i'll be the queen and you'll be the king

Princess Calista of Charmington. Daughter of those who once called themselves the loveliest in the land... until my twin Bella and I were born, of course. Our names mean beauty, and if it's the fairest of them all you seek, then look no further, for you've found her. I'm an 8th grader at Auradon Prep, but everyone knows that school is just a silly place to spend our time until our turn to be queen of the land.

[charmingcalista]

atlanticashurricane:

You say “a regular threesome” like that isn’t already a way great thing! Trust me, guys know when they’re getting more than one girl, there aren’t many girls with four arms and legs. Yeah, I’ll say you and your sister aren’t alike - I’ve never seen her so interested in a high school party, you’re definitely the fun one. You know, for a lot of people, that’d make you the hotter one in their eyes, too. The more fun you are, the more people like you, it’s like science.

If you say so! I’m not like, a seasoned threesome haver or anything, and it’s still like incest for me and Bella so maybe you should pick like, a girl and her best friend or something instead? Even mom experimented kissing Queen Amelia one time, it sounds like it’s something everybody does. Blonde and fun, don’t forget! I mean, I’m totes willing to pave my path in high school but it would be nice if I came in and people already knew that about me.

[charmingcalista]

darlingcupcakepan:

A clone, that’s brill! Is…is anyone smart enough to build a clone? Or, like, I could ask someone to make one with magic, I guess, though that’s probably a violation of like every law; it’d be worth it though! OH, you should def give Moonshine a makeover! She let me tweeze her eyebrows, but that hurt so much that she doesn’t trust me anymore with the beauty life, so someone’s has to handle it, and you’ve got natural street style so you’re a sensible choice! Prince Adam, sigh. It’s such a shame his brother isn’t nearly as fun to be around, but you could do way worse - and at least there isn’t much competition! I could never forget that your mom was a cheerleader! She’s basically like an aunt to me even if she doesn’t visit Neverland as much as Mom thinks she should. A message which, by the by, you should feel free to pass on if you’d like.

Maybe that Bree girl? She seems like she’s a freaky supergenius, but she’s also like only in eighth grade like us, so you may as well just ask your sister. Unless you don’t want to ask your sister, that’s okay too! What about threading? Then her eyebrows are gone all in one rip, it might be like, ripping a bandaid off and better for her than your method. Not that your method isn’t great -- you were totally trying to spare her the pain of threading, you’re such a good sister. He’s not? That’s too bad, princes are supposed to live perfect lives, not be boring. Of course I’ll pass it on, but you guys are totes welcome in Charmington anytime, too. I mean, of course they’d never forget mom’s Neverland roots, but well, Charmington is usually cleaner than Pixie Hollow!

[charmingcalista]

atlanticashurricane:

Because, like, one hot face and two boobs is amazing, but two hot faces and four boobs? You don’t have to be good at math to know that’s, like, a billion times better! The different color hair is kinda cool, I think - stops dudes from accientally calling you your sister’s name anyway, I bet, so no feelings get hurt and no face gets slapped, it’s a win win. Candy necklace outfit? Sounds sweet! Anyone gonna get a taste of that, you think? 

That just sounds like a regular threesome to me. If we’re identical, then you’d get confused and it’s almost like you only got to hook up with one of us! That’s definitely a plus, I’d like, go totally nuts if anyone mixed me up with Bella, we’re not the same at all. I... don’t know, I don’t think so! But it’s a high school party, anything could happen.

[charmingcalista]

darlingcupcakepan:

A twin’s clothes sound super convenient, oh my Beast! Is it too late for me to get a twin? I mean, I do share stuff with Margarita sometimes, even if her style is a little different than mine - it’s got some cute pieces! And Moonshine always buys sweaters that are too big for her and they fit me like cute crop-top sweater that go great with skirts in the colder months, actually. Ew, Prince Hurricane may be a prince but he’s a total perv - if that was just an example, though, yay, because I totally get it now! Good luck marrying the better boy, or not, if you want to keep your castle. All cheerleaders are good dancers, but not all dancers are good cheerleaders, and thats’ why we’re superior, among other reasons. Omb, yes, yes, please! I need more community service if I want a shot into getting into Round Table University’s cheer program after Auradon Prep - RTU is seriously competitive for sports, and not just good grades and captainship cut it anymore, you know.

You could get like a clone? I don’t think they make twins this late, giving birth to a full sized adult would hurt. Wow, really? Moonshine should try borrowing some of your clothes sometimes, too; I’d like, love to give her a makeover someday! Right, no, I would never marry someone gross, of course. He was just an example because he invited me to some party where no one wears clothes so he was like, fresh on the brain. I wouldn’t mind marrying a better boy and getting a better castle -- maybe I could marry like, Prince Archie or something since Prince Adam is taken. That’s a super awesome catchphrase, you should use that when you advertise try outs. Totally! I’ll talk to my parents tonight; they know what a big deal being a cheerleader is. My mom was one, too, in case you forgot!

[charmingcalista]

darlingcupcakepan:

Luck knows what it’s doing then, yay! You got lucky too! I would kill to have a twin, that way I’d know what outfits look good on me without having to try them all on and ruin my hair. Awww, I love your Grandma Snow White, she’s an icon even now that she’s getting o-l-d; serious question, though, are you going to be the next best queen of Charmington or does that honor go to your sister, because that’s super confusing! Mom says it’s not nice to say anyone is a loser, but my parents also say it’s not good to lie, so I’m glad that you know that cheer is where it’s at! They try to be as cool as us, poor things, but they don’t succeed, and you have to go where the talent goes, right? If you need some extra help, I’d love to be of assistance! That could count as community service, right? Teaching you moves? Would you sign an hours sheet for me?

Oh, absolutely. And it’s like, double the closet space since I can wear anything of Bella’s if I really want to. I think my style’s a little better than hers, but occasionally she picks out stuff that’s cute. You’ve got lots of sisters, though, do you ever share clothes? It is super confusing but I think it depends on who of us marries the better boy. I mean, hello, if I’m marrying like, the crown prince of Atlantica and she’s marrying a commoner or something, then obviously I should give her Charmington and embrace my new home under the sea. Dancing’s fun but I’d rather be a good dancer and a good cheerleader, so that I’m one of the best ones on the squad. Really? I would love that, and I’d get my dad to make sure that it counted as community service, he knows people.

[charmingcalista]

atlanticashurricane:

You better, or you’ll never make it to high school with the big boys. Oh, yeah, sweet, you were the twin! Twins are the ultimate dude-fantasy, you girls are gonna be so popular, I can see it already. Caution tape is the norm, you see a lot of garbage bags too, though. Or blankets tied up with scarves for the lazy people. I bet you could come up with something interesting, though. 

Why is twin the ultimate fantasy? I mean, we have different colored hair, so we might not be as exciting as a totally identical set, but it’s Bella’s loss that she won’t take the plunge and go blonde with me. I don’t want anyone to think I’m garbage -- candy necklaces it is, then!

[charmingcalista]

atlanticashurricane:

Only a few more months, right? Are there other girls in your grade as pretty as you or have I already met the creme of the crop? I don’t know what being three helpful means, but if you appreciate your body and appreciate dudes like me appreciating it, too, we’re gonna get along fine. Oh, ABC is Anything But Clothes - it’s like a dress code, minus the dress. I think I’m gonna wear a stack of pizza boxes, but I’m not sure yet. It’s fun.

Ugh, too many months if you ask me, but I’ll live. You’ve met the creme of the crop, although I guess my twin Bella’s still kind of cute. Her hair’s sort of mud colored and her boobs are smaller than mine, but her face is almost as perfect as mine is so I can’t criticize too much. That does sound exciting. Do girls show up wearing candy and caution tape? That seems to be how they do it in the movies.

[charmingcalista]

darlingcupcakepan:

Thank you, I know! Imagine me as a blonde, yeck. And Phil would look so funny with frosted tips, but it’d be way less sexy on him than his natural hair. It does work for some people, though, like Pandora! She’s queen of the blondes, and you’re like one of her court’s pretty princesses! Oh, no, I don’t believe in hair product that you can buy at, like, stores and stuff - I make my own, but it’s all top secret, shh! Breaking a nail is the worst, you poor thing! I recommend classes, though, and maybe some fake nails to keep your real ones safe. Ballroom is good, too, but it makes you sound like more of a dancer and those girls are such wanna-be-cheerleaders it’s not even funny. At least you’d have a Plan B.

I’m sure you’d still be cute, but you just got lucky and were born with the color you were meant to have. I can totally bow down to a queen, I know that I have to wait my turn just like mom did. I mean, she wasn’t born a queen and now look at her, she’s the best queen Charmington’s ever seen -- totes offense to Grandma Snow White, I know getting her face on TV everyday is cool and all but she like, left behind a castle and a husband. Yuck, she actually had to work and stuff. Oh my Beast, no, I can’t get cut and end up on the dance squad, dance squad’s for losers. I’m going to go start practicing like, right this second, there’s no time to waste.

[charmingcalista]

FMK: Aiden, Paisley, Ludwig

Ugh, gross, boys my age are so basic.

F: Aiden I guess, he’s like a villain kid and girls love bad boys.M: Paisley, his sister could help me get onto the cheerleading team.K: Ludwig. Who’s that?

[charmingcalista]

atlanticashurricane:

Oh, sweet! Can’t wait till you’re walking the halls of Auradon Prep, that’s gonna be a great day. Have you always been this hot or is it, like, a new development? Because you’d totally be a fun addition to my parties. I’m having an ABC party like, next month. Too bad you’ll still be, you know, learning pre-algebra or whatever. But there will be cool ones in the fall, too!

I can’t wait until I’m walking the halls of Auradon Prep, either; my time to shine has come, I’m sick of sitting around in middle school pretending this is where I belong. New development, obvi! Before I was baby-face cute, but certain body parts thinning out while others got fuller was tres helpful. ABC Party? What’s that? I took pre-algebra last year, I’ve obviously got time.

[charmingcalista]

darlingcupcakepan:

I’m more partial to brunettes myself, but I guess we’ll know when you both get boyfriends for sure which of you is the fairest - the prettiest girls attract the prettiest boys, fun fact. For preparation, make sure your hair stays shiny, your waist stays small, and practice being loud! Being loud is important! Also, if you have any tumbling skills, fine tune them asap! Any dance or gymnastics experience? The first year is soooo crucial. Unless you’re a no one and a popular picks you in like your junior year or something, you really have no shot at ascending to max popularity if you get off on the wrong foot. But no pressure!

Brunette totally suits you, though! It’s different for us, we looked sooo much like our mom, but with our dad’s hair color, and well -- no offense to daddy dearest, but mom’s so much cuter. Do you have a special hair conditioner that keeps yours shiny? I worry that mine’s kind of dull sometimes when I have to use hairspray to curl it, but naturally it’s gorg, of course. I’d totally been in ballroom classes since sixth grade and I took some tumbling classes when I was younger, but I broke a finger nail and it was tres painful, so I’ve been on a hiatus. I’ve got my natural talent still, though, but I could always find a class for the next few months, I bet. Don’t worry, I so won’t let you down. 

[charmingcalista]

[charmingcalista]

darlingcupcakepan:

It’s more than fun, Little Golden Twin! It totally set me up for life! Cheerleading gave me the best friend of all time and a killer girl squad, a totally hot prince tourney captain boyfriend, and a cute little uniform that gets you into any party and out of any problem. And if you play your cards right, this could be allll yours once you get to the big leagues. We have a cheer camp that you’re totally welcome to join in on over the summer, and most of our upperclassmen have said they’re all really interested in a big-sister-little-sister cheer initiative in the upcoming year, so you have that to look forward to! Your high school will be made if you get in, so good luck, try hard, and stay cute! Being cute is important.

The cute I’ve definitely got covered, mom and dad have always said that Bella and I are the fairest of them all, and since I went blonde, well -- there’s no competition anymore. I can’t wait to get to high school and make new friends and find sisters and cheer for cute boys. I’ll totally do what I can to prepare for the next few months, I’d hate to start high school off on the wrong foot. I mean, is there ever anybody who doesn’t make it their first year and then stands a chance the year after that? I feel like that’s like, high school career suicide.

[charmingcalista]

@atlanticashurricane:

Woaaaaahh, you’re not even in high school yet? Damn, I feel kinda gross for checking you out at the mall the other day then. Just keep your hot level consistent until you get to high school, aight? It’s really how you ensure you have the best high school experience possible, being hot.

You don’t need to treat me like I’m an infant or something, I’ll be in high school in just a few short months. I’m way closer to being a high schooler than I am to being an elementary schooler, and I’m def in my teen years now, which means that it’s time to start noticing how beautiful I am. You’re right on schedule.

[darlingcupcakepan]

What's your favorite part about being cheer captain?

Making so many people happy! Happiness is super essential for a full life, and if my cheers and my smiles and high-kicks and skirt can make a whole roomful of people happy? It’s worth all the practice and sweat and stuff! 

Plus, the happier we make the cutie tourney players, the harder they play and the more we win, and the more we win, the happier everyone is! It’s a win-win-win-win-win-win-win!

[charmingcalista]

Wow, I can’t wait to join the high school cheerleading team someday, you make it sound so fun. Do you have camps or anything over the summer, to like, help me get ready for it?

[charmingcalista]

why did you dye your hair blonde? you looked so much prettier brunette.

Um, excuse you, you should probably get your eyes checked, because yours clearly aren’t working very well at the moment. Anyway, I’ve always wanted to look more like my amazing mom, Queen Emily of Charmington, and people are always reinventing themselves before they start high school, right? I thought I’d get a head start and do it now, so that I’m ahead of the trend, as usual.