Hello. Welcome to my Zoom class.
Alright so it's time to make tea with Outro. Now this isn't normally what I drink, but I'm snowed in so I can't get milk for chocolate milk, coffee grounds, (I take my coffee as dark as my soul if you were wondering), or orange juice. But I’ve had about 15 mugs worth in the past two days so clearly I can make a mean cup of tea. (Or I’ve failed miserably 15 times and just hadn’t noticed.)
Now before we start you have to know that I'm a fraud. Getting out the kettle is so much work so I just microwaved my Marvel mug. Don't worry I didn't put the spoon in there with it.
You should also know that I don't have the best track record when it comes to cooking. I've been know to burn soup, manage to only half-cook ramen, and eat toast blacker than my soul. (I don't know how it happens ok I just take it out and it's a brick shut up.)
Ok ok let's get into it. First, get out your mug. Now I'm not going to judge your mug choice, but if it's DC themed or boring then get a new mug. But yes get out your mug and you have successfully completed the first step.
So the next step is to OW I JUST BURNED MY TONGUE. Sorry I'm drinking my tea as I'm writing this and yeah. That reminds me, we should probably go over some warnings before we continue.
1. Your water will be hot once you heat it up. Don't be a dumbass.
2. Don't put your stirring spoon in the microwave. I don't know why you would because you don't stir until after the microwave so unless you're stirring your minerals in, this shouldn't be a problem.
3. Now this comes with making anything, but make sure what you’re ingesting hasn't been poisoned by a psychopathic killer or your younger sister. (Same difference.) How can you test this? Make that same younger sister taste it before you do.
Ok back to the steps. So the second thing you're going to want to do is fill your mug with water. Now this can be done with the fridge water dispenser, or the sink, or by melting the snow in your front yard. The point is to fill up your water pretty much to the top, just don't let anything spill over.
Wow ok you've made it this far. Clap and a half for you. Now this 3rd step is a difficult one. You're going to take your mug of water, (don't spill!), and put it in the microwave. Do not put the spoon in there with it. “Why do you keep bringing this up?”, I hear you ask? Let's not talk about it, just keep listening.
Now how long you leave it in the microwave depends on how powerful that baby is, but I usually do about 2 or 3 minutes. (I think.) (I actually already don't remember but if it bubbles take it out to know?) After your time is up, take the mug out.
Now next is the tea part of the tea making process. Step 4. Now I didn't list all the ingredients at the beginning, so I uh hope you remembered to check if you have tea bags since you made it this far. Ok so if you have teabags, you're going to take your tea bag and grab the stringy thingy. (Unless your tea bags are stupid like mine and they don't have stingy thingies.) If you don’t have tea bags then uh congratulations? You made warm water? But yeah you're going to put the little bag with the actual tea into the water, and let it sit for about 4 minutes.
OK OK. You're almost there people! So by now your water shouldn't look like water unless your tea is supposed to look like water. (I'm running on no information here, leave me alone.)
Now for step number 5 I have a special little trick for you guys if you have a stringy thingy. So you're going to scoop up your bag with the spoon that most definitely didn't get put in the microwave, and then grab your sting and spin it around the bag and the spoon, (I hope this makes sense), so that the string is now tightly wound around the spoon and the teabag, and then you’re going to pull. This is going to squeeze out all the extra tea that the bag sopped up. Then you throw the bag away. If you don't have a stringy thingy then either press it on the side of the mug, (inside the mug not outside), or use your finger because you are powerful and burns don’t affect you.
That was a joke. (Remember what I said earlier? Rule number one in tea making is don't be a dumbass.)
Doing this is just so you get the most tea possible, but it's not necessary.
Now in the next step, (I believe we're on 6?), you get to do fun things. This is where you put in sugar or honey or milk or cinnamon or...you get the point. Or you can even leave your tea plain! No one’s going to judge. (Now if this was coffee it would be a different story. I would totally judge you for not drinking it black.)
Now the final step is actually drinking the tea. I know it's difficult but you've got this I believe in you.
Woo! You did it! Now grab your (I legit got half way through the word "coffee" before I realized) tea, and possibly a piece of toast with marmalade to go with it. (No I'm not teaching you how to make this, it would 100% come out hard enough to knock someone unconscious.) And now you can head off to start your day. Yes I realize I'm writing this at almost 1 am now but shhhhh. Technically it is morning now.
