The Chaos System

[system-of-a-feather]

So #GetSplitOffNetflix Just Boomed on Twitter

So I felt I would spread it a bit on Tumblr and just say we are giving it a second go to take down this shitty ass movie that has become literally the bane of most people with DID.

I went on a few rambles about it on Twitter and I am far too lazy to share them here (plus I don’t want to have my Tumblr be a drama fest) but lets go~

Signal Boosting the Petition

https://www.change.org/p/netflix-get-split-off-netflix/psf/promote_or_share

Lets try this again boisss

Also anyone who wants to “debate” or get educated or whatever about the problematic nature of Split or anything, I might respond / be open to discussing it on my general account @feridthesassygayfriend since I try to minimize the drama / tensions on this blog.

Also if any of yall wanna tell trauma survivors to “get over” the damage a movie has done and wanna call us cry babies, go fuck your self. Peace

-Riku (Host)

[lethe-system-deactivated2022073]

Me, fronting:

*rambles about my headmates*

From the back:

[animatedtext]

[naomifranq]

I jotted down for a friend of mine some tips and notes on how I approach drawing hair, and things I keep in mind while doing so, and thought I’d share. There are loads of other ways to do it, and the learning never stops, so I hope this helps!

[chaoticdidsystem]

Age 12-16: (Violet in charge, very logical and academic. A+ to High Cs in GCSEs)

Age 16-20: (Rose in charge, man hating, rad-fem who drank way too much and motorboated all fem friends with big boobs)

Age 21-23: (Dee in charge, socialising and learning how to keep us alive, learning healthier coping mechanisms)

Turning 24 on Friday; I feel like Rose is trying to become co-host again and this could be problematic with the friends we've acquired during the Dee years....

Are we the only system with these kinds of problems?

[chaoticdidsystem]

I found some wigs for a couple of my alters.

Whilst at the moment Violet and Rapunzel are using the same wig, we're thinking of getting something different for one of them.

It's difficult to decide as the wig suits both of them really well (personality wise and physically).

If anyone has any suggestions then we're than happy to receive them.

Our host, Dee, isn't wearing a wig here but o thought it'd be nice to just have a post about our girls.

[scenessystem]

When I accidentally bring up my abuse in normal conversations

[crow-operating-system]

Tumblr after watching Venom: can you imagine having another being living inside you??? And having them take over your body???

Everyone with DID/OSDD:

[chaoticdidsystem]

Dating a System

Dating a system can be complicated and we understand that it can be challenging for everyone involved, especially those who don’t fully understand how DID/OSDD works.  Our host, Dee, is in a polyamorous relationship with some amazing people but at the beginning there were some loose ends that needed clearing up.  So whether you’re dating a system, or are a member of a system that isn’t too sure about how your other alters may feel here is a bit of advice to take into consideration.  Please be aware that just because we choose to have a poly relationship it may not be the best for you. 

- Just because you are dating one alter, does not mean you are dating all of us. - You are just as entitled to say no to any alters as we are to say no to you. - We are all our own people and you might not be attractive to all of us, and we may not all be attractive to you - this is okay.  - It is the decision of everyone involved (including partners outside of the system) to decide whether other alters are allowed to date other people or the body stays monogamous.  - You are valid, whether you are a part of a system or you are dating someone in one. Your opinion matters and should be taken into consideration when making decisions. 

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

seeing a therapist is not shameful

[system-of-a-feather]

I cannot reblog enough.

-Riku (Host)

[chaoticdidsystem]

System Allergies

A friend recently said they did research on DID/OSDD systems and allergies. They said the research they had seen said that different alters have different allergies and they can affect the body. I would just like to clear something up about this misinterpreted factoid. 

Can alters have different allergies? Technically yes, within the inner world different alters can have different allergies that can affect them there. An alters personal allergies will not affect how to body works and if the body has an allergy than everyone is affected by the allergy when they are fronting. 

How do allergies work? Allergies occur when our immune system believes something to be dangerous to us, and will alert the brain by creating physical symptoms to whatever we are allergic to. For example, our body is allergic to something airborne (we still haven’t figured out what it is but thankfully it isn’t something that can cause fatality) and when we are exposed to this our body will come out in heated, raised rashes. 

Conclusion The immune system has nothing to do with neurology where as DID/OSDD are dissociation disorders which are connected to how our brain works. So whilst the alters in the inner world may have different allergies, the body itself will only be affected by certain things and whilst fronting all alters will have the same allergies. 

[chaoticdidsystem]

Gaslighting Myself

TW: Panic attacks, being gaslighted, mention of r*pe.

So today I bumped into three different ex-boyfriends. All weren’t bad guys in the sense of they didn’t do anything that set me off in any way, we spoke positively and had good conversation. It wasn’t a big deal. 

Eventually I went to a store on my own, (I’d spent the whole day with friends), and this was a store that one of my abusers used to go to, and even though I haven’t seen them there in a long while I had a panic attack at the thought of potentially bumping into him.

Usually this wouldn’t cause me any distress, but then usually I have people around me to keep me strong and to keep me from having panic attacks as I feel safety in numbers. I haven’t ever experienced such a large panic attack in my life; and I suffer from an anxiety disorder. 

I feel like crap, I came home and was asked if I was okay because people can tell I feel absolutely shattered from the experience. More friends know what happened, more friends who have a stronger disliking of my abuser. 

I’m not the kind of person who wants everyone to base their judgements on my experiences but it wasn’t something I could hold in any longer. Eventually Jace came forward and allowed us to get home safe without extra panic. I feel lucky to have him in my head as everyone else seemed too worried to come forward. 

Though the more I think about it, it seems that he came to be because I knew that with the abuser I was terrified to come into contact with today, it wouldn’t have happened had I been male. At least this is how I’ve heard others explain why their alters have come to be. It makes sense for Jace. 

And Jace if you read this; thank you. It means so much that you are a part of me and able to help me be strong. You’re amazing!

Eventually it got to a point where I remembered talking to my abuser about what happened but couldn’t find anything to do with the conversation. I ended up gaslighting myself; questioning whether I even happened. Luckily one my friends showed me screen shots and I was okay - but I was terrified that it never happened. I essentially gaslighted myself. 

[chaoticdidsystem]

Meet the Alters - Rapunzel

Name:Rapunzel Age: Unknown but estimated around 4-5 Ethnicity: White/Norwegian  Accent: Mute Role: Little Sexuality: Undefined Description: Rapunzel has only been front twice during the time we’ve been aware of OSDD and only once has she actually told her name. Rapunzel isn’t a fictive, she chose her name because her favourite princess is Rapunzel. She doesn’t front much, but when she does it’s mainly to talk about her favourite toys in the inner world and trying to convince the bigs about what toys to buy for herself and the bodies daughter. There isn’t much known about her so this post is pretty short compared to other alters.

Likes and Dislikes: Disney movies, stuffed animal toys, Princesses. 

[chaoticdidsystem]

Meet the Alters - Jace

Name: Jace  Age: 20 (does age) Ethnicity: White  Accent: Unsure (not present often) Role: Persecutor Sexuality: Heterosexual Description: Jace doesn’t come forward often so we don’t know much about him, he likes to explain things quite a lot, it’s believed this is because he’s anxious of being misunderstood. Unfortunately even within the system this was misinterpreted as him being a know-it-all which we not understand isn’t true and he just simply wanted to make sure that everyone who is aware of our disorder knows enough about it that we can relax when around people. It should be noted that Jace at the moment in a voice in the back of the head telling us not to share information with people beyond what is necessary to help people understand the disorders we have. 

Likes and Dislikes: We are unsure of Jace’s interests at this moment in time, however he does perk up and nearly break our neck when he hears a good motorbike energy or we catch sight of a pretty car. 

[chaoticdidsystem]

Meet The Alters - Violet

Name: Violet-Jade Age: 32 (does age, but very slowly) Ethnicity: White British Accent: London - Cockney Role: Protector / Mother Hen Sexuality: Asexual Description: Violet is our main protector and she keeps us all as safe as she can. She is an absolute treasure to the system and even looks after everyone outside of the system. She mainly comes forward when we’ve had a bit to drink. Before we found out about the OSDD, our friends would tease us about turning into a chav when we were drunk and we later found out that Violet comes out and we have a cockney accent that some friends mistake for a lisp. 

Likes and Dislikes: Violet loves reading! She is a very literate person and enjoys learning about different perspectives whether from a fictional novel or a non-fiction article online. When it comes to learning more about the world factually, Violet prefers to learn through videos and short pieces of writing, however Violet is willing to go through an entire novel if it’s a gripping fiction. Violet also enjoys writing, and has come up with many pieces of work and is probably the reason we got A’s in English during GCSE’s 

[chaoticdidsystem]

Meet The Alters - Rose

Name: Rose Age:25 (Doesn’t Age) Ethnicity: White British Accent: East Midlands (can change between a high shrill to a low husk) Role: Persecutor/Protector Sexuality: Homosexual/Lesbian Description: Rose is the most regal of us all and she knows it. Before we realised we had OSDD people would often tell us that we seem to have spikes of being really posh - later down the line we realised it was Rose. 

We have actually been aware of Rose since we were sixteen but as the host (Dee) is Pagan we came to the conclusion we were possessed (which is often what it feels like when you’re going through switches and you don’t know what’s happening). As time went on Rose was quite hostile to a few people we knew that she didn’t feel were good for us. 

As much as her instincts were always right, she definitely took extreme measures that the host (Dee) deemed too far. We all eventually came to an agreement that she was to talk to us before doing anything drastic and we will work as a team. 

Likes and Dislikes: Rose likes learning about real life horrors such as serial killers and cannibals (not in an admiration way, just through being intrigued by what goes on in their minds.) She also enjoys shopping, and we would never have to clean clothes again if Rose had free reign of money. Rose is definitely the fashionista of the system and really loves to do our make up and tries to find different styles that expresses every single of us. Unlike the rest of us, Rose loves music from the late 90′s to the mid 00′s to the point that one of her positive triggers is ‘Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me’ by an artist called Tata Young. 

[chaoticdidsystem]

Meet The Alters - Dee

Name: Dee Age: 23 (Ages with Body) Ethnicity: White British Accent: East Midlands Role: Host Sexuality: Bisexual Description: Dee is the current host who has taken over when Robyn went dormant. We started going by Dee when we were sixteen years old but didn’t realise we had OSDD until late last year. Dee is a lot more assertive than Robyn but still bites her tongue at times (unlike Rose, who we will write about soon.) Dee is extremely charismatic and whilst she isn’t a trauma holder, still gets quite exhausted from pretending to be as neuro-typical as possible. The reason why Dee likes to act as if she is neuro-typical is because she has been around a lot of people who make their mental problems their entire personality and Dee wants to prove that she can be strong and that she can fit into society. Dee is also main carer for the bodies child. 

Likes and Dislikes: Dee really enjoys singing, it’s one of her favourite pass times; she also enjoys reading but can never fully stay focused on the book she is reading (potentially because of Violet who loves to read more). Dee likes to watch shows on Netflix including thrillers, romantic comedies and horrors. She also loves going on walks through a nearby country park when the weather is nice.