my blood; which was filling every depth; flooding every shore.”#<- the text has commas intead of semicolons i just wanted the tag to have punctuation lol #y'all can murder me in cold blood for that pun btw #i wouldn't mind :)

Oh so you'll read it but you won't watch it

#i had a mental itch #how'd i know #stuuuuuuuupiiiiiiiiid #whatever dude

In other news I'm almost finished with Kafka's short stories and then I'm gonna start on the longer ones. Starting with Description of a Struggle

#kafka was such a sadboy #and a genius with prose #every word feels so intentional to a degree that makes his words difficult to follow at times #you literally cannot speed read this man's work lmao

I wish I had the energy to give a fuck but I'm buying a pack of cigarettes

#lmao i'm only smoking on weekends I go out lately #this is what they call social smoking right?#getting the stupid yellow american spirits and lighting them with my stupid yellow lighter #WHATEVER

You know it's been a weird week and gonna be a weirder weekend when you've had Earth Angel by The Penguins stuck in your head at the same time as Somebody To Love by Queen

#brain bouncing back and forth between them like they're the same song #weird weird headspace this week #so much brain fog #so much #yearning #blegh #i want to message her so bad but *i* can't yet #stupid stupid stupid #whatEVER #NO stop I blinked and saw an image of us pressing our foreheads together?? why???#i don't think about anything like that on purpose #i only think about how i can best help her be who she wants to be #and right now that's leaving her alone #“for now” has always been attached to our goodbye #uggffhhhhh i post too much vulnerable shit whatever #tumblr is my second brain where i keep all the thoughts that are too hard to carry around all the time #so whatevverrrrrr #if it works it works

Also happy venus day! New moon this sunday, too. Good weekend for air magic.

#witchblr #going out under da new moon again #last time was a lot but in a good way #maybe i'll finish my organic tarot pull for a 5 card reading #organic tarot is when the cards find you without pulling them directly from the deck #like when I dropped the 5 of pentacles while walking but my friend picked it up later #inverted too

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