Queer as in fuck you

Arya (uh-rye-uh) ♓️♉️♊️ Trans .- ̗̀ He/Him/His ̖́-

[haraamzada-deactivated20191222]

[grimauxiliatrixofficial]

This is how you introduce a fuckin villain in dnd

[discount-supervillain]

[ohmsservice]

When you engage in discourse denial of the treatment of trans people in Hitler's Germany and lose George Takei.

[heathyr]

my toxic trait is that if i am ever inconvenienced emotionally at any time i think oh, i deserve food delivery

[queersatanic]

Tweet

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

girl what the fuck is even the theme of a midsummer night’s dream. is there even a lesson to be learned. is it just vibes or what

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

puck at the end of the play: god did you see that shit? insane, right? haha alright take it easy

[mommyhorror]

It’s just vibes

[dasfeministmermaid]

"Life is crazy sometimes. Do your best"

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

not a single person in that play is doing their best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sharkselfies]

killing eve / twilight / supernatural

[virginalbehemoth-moved-deactiva]

Doctor Who

[slayerbuffy]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[consultingfujoshi]

What We Do in the Shadows

[guerrillatech]

good time to revisit one of the funniest screenshots of all time

[alizalayne]

playing beanie babies quietly by yourself in your room

[the most sinister music imaginable link yes this is the exact song i was playing when my mom found me doing this]

[secondlina]

*Hacker voice* I'm in.

[endermaz]

is this a brooklyn 99 cold open

[deathwarlock]

Brooklyn 99 wishes it was Reno 911

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Top ten quotes from law school, week one:

“So the rules thus far are ‘don’t be late’ and ‘don’t be absent from class,’ unless you are absent because of circumstances outside your control. In that case, notify me before class. If I walk in here and you are not in your seat, and I don’t already know why that is the case… I will assume that you are dead. We will hold a brief service in your memory and then continue on, as we know you would want.”

“Yeah I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s fine, but I’m gonna make you pick the next person I call on. It’s a social experiment I run. I like to see if people pick their friends or their enemies. Wildly amusing. Anyway, be prepared for that.”

“So as the plaintiff’s counsel, you review all the possible venues and pick the one that’s the fairest to everyone….. haaaaahahaha I’m just kidding. You rig the court in your favor as much as you possibly can.”

“You’re supposed to go to a basement during a tornado. Why don’t y'all have basements?” “Can’t watch from a basement” “You’re going to die”

“My own law professor once described admiralty jurisdiction as ‘shit that happens on boats’ so [writes ‘boat shit’ on the board]”

“So then Congress gave itself a raise and America shouted, ‘Give it back you evil bastards!!!’ so loudly that they did.”

“I will provide you with pizza. For beverages, you’re on your own, but please abide by Baylor policy. Which is that we can’t have FUN.”

“And WHAT do we find outside the cities????? C O W S”

“All the desks on the third floor are reserved for 3Ls in practice court. Since you’re dying like, 100% of the time, they kindly give you a place to die. Sometimes you can see the lost souls wandering past the balconies….”

[makes a list of twenty-four things that could go wrong] [writes TRUMP in all caps as number twenty-five]

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Round two:

“You don’t want conservatives! You want someone that will redistribute a little wealth! Get some commies! But don’t ask for them out loud, or it won’t end well.”

“Occasionally someone will walk into your office and start with ‘well just as a matter of principle…’ and that right there? That’s when you pull out your extra-strength Advil, because it will be a long day.”

“You can walk into a restaurant and just say, ‘I want tea.’ Sweet is implied! If you don’t want it sweet, it’s ‘tea, hold the sugar,’ and I like that!”

“My biggest goal is to die in Texas. When Gabriel’s trumpet blows, I will be resurrected from Texas dirt… if at all. Depends on his standards.”

“And I say, ‘How much will you pay me?’ and they say ‘a shitload!’ And I say, ‘how much is a shitload?’ and what do you know? Our definitions match”

“So you see that it’s an unincorporated association, and your reaction to that should be ‘shit!’ That is absolutely the proper reaction. That’s a good reaction.”

“You know it’s not perjury if you cross your fingers, right?”

“I would definitely shank someone for pizza.”

“Right now you’re… you’re lawyer larvae. I have a sense for these things.”

“So obviously Congress sprang into action. Why are you laughing? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A QUARTER CENTURY”

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Round three:

“And by that I mean CRAC, the acronym, not c-r-a-c-k as in crack. Although I was a defense attorney for a long time, so if you want to know how to make crack, we can cover that in a side session. It’s good information. Very interesting.”

“And then I file a complaint against my employer for discriminating against me as a white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. You know… [sarcastically] the historically discriminated against crew”

“Listen, I like money. It’s the love of money that’s the root of all evil. You can like it just fine.”

“With the well-pleaded complaint rule, we take a scalpel and we carve out the cause of action. We lift it out of the body, bleeding! It is BLEEDING in your hands! You hold it in front of your face and you ask it, ‘WHO CREATED YOU?’ [groaning] ‘A federal law.’ ‘THEN YOU ARE A FEDERAL CASE!’ If it’s a state case, you cast it, still-beating, aside. And stomp on it.”

[with deep respect] “You would make a really good anarchist”

“Beaumont? How’s your family doing?” “Pretty well. I mean, everything is underwater, but it’s fine.”

“Your argument is what? ‘You can’t make that much money because it isn’t fair?’ This is America. Fair doesn’t matter.”

“We need ONLY one more thing: someone rich to sue. Can she help us?? We don’t know… until she describes one word on the side of that truck…. ‘Walmart.’ CHA  C H I N G (don’t say that part out loud)! What’s forty percent of thirty million?? TWELVE MILLION. Forty percent is the ONLY math I can do in my head, because that is PRIVATE JET MONEY, BABY! The ONLY POINT of being rich is to HAVE A PRIVATE JET, because THOSE THAT DO can MANIPULATE TIME. As you can see, I am passionate on this point.”

“See this is a tough question because legislators are supposed to make laws, but how would you know that? They haven’t done it in YEARS.”

“Listen I don’t condone murder-suicide, but like… I feel it.”

[natalieironside]

[spector]

i love tumblr so much its like a journal except worse bc i wouldnt bother opening my actual journal to write down ‘theres a bug stuck in my blinds #girlboss’ but i will most definitely click on a new post button on tumblr and do that

[whitepeopletwitter]

[biglawbear]

Studies showed that DARE literally increased drug use

[cardenvondraken]

My DARE officer was arrested for possession with intent to distribute.

[psychoticrambling]

in elementary school the DARE officer mentioned that you shouldnt sniff sharpies or white-out and everyone in the back two rows immediately took out their sharpies and liquid white-out to see if they would get high DURING THE DARE PRESENTATION

[lgbt-tiktoks]

Caption:

[Person 1: WALL-E and EVE are both nonbinary.

Person 2: What are you talking about? Keep your... Liberal politics out of my kid’s movie. WALL-E’s a boy and EVE is a girl.

Person 1: But they’re... they’re robots. They don’t have genitals.

Person 2: Yeah but like WALL-E is square and does construction and EVE is like feminine and sexy looking.

Person 1: So, gender is a matter of presentation and expression, not a matter of biology.

Person 2: No! Gender’s just about your genitals.

Person 1: Then, WALL-E’s nonbinary. He doesn’t have genitals.

Person 2: No, WALL-E’s a boy.

Person 1: Then gender is a matter of expression an-

Person 2: No! Gender is just biological!

Person 1: Then WALL-E doesn’t have a gender

Person 2: No! He’s a boy robot!

Person 1: Look I don’t have anything going on. I can do this all day.]

[lesbian-toddhoward]

[lesbian-toddhoward]

never forget the elijah wood wigs interview