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So I heard you like sad Tavy ;)
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Davyās POV: The Ask And The Answer
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Then I hear Paās gun go off. āTodd!ā I hear Viola shout from across the room; at the same time I try to yell the same thing. But I canāt.
I canāt do anything. I feel like my whole body and the whole world has numbed and slowed down till there aināt nothinā happeninā at all. But I can see Todd still standinā. Anā thatās good.
Then the whole world zooms back into normal speed anā I wish it hadnāt cos all I can see anā all I can feel is pain. Like a white hot knife stabbing into everythinā anā it all looks too bright anā too blurry anā I fall to the ground cos my legs aināt workinā no more. I think Pa just shot me.
Toddās noise blurs loudly around me anā I hear him say āDavy?ā but itās like Iām underwater. I can feel it. A hole. A tiny hole in me anā its stoppinā me from breathinā. I desperately try to rake in a breath but it jusā sends bolts of pain shootinā thru me
My ears are screaminā like somethinā terrible anā I only just manage to keep my focus as Todd comes down to his knees in front of me. Heās shoutin āDavy?ā but all I can think of is āPa?ā Did Pa jusā shoot me? But Pa loves me⦠Me anā Todd are his sons⦠Pa?
Iām starinā at Pa anā Toddās starinā at Pa anā Iām askinā āwhy?ā in my noise cos I canāt say it with my voice anā Toddās yellinā āWhat did you do?!ā anā his noise is like mine, akinā why and full of worryinā over me.
I can hear Pa talkinā to Todd. Iām strugglinā but I can hear every word heās sayinā anā it hurts hundreds of times worse than the bullet in my throat.
āI removed him from the equation.ā
My noise is all asking marks anā this canāt be Pa? Pa loves me. Pa loves me? Doesnāt he? My hand moves from the hole anā out towards Pa, I just need to remind him itās me. Yeah. He doesnāt mean any of this. He jusā forgot that he loves me. I canāt reach him tho anā heās not even looking at me. Heās not even tryinā to help me.
But heās ignorinā me⦠Heās sayinā Toddās the truer sonā¦
āThe one with the potential, the one with the power, the one Iād be proud to have serve at me side.ā
Pa wasnāt proud of me? But everything I did⦠all of those horrible things I did⦠To the spackle, to strangers, even to Todd, my own brother. Those were all for himā¦
It was all for nothinā?
Toddās yellinā at Pa sayinā heās gonna kill him- but he couldnāt do that! He wouldnāt- because then he wouldnāt be Todd anymore⦠anā now Pa donāt wanna be my Pa no more, Toddās the only family I got.
āDavid was weak, an embarrassment-ā
But I can barely hear them arguinā any more. I can barely see them⦠Todd? Whatās happening? Am I dying? Todd?
I need speak thru my noise cos I need to tell Todd somethinā. Itās my last chance. I need to apologise.
āDavy donāt-ā but I gotta. I need to sat sorry cos then Toddāll know, heāll see heās made me better. Cos before Todd I did horrible thing and I liked it. But know I know Iām a better man. Cos of Todd. (So why aināt pa proud?)
I tell him the truth about Ben.
How I didnāt mean to do it-
Anā I couldnāt tell him-
Cos he was my only friend-
An everythinās spillinā outta me-
Sorry about Prentisstown-
Not until you know Iām sorry-
- Later, After Monsters of Men-
That was a long time ago now. Almost a year or two (I forget). Itās like yer in two different places now Todd, cos part of you is down there, next to Viola, inside yer body. But the rest of you is beinā dragged up here. But yer graspinā onto life by yer fingernails anā you better well keep holdinā on Todd Hewitt or Iāll kick you back down there myself!
Itās not that I donāt want see you, I do, I want that more than anythinā in the world⦠But itās not my turn yet. You got people down there that waitinā on you to wake up anā I canāt be selfish. Thatās not who I am anymore. Not since you.
Yāknow I was watchinā. Even tho I was up here anā I couldnāt do anythinā to help you down there I wanted to make sure you were safe. Anā Jesus, Todd, when you got shot⦠if I had had a heart it woulda stopped.
It was worse than anythinā-
But yer not dead anā yer not allowed to die for a good long time. You gotta get back to everyone. Cuz the way I see it is yer either gonna come up here or down there, like yer at a crossroads. Anā Violaās waitinā for you down there so Iāll wait for you up here, cuz whichever way you choose I donāt want you to be alone. You should never be alone. Loneliness does terrible thingsā¦
So Iāll wait here Todd. I got Manchee for company, he donāt like me very much but he likes it when I tell him stories about you. Or scratch him behind the ears. Iāll wait here for you even if it takes you 100 years. So get down there anā do enough livinā for the both of us. You got so many people who care about you-
Just donāt forget me ok?-
Cuz I wonāt forget about you-
Cuz Iām waitinā here for you Todd Hewitt-
Cuz Iād wait foreverā¦