Daughter of Hades

Enyo(she/they)25- ♒Queer🌈. BPD/ADHD. Welcome. Dont mind me, I'm just venting⛈️. i pretend i exist sometimes. some things I like: writing,sleeping, daydreaming. like a lot of aesthetics(dark ac, villiancore, alt/grunge)

[airplanned]

We all agree, right?

AI to write your novel is wrong

A bargain with a demon to write your novel is okay

[nondelphic]

“you’re a writer, can you explain your process?” yes. first, i panic. then i procrastinate. then, in a fit of productivity at 3 a.m., i create chaos.

[nondelphic]

plot twist: my main character is actually just me with better hair and more dramatic life choices

[resqectable]

“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell…”

— Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever

[chaoticenyo]

No, because do you know how hard it is to pretend that I’m not dying to rant about certain things that I feel passionate about? How exhausting it is to not “overreact”? That when I’m establishing boundaries I’m so afraid of being left that I let them do whatever they want with me? And I have to mold myself and fold myself and make me small enough, tolerable enough, not loud, not even overwhelmed, not triggered, not so obviously me to be even considered someone worthy????

[chaoticenyo]

There’s a kind of sad calm that comes when you realize and accept that no matter what you do, how much you try and what you want, you will never be enough.

[chaoticenyo]

At what point all the broken mess that’s become who I am starts to make sense?

[chaoticenyo]

*me, on the verge of a breakdown*

My SP: I like how calm and collected you are

Me af

[chaoticenyo]

I’m so tired of being too much to handle and never enough to love.

[handweavers]

who are you when you are not watching tv or movies? when you aren't playing video games or reading a book or fanfiction or listening to music or whatever other kind of media that you engage with? who are you when your mind isn't in another world or story, when you are forced to sit with yourself and the only experience you have is your own sensorial life? can you define yourself outside of what you consume? who is that person? do you like them? can you bear it? can you bear it?

[chaoticenyo]

“No, no it’s fine!!” *will fully spiral into a meltdown.

[chaoticenyo]

Am I the only one who feels detached from reality? Like life is going through me? Instead of me living? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, feeling lost and finding out that a week has passed. And I have a vague memory of it but I can’t process it well enough. And then a month has passed and I’m still trying to figure out if I’m alive or not.

[chaoticenyo]

Someone makes fun of something you like and suddenly you are 10 again, and being called weirdo by the other kids non stop. Suddenly you remember why you became quiet and started masking most of what makes you you

To the point where you start asking yourself who are you at all.

[octopussoap]

are you ever just doing something normal like washing dishes and then start crying because “she was a non active member of the order of the phoenix and did not fight”

today I was in the shower and it was “Did you get my note? I love you”

@senlinyu writing lives rent free in my brain

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[honeypleasejustkillme]

bpd is turning nothing into everything, its knowing you’re being irrational and not being able to stop regardless.

[swanyneptune-deactivated2023032]