“For a while I did.” He told the other with a small smile, he mostly caused havoc with his father and then his mother would roll her eyes at the two of them, but those were the early days. Before the arguments and the shouting that would keep him awake in his bed before he heard a quiet knock on the door from his sister, after that his energy had been bottled up inside of him until he broke. “Just-… relax, I need to sort of be in your space so sorry in advance.” He told the other with a small genuine smile. He sat in front of the other, bringing Charlie’s hands up to rest on either side of his face, him doing the same before he rested his forehead against the others and closed his eyes, asking the other to do the same.
Normally when he read other people’s thoughts it was like he was pushing through a door that had been left ajar, many people didn’t think of closing the door to their mind often, not realizing there would be someone there wanting to gain access and a lot of the time, he did it by accident. Not realizing he was in someone’s head until their thoughts flooded him. This was different though, it was him unlocking the door in his own mind, having it wide open as he invited Charlie in causing a shiver to run down his spine when the connection was made. He had to focus then, bringing up the memories from the previous night like a reel in his mind, Charlie stumbling over to him drunk, calling him a monster, them talking about the other and how Eren knew he didn’t want to be King but knowing he would be a great one if the day came to it. Charlie coming out to him, wanting him to message Aaron for him and Eren bluffing. He made sure to move quickly passed that memory however. There was the proclamation of them liking one another and the returning to Charlie’s room, the vulnerable conversations that had take place where he had laid himself out in front of the other, letting him see him in a way he never had before. Then of course the kiss, he planned to leave it at that, but then his mind betrayed him, the thoughts of the feeling of Charlie’s hands on his skin as he tried to push his shirt up, the want and desire that was coming from both of him but him putting a stop to it. Charlie asking him to promise not to avoid him and him promising Charlie that they’d have time and that he wasn’t going anywhere.
As he pulled back he felt drained, his hands falling limp at his side as he felt lightheaded and woozy. He had never used that much power before, had never felt the repercussions of pushing himself further then what he probably should have and he knew his abilities would be spotty for the rest of the day and his control non-existent. He also knew this feeling of weakness would stick with him too, power always came with a price he reminded himself. “That-… that should tell you that I don’t want to walk out that door either.” He spoke, almost out of breath as he tried to focus his senses.
Now that Eren was up close and personal with him, he realised it did feel familiar, the other’s breath brushing up against his nose, the feeling of his hands on his jaw. Charlie took Eren’s face in his and in an instant he was transported into his mind, watching all the events of yesterday happening before him. It was so strange to see himself from an outsiders perspective, and he had to force himself not to just focus on everything he did wrong and how he looked even though he wanted to. Seeing everything, just as Eren recalled to him was somewhat comforting. That he wasn’t lying this whole time to trick him. Hearing himself confess all these things and then kissing the other wasn’t giving him anxiety like he thought it would, it was oddly calming in fact, that he’d said all of this to him before, things he’d been wanting to say for years and only needed a little bit of liquid courage to come out. Seeing himself try to lift Eren’s t-shirt caused his eyes to widen, and suddenly the calm that had washed over him was gone. He felt like an idiot, trying to do something like that in his state. He was brought back though, by their confessions at the end. By himself essentially begging Eren to stay, to be there and to not avoid him.
Charlie felt Eren’s hands slip and he opened his eyes. “Hey, let me help you,” he said, trying to guide the other to lay on the bed while he regained his energy, passing him the now-cold coffee from his bedside table. “I’m honestly a little speechless,” he said after a few moments of silence. “Except for me saying that stupid thing and trying to get you to sleep with me, which I am incredibly sorry for by the way.” He was just glad that the other respected him enough to not go through with it. Charlie moved to sit next to him on the other side of his bed, “Thank you for doing that for me,” he said genuinely. “I believe that now. And I don’t want you to go either. Not after that.”