Sometimes, I write things.

Amanda. Mid-Twenties. Mother. Lover of all things fic and Harry Styles. Fic Library Masterlist. My Fics.

[chasingafterinfinity]

Do youuuu know a fic where Harry's a vet and has a son??? There's also a babysitter named Marigold

I do not but gimme a bit and I'll see if I can find it for you!

[guccifloralsuits]

I can’t believe Harry Styles invented the moon and stars and the entire universe on this day in 1994

[harrystylesdaily]

waseem: Happy BD soupy 🍾 @harrystyles

[dulciscreaturaa-deactivated2020]

happy birthday my dear ♡

[urie]

my depression is just like “hey instead of making you sad we’re going to make you really lazy and unable to function so that people just get annoyed with you rather than feel bad for you”

[kind-heart-deactivated20220821]

You Can’t Have Both Of Us

Description: where harry’s girlfriend is insecure about his friendship with y/n and makes him choose between them.

Author’s Note: this was requested so thank you to the lovely anon who requested it! i also didn’t want to create a name for harry’s girlfriend so that’s why i literally just kept calling her harry’s girlfriend. also, i have not written in a while, so i’m sorry this is proper shit. not edited yet! xoxo lee

———–

Before the flashy outfits, the Gucci campaigns, the movie premieres, or his first solo tour – there had been her. She had been there before any of this had. She had been in the audience of his very last performance with One Direction, and she had celebrated with him when he completed his first solo album. She had coached him through his doubt when he would call her from the set of Dunkirk, and she had wept tears of pride when the movie was released and resonated with people throughout the world. She grieved with his family through the loss of his stepfather, and she celebrated with them a year later through happy tears at the beautiful legacy that he had left behind. Since the very moment that she and Harry had crossed paths at a mutual friend’s party, she had been alongside him through it all.

She could not remember the exact moment that Harry became her best friend, but what she did know was that Harry had become so entrenched into her life that one day she woke and realized that she could no longer imagine her world without him in it.

So when she casually strolled up to Harry’s luxurious London home after finishing with work, she imagined it to be like any other typical Thursday evening. However, as she gently pushed open the front door to his home, her body completely froze in the lobby due to the sound of Harry engrossed in an intense conversation with his girlfriend of four months.

“Harry, I can see the way that you both look at each other.”

“Yeah?” Harry had asked, his amusement evident through his voice. He was not visible to her, but she could clearly imagine him leaning against the wall of his large kitchen with his arms firmly folded across his chest, wearing a smirk that tugged on the corner of his mouth. “And how is that?”

“As if you are completely in love with one another,” his girlfriend replied.

Harry paused briefly before responding. “You know it’s not like that,” he argued.

“Harry, she is your first priority,” his girlfriend continued. “She always comes first to you.”

“That’s not true,” Harry muttered, yet it is evident that he was striving to convince himself of this more than he was trying convince his girlfriend. “She’s my best friend. Nothing more.”

She listened attentively as a sarcastic snicker escaped from his girlfriend. A wave of guilt washed throughout her, for she was aware that eavesdropping on Harry’s conversation with his girlfriend was completely wrong. She wished nothing more than to leave the couple in the comfort of their own privacy, but she feared that even the slightest movement would catch their attention, and well, let’s just say that Harry’s girlfriend had never particularly been a fan of hers.

“She is the first person you tell when you have good news, and she is the first person you confide in when something is wrong. You drop everything for her the moment that she needs you, and you will always defend her regardless of the situation. When it comes to Y/N, I don’t stand a chance.”

She felt her eyes widen and her heart nearly leap through her chest, for it was at this moment that she realized the reason for their argument was her friendship with Harry. Deciding that it was definitely time to go, she spun on her heals in an attempt to quickly escape through the front door. However, as she was about to exit the home and close the door behind her, the words that left his girlfriend’s mouth leave her frozen in a state of panic.

“Harry, you need to choose.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Harry asked, his voice growing louder with rage.

“It’s her or me, Harry. You can’t have both of us.”

Before any more words could contribute to her broken heart, she slipped silently through the front door and gently pulled it closed behind her. Despite her worry that the couple had heard her movement, she threw open the door of her vehicle and sped as far away from there as she possibly could, desperate to escape the possibility of her best friend abandoning her.

Throughout her entire drive home, her mind constantly replayed the memory of the night that she had first met Harry. Both attending a mutual friend’s party, she had stumbled onto the balcony, desperate to escape the prestigious conversations that were ongoing throughout the night. The last thing she had expected was for her eyes to land upon One Direction’s front man, but sure enough, there stood Harry Styles. Clothed in a black rolling stones t-shirt and with his long curly hair falling past his shoulders, he leaned on the railing on the balcony and stared at the beautiful view of London. She had been unsure if he would find her presence uncomfortable, but when he extended his arm to offer her a swig from the bottle of Whiskey in his hand, she knew that was his way of asking her to join him. And for the remainder of the night, the two drunken strangers engaged in the most profound conversation that either of them had ever had.

She was confident that Harry would not throw that away. She knew that their three years of friendship meant more to him than a girlfriend of four months. And besides, Harry had been unsure about his girlfriend at the beginning, but he had decided to see where it would lead. Despite his beautiful girlfriend being one of the most successful models, she still felt that Harry could do better than her. And perhaps those feelings were due to the ones that she felt – the feelings that she had buried so deep within her that she could not even recognize them anymore. The butterflies that swarmed within her when she was around him? She had convinced herself that those were normal. The disappointment within her anytime that he had a girlfriend? She convinced herself that was jealousy over her best friend having less time for her. She convinced herself that Harry was her soulmate in the form of a best friend, but little did either of them realize that perhaps they were simply just soulmates.

Harry eventually arrived for Taco Thursday. It was a tradition that the friends had made when they first met, and it was actually one of the reasons that they even became as close as they had. They had promised that one Thursday of each month, they would cook as many tacos as possible and would then force themselves to eat every single of them while watching the most cliché romantic-comedies ever made.

“Wasn’t sure if you were going to show,” she commented as Harry strolled through the front door of her apartment.

“Have I ever not shown up?” Harry responded.

“In fact, there was a point where you didn’t show up for over an entire year,” she joked, smiling at him through a devilish grin.

Harry rolled his eyes as a chuckle fell from his mouth. “I was touring the world, darling.”

Harry rested his bag on the top of her dining table before making his way across the room to approach his best friend. “Come here,” he demanded as he pulled her into his arms. She always noticed that Harry never hugged her like a friend, for he would pull her into his embrace and tightly wrap his hands around her entire body so that he could grip onto her waist. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.” Harry then dropped his lips to rest on the top of her forehead, leaving a gentle kiss on her burning skin.

“So how’s everything been?” she asked, prying for information on the break-up that she assumed had happened between him and his girlfriend.

Harry turned away from her, grabbing a spoon from her cutlery drawer and directing his attention towards the sauce that he was preparing for their tacos. With his back turned to her, Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Everything’s fine,” he reported. “Nothing new.”

She knew Harry far too well to believe in his clear dishonesty. She knew that when he turned his back to her then he was upset about something, and she also knew that Harry could never look someone directly in their eyes and blatantly lie to them.

“Harry…” she prompted, revealing to him that she knew he was withholding the truth.

Harry sighed in defeat, causing his shoulders to deflate. He dropped the spoon onto the kitchen counter and stopped everything he was doing. Turning his head only slightly to peer over at her, she noticed a pain-filled expression consume his face.

“I have to choose,” he reported.

Of course, she already knew what he was referring to. However, she forced herself to raise her eyebrows and widen her eyes, hoping that she appeared shocked enough for Harry to believe it. “Choose between what?” she asked.

“You and her,” Harry responded. “I have to choose between you or her.”

She laughed nervously, uncertain with how to respond now that he had actually said the words out loud. “Why would you have to choose?”

“Apparently she is insecure of our friendship,” Harry explained. “Which makes sense considering that we act as a married couple.” 

“Harry, it doesn’t make sense,” she argued. “Besides, if anything was ever going to happen between us then it would have long ago.”

And for a brief moment, she and Harry did not say a single word, but stared at each other, for they both knew deep inside that her words were not true. They both knew that were was still that chance for them, but neither of them would allow themselves to ever say it.

“Well, you’re my best friend and even though you’re a pain in my ass, I also don’t know what the fuck I’d do without you,” Harry said. 

She smiled to herself, for she knew that nothing could ever come between her and Harry. She would always choose him, and she knew that he would always choose her in return. Even more so, she knew that Harry was not a man that would ever choose between two people that he cares about.

So when Harry arrived to her home the next morning, wearing a face of exhaustion and a dishevelled hairstyle, she knew that it was done between him and his girlfriend. He had entered into her home, holding a box in his arms and allowing his eyes to gloss over with tears. She felt her eyebrows furrow in confusion, for she did not realize that Harry had actually liked his girlfriend this much. In fact, he typically had just complained about her, so she was surprised that he was even upset at all about their breakup.

She placed her hands on her hips and nodded her head. “So it’s done then?” she asked. “Things are officially over between you and her.”

She watched his bottom lip quiver as he gently lowered the box onto her kitchen counter. Inside the box were not his girlfriend’s belongings, but it was hers. It was the blanket that he had bought her so that she would stop stealing his whenever she visited his house; it was her old typewriter that she allowed him to use when writing his songs; it was the countless movies that she had brought over for movie nights; and most importantly, it was her favourite sweater of his that he always allow her to sleep in whenever she would drunkenly spend her night in his guest bedroom.

She tried to say something, but no words were able to escape from her mouth. “Harry?” she eventually said, her voice breaking as the words escaped her mouth.

“I really care about her, Y/N,” he whispered.

She did not even realize that the tears had been forming in her eyes before they were already continuously streaming down her cheek. She shook her head, unable to accept that this was actually happening.

“She and I may actually have a chance and I don’t want to throw that away,” Harry explained.

“So you’re just going to throw me away instead?” she asked, nearly inaudible due to the heaving of her chest and the trembling of her voice. 

Harry did not reply. Instead, he simply lowered his head, concealing the single tear that had lingered in the corner of his eye. It was clear that the decision was hurting him just as much as it was hurting her, but the worst part for her was that he was still deciding to walk away from her. 

“Harry, I’ve been with you through it all,” she wept. “It’s always been you and me.”

Harry squeezed his lips together, fighting the tears that were battling to escape. Harry opened his mouth to speak, but at the very first word that left his mouth, he slammed his mouth shut again, knowing that he would completely break down if said anything to her.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he eventually whispered, using the quietest voice that she could hardly hear him.

She nodded her head, realizing that her best friend was choosing his girlfriend over their three-year friendship. She lifted up her shoulders, fixing her posture so that she stood study before him. She lifted her hands to her eyes and wiped away the puddle of tears that had gathered beneath her eyes.

“It’s okay, Harry,” she responded through a clear voice. “I understand.”

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but she did not allow him to continue any further.

“Let’s just make one thing clear,” she said, cutting him off. “If things do not work out between you and her, then don’t you dare ever return to me. You are deciding to walk away from me, so the minute that you step out that front door, you and this beautiful friendship of ours will be dead to me.”

She strived to stand strong and to be firm in her words, but all she wanted in that moment was for Harry to wrap his arms around her and whisper that everything would be okay. She did not need much in the world, but she knew that she needed him. He had become a part of her and she could not imagine living in a world without Harry by her side.

Harry leaned forward and rested his lips against her ear. “I love you, Y/N.” As he lifted his lips to rest against his forehead, she closed her eyes, appreciating the feeling of his kiss one last time. He remained there for what seemed like forever, terrified to break away from her, for he knew that it would be their last moment together. And before either of them had been ready, Harry dropped his lips from her forehead. He did not take a final look at her, for he knew that one glimpse at her and his entire heart would break. 

So Harry turned his back to her and exited through the front door of her home. The moment that he disappeared from her sight, a deafening sob escaped from her mouth as her body sunk to the floor. 

Her best friend and the man that she loved with every piece of her heart no longer existed to her. 

[onedirectionfanfics]

Meet Your Next Fanfic

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Happy reading!

[yes-daddy-i-will-deactivated201]

A Damn Good Song

Pure, unadulterated smut.  I fucking love this.  I was inspired on my drive to the beach yesterday, so here you go!  Please reblog and let me know if you love it too!  4k+ words Unprotected sex LEGGO

A massive thank you to my honey @for-fucks-sake-h for talking with me through this because I was so excited sdklfjdslkfjdslkfjd I LOVE YOU 

There were so many things to love about the great city of New York. There was something magical about taking pictures in Central Park, about feeling lost in the big crowds of people at Times Square, and the smell of fresh pizza wafting through the air. Y/N, however, was especially loving the no credit card minimum at the rooftop bar that she’d come across.

She hadn’t planned on stopping off at this bar but it had been a longer day than she’d been prepared for and she just wanted a drink or two to take the edge off and hopefully help her sleep better. She just hoped that she wouldn’t be considered under-dressed in the jumper and skinny jeans that she was wearing. She made her way to the lift and pressed her finger against the button that signified she’d ride to the rooftop.

As she stepped off the lift she almost couldn’t believe her eyes. She knew that Harry Styles was going to be in the city around the same time as her because he was hosting the Met Gala but she never expected to actually see him in the flesh. She almost turned around and went back down to the floor but she decided that she’d allow herself to stay and enjoy the view (of both Harry and the skyline.)

She made her way to the bar and ordered one of the house mixed drinks, trying not to keep glancing at him. She’d always fancied him from the day that she first saw his face but she didn’t want to be that girl. She wasn’t going to take her phone out and sneak photos of him, she wasn’t going to walk up and introduce herself, and she definitely wasn’t going to sit there and burn holes through him with her gaze.

Once she’d finished her first drink and had the small straw tucked in between her lips to take her first sip of the second, she heard the bartender’s voice and she looked up to try to bring her focus to what he was telling her.

“-on him.”

She furrowed her brows together, missing basically everything that he’d told her.

“I’m so sorry, could you repeat that?”

“The gentleman down the bar in the glasses said that your drinks for this evening are on him.”

Keep reading

[jtbarnett]

“I’m not the same person anymore.”

— J.T. Barnett

[just-six]

“I remember when I knew you.”

— six word story // aa-elmo

[astoryillnevertell]

“From romantic to tragic, real quick”

— Modern day relationships

[leesh]

did he…..cut it

[thegoodvybe]

[pendantstyles]

Worth a Thousand Words

Taking a picture of herself in the living room of their apartment everyday for a year seemed like a good idea at the time. Something new, something innovative Y/N could do to create a “living” scrapbook of their lives every year they were together. She remembered how the dimples carved into Harry's cheeks as she breathlessly explained how they would take one picture every day on the MacBook, even if they were arguing or looking particularly un-photogenic; this would, after all, showcase the trials and tribulations of their relationship but could only serve as their reminder that they had made it through the worst days together and could undoubtedly do so again in the coming years. They could look at the pictures every New Year’s Eve, ending the current year with a slideshow of the greatest hits from the previous year before readying themselves to start afresh in a few hours. Y/N had been ecstatic about the idea, convinced that this would be the start of a new tradition that they would continue until the years went by with them eventually being edged out of pictures by their gaggle of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. But looking at the project now, all she could see was a stop-motion film of their relationship flickering out. 

    The inceptive pictures were beautiful. Shots of Y/N and Harry kissing at midnight on New Year’s Eve. She and Harry grinning bleary-eyed next to a large stack of pancakes early in the morning. The look of surprise on her face as she walked into a flower-filled and candlelit living room on Valentine’s Day. The two of them standing proudly next to an intricately constructed pillow and blanket fort. The project had gone so well the first year she decided she was right to continue on, and had done so for the second, third, and fourth year in a row. But looking at this last “scrapbook” of the fourth year was when Y/N felt that tightening in her chest, the panic beginning to swell inside her. 

    Harry appeared in these new pictures less and less, petering out by the fifth month and disappearing completely by the eighth. His presence in the pictures he was in felt forced and uncomfortable; sometimes glancing down to his phone, sometimes angling his body away toward the door, or offering a tight-lipped smile that looked pasted on. Even in the background of her solo shots, she could see the fraying of her relationship. Her bright smile was always neutralized by an empty takeout box that Harry had left on the coffee table after he had gotten home too late to have dinner with her, or the red dress she had taken off and lazily left hanging over the arm of the couch after Harry stood her up for a date, or the comforter and pillows haphazardly arranged as a makeshift bed on the sofa after a particularly nasty argument that resulted in him sleeping on the couch and leaving for work in the morning without seeing her. 

    Looking at some of the pictures Y/N recalled her feeble attempts to get Harry into the shots, to get him excited to look through their scrapbook at the year’s end.

    “Come on baby, we can get a really good picture with our tree in the background. Your mum’s been asking to see how we decorated anyway.”

    “I can’t, Y/N. I need to get to the studio. I have deadlines to meet.“ 

    “That’s fine! It would only take two seconds. You can leave as soon as–”

    “I said I can’t. I’m late already,” he said halfway into the hallway, slamming the door behind him. 

    Y/N couldn’t pinpoint the moment that everything had changed. She couldn’t understand what had caused Harry’s indifference. She looked through the daily photos, hoping she could find the exact date that his smile was less enthused and his posture stiffer. But it seemed rather sudden; they had gone to bed one night, laughing and talking as usual and woke up the next with a distance between them that didn’t go away even when they were tangled together, taking the picture for the day. But isn’t that always the way? 

Even now Y/N alternated between looking at the clock and looking at the door, hoping that Harry would walk in with an explanation of how the last few months he’d been really bogged down with work and laden with stress that he had unfairly taken out on her. She tried to glean as much information as she could from the note he had left on the fridge this morning to figure out when he would be back (Heading out with the guys, be back later), but to no avail. Resigned to her fate, Y/N silently set the timer on the camera in conjunction with the New Year’s countdown, turned off all the lights in the apartment except for the ones in the living room and shuffled over to the room, prepared to take the shot.  

    Three!

    Y/N looked around at the walls of the room, stripped of her pictures and knickknacks.

    Two!

She squared her shoulders, and picked up the suitcases she had calmly packed when she read his note.

    One!

Y/N’s face was a blank slate when the camera clicked and as soon as she was sure the picture had been taken, she placed her key next to the open laptop that displayed the last picture she would take in their home and stepped out to face 2019 alone.  

[pendantstyles]

wHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BUBBY?????? ANON WHO SUBMITTED THIS,,,, WHERE ARE YOU????? this concept’s so new and so original and it’s very emotional and i could feel it in its entirety and i’m just :(((

[urflowersdied]

WHOEVER WROTE THIS PHEW PLEASE THIS IS INCREDIBLE I WANNA READ MORE FROM YOU

[pendantstyles]

^ we speak the truth here

[pendantstyles]

i know who’s the author of this now ahehehe :D

[tokyoharry]

Perfect (pt. I)

[requested]: you’re bigger than harry’s past girlfriends, and the paparazzi/fans don’t hesitate to point it out.

“Harry, I’m not going to go play football with you.”

Your boyfriend pouts at you from where his tall frame leans against the open doorway. “American football,” he briefly corrects, before crossing the room to plead with you one last time. “C’mon kitten, it’ll be fun.”

Currently curled up on the couch in his dressing room, you had one of his plain black hoodies hanging off your torso. Harry leans over you to press a soft kiss against your forehead. “You look so good in my clothes,” he murmurs, and you feel his lips curling up into a smile against your face.

You never used to do it. Wear his clothes, that is. At the beginning of your relationship, you had always been self-conscious about your appearance next to Harry’s. 

After all, he was practically a contemporary Greek God. And you…well, let’s just say that compared to Harry’s past girlfriends, you felt as if you were a huge downgrade.

Of course, Harry would practically snap at you whenever you would say this. Or when he would see your lingering eyes on your thighs in the mirror. Even if it had confirmed his tardiness to an extremely important meeting, he would always make sure to list out every single little thing he loved about you (which took about half an hour, before you begged him to go to work). 

That didn’t stop you from thinking those things in the safety of your own mind, though. You couldn’t help it. You grew up flipping through those magazines where all the women were stick-thin. The headlines were always beautiful! Hot! Sexy!

And you wanted to be one of them. 

Harry’s breath is hot against the nape of your neck. “I want to show you off to all my friends. C’mon, just one game for me.” 

It was your first time visiting Harry on tour. 

“All your friends have already met me,” you argue, even though technically you have only met all of his band members a total of one time. But he’s already dragging you up by the waist. “Harry! I don’t even know how to play!”

“I’ll teach you, sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

Keep reading

[harryforvogue]

More Than Okay

a 3k word blurb in which harry and his girlfriend are pregnant, but cannot afford it.

i also wanted to just say that i didn’t want to just assume everyone reading this could relate, so i didn’t give the character an identity. she isn’t y/n. she’s just a girl who has been dating harry for three years. it could be you if you’d like it to be. it could be anyone if you’d like it to be. thanks :-) happy new year.

Keep reading

[hallwayharry-deactivated2021071]

[harrystylesdaily]

Harry out in Tokyo, Japan - January 5 (via tokyoaviationphoto007)