chaotic coal

proud walking paradox horny asexual | loud introvert | straight if i was cis

[okoyestrainee]

Yuna realizes that Shane and Ilya are in LOVE love when she hears singing coming from the kitchen.

“Chopping carrots with Ilya,” Shane sings under his breath. “Making salad with Ilya.”

Yuna smiles softly from the dining room. This is one of her favorite things about her son. From the time he could (barely) talk, he made up little songs about anything and everything. The first time he’d done it, he’d been strapped into his car seat and watching cars go by. When he’d caught Yuna’s eye in the rear view mirror, he’d smiled with all 8 of his little teeth and waved.

“Dwiving,” he’d sung, all of 18 months old and barely able to say the word properly. “Dwivin’ wi’ Mama. Wuv Mama.”

Yuna’s not sure if it’s Shane’s way of processing the world around him, just A Thing some people do, or something special about her baby boy. All she knows is that from the first time he’d made up a little tune about Driving With Mama, everything turned into a song. When he’s comfortable and feeling at ease, Shane turns little things around him into music.

Learning to tie his shoes? “Daddy’s teaching me to tie my shoes. One lace over the other. Make the bunny ears!”

Gearing up for practice when he was 8? “Going to practice. Gonna be great. Gonna score a goal!”

Studying for a science test? “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Everyone says it because it’s true. Moving on—organelles and cell walls.”

Gearing up for his first Metros game as captain? “Taping my hockey stick. Going out on the ice. Gonna kick some ass.”

It’s something so uniquely, adorably, perfectly Shane.

Today, though? As Shane’s in the kitchen preparing a salad for lunch? For the first time, someone else sings along. For the first time in Shane’s life, someone hears the tune and lyrics that only exist in his head and joins in.

“Making salad with Shane,” Ilya croons along, hooking his chin over his boyfriend’s shoulder and wrapping strong arms around his waist. “Preparing lunch with my love.”

Shane smiles and sings back as Ilya nuzzles his neck. “Being domestic with my boyfriend. Thinking of boring things we can do together.”

Ilya laughs and kisses his ear before finishing the song. “I love to be boring with yooouuuu.”

It’s the best song Yuna’s ever heard.

**Continued here!

[snowsmoked]

Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.

His brother does.

His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.

He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.

Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.

He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.

One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.

Ilya declines.

After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.

Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.

Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.

Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.

He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.

He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.

One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.

Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.

Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.

But their phone calls are enough.

About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.

He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.

And dearly missing when they end.

[pwnties]

the idea of biting at someones shoulder while their fingers or cock slams in n outta me and i’m drooling and whining and humping whike im crying and

[jadie-was-never-here-11]

ILL CUT MY HAIR

OOH TO MAKE YOU STARE

OOH ILL HIDE MY CHEST

AND ILL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE

OOH OOOH OOOH OOH

TURN OFF YOUR PORCELIAN FACE

I CANT REALLY THINK RIGHT NOW AND THIS PLACE

HAS TOO MANY COLORS ENOUGH TO DRIVE ALL OF US INSANEE

ARE YOU DEAD?

SOMETIMES I THINK IM DEAD CAUSE I CAN FEEL GHOSTS AND GHOULS WRAPPING AROUND MY HEAD

BUT I DONT WANNA FALL ASLEEP JUST YET

[my-platonic-chemical-romance]

You just woke me like a fucking sleeper agent

[jadie-was-never-here-11]

I’m glad 🫶😭

[chaotic-coal]

my trans man senses are tingling WHERE MY T

[lexthermxtt]

need a boy to let me experiment with his body. just lay back and let me watch how you twitch, when you squirm, the sounds you make. find out every little bit of your pleasure by studying you, you don't have to be nervous, the most beautiful things deserve to be learned. spend hours tracing my fingers along you, feeling every little pulse beneath your skin. god i could just tear you apart you're so handsome like this

[ninis-dollhouse]

david hollander who loves his wife so much that when baby shane’s friends asked what his parents names were he said “sweetheart and david”

[muttlure]

can we bring back fingers in mouths??? please??? where did that go???

[k9seraph]

Hufff.. oral fixation ...hufff

[normal-about-hollanov]

married shane does NOT play about ilya when it comes to the press. he's letting out a decade of pent up 'wheres the fucking translator? what do you fucking MEAN you don't have one?', instant 'rephrase that' to the offending journalist when ilya hesitates over a question, gets into full blown forget-the-media-training arguments when it's implied that ilya is somehow stupid for not speaking perfect english, n switches between russian, french, and english to make interviews as easy as possible for ilya. and of course ilya is fully capable of speaking english. he has been since he was a teenager. but it also won't stop him from giving shane the biggest wettest lover boy eyes n raw dogging him crazy style the moment its over.

[pawsnsaws]

i loveee spoiling my puppy dog

you want that collar? already bought.

those ears and tail? of course baby, anything for you. it's expensive? so what! i work for a reason, you dumb thing!

you want a little treat? go pick something out pup, owner will get it<3

nothing better than spending my money on my precious little boy.

[argillaforma]

send biceps freckles?

[chaotic-coal]

i need a love like this :(

[argillaforma]

after seeing a rumor on twitter the raiders discuss the age old question: is he gay or european?

[laciffo-natas]

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

Born this way

You will never silence us. Happy pride to all!

[actuallysara]

"There's Hudson looking sexy as hell"

[argillaforma]

connor storrie is like if a boy was a girl who was a boy

[chaotic-coal]

as a trans man i take connor storrie to have the beauty of a trans man

[littlegirlinvisible]

CONNOR STORRIE Serving pure drama and cunt at the Saint Laurent Men’s Summer 27 show. The actor turned heads with a look featuring over-the-knee faux leather boots, which the press already dubbed “kinkiest” and “Berghain BDSM session-ready.” (June 23, 2026)

[pxssionate-intensity]

Ilya and Shane, on top of being The Lovebirds Of All Time, are best fucking friends.

Shane is the #1 person Ilya gossips with. Since Shane isn’t the best on picking up subtext, all of the drama Ilya has to share is a complete surprise to him. Which makes him both the most entertained by the gossip and the most entertaining gossip partner.

Shane has an extremely dry sense of humor, and in public he’ll whisper deadpan commentary into Ilya’s ear while Ilya tries not to cry laughing.

Ilya has a very dark sense of humor that makes most people who hear it uncomfortable, but not Shane. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious every time.

Ilya and Shane love to sit in the same room, do separate activities, and barely speak to each other. Shane will read a book while Ilya plays a video game, and one of them will have their feet in the other’s lap.

While everyone in the league thinks Ilya is a huge asshole, Shane thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, Shane usually agrees with Ilya’s chirps and will not defend anyone against them.

I just love the idea that they’re absolute best friends.

[gaynehollander]

I'm a firm believer that Cliff Marleau had to be told that Shane Hollander and Montreal Jane were the same person. I am of the belief that when the Fanmail video leaked, Cliff thought "oh, it must not have worked out with Montreal Jane but my boy bagged Shane fucking Hollander, so it's fine." He does think it's a little funny that both of the people Ilya's been seriously involved with are based in Montreal but he still doesn't put it together.