Hopeless Realist

Forever young or growing older just the same 

[ourlittlesecretyt]

Anticipating The Word "Nigga" When A White Person is Reciting Rap Lyrics

… and They Skip It 

PLUG

[sherlck-deactivated20140622]

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

[feathery-soul-deactivated201408]

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

[agnosticwitch]

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

[moontideempress]

[vimbia]

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

[jazmynedrakeford]

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

[youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion]

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

[caribe-bby]

Y'all suspect af😂

[dookiediamonds-deactivated20200]

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

[electricocelot]

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

[omgitgnatty]

Summer beauty

[kushandwizdom]

[iraffiruse]

[morekichuwathanyou]

There’s finally a bathroom for me and my magnum dong.

[ourbodiesglow]

[powerpuff-save-the-day]

Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise

[loosescrewslefty]

Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise obviously wasn’t watching the same show.

[credstomusic-blog]

love Josh’s captions

[myownprlvateldaho-deactivated20]

This is so pure

[markruffalo]

So that’s what a Vine is…

[bravelittlepixel]

Dunno if I can be bothered to have kids, like, it’s a lot of paper work and it means I would have to get up early.

[y2mcha-remade-deactivated202006]

[slightlypsychic]

“Chris Hemsworth’s character in Ghostbusters was so useless! He was stupid and he was just there as eye-candy for the female audience! And he was the only male lead character!”

Dear haters:

Does it bother you when the only lead character in a show who’s the same gender as you is brainless useless eye-candy

Does it

Does it really

That must be so terrible for you 

[magicgirlwrites-blog]

I personally think they should put him every movie from now on. And he doesn’t even have to speak. He can just stand off in the corner…..maybe with no shirt.

[heptagram]

[heavenhillgirl]

[frankie]

[leaveful]