Me Versus World

Growing up immaturely.

[chauarchived]

It feels like not long ago we #prayforparis and for #Syria. Unfortunately Today we #prayforbelgium and we #prayforankara. But from here and everyday after, I hope and pray for the #world. I hope and pray that despite our differences in language, culture, race etc. - we can love and respect each other as equals. Because at the core, we are the same - we are all human. Let's get rid of hate, of misunderstanding, of pain. Bring love, bring peace, bring unity. #ibelieveinhumanity #wecandopeace #yestolove

[chauarchived]

For Paris, for peace, for all of us. #prayforparis #peace #oneworld #love #paris

[chauarchived]

Quarter life crisis confirmed. #purple

[chauarchived]

28

Every year around the day I get older, I tend to reflect on the year gone by and my life progress, then I blog about it. In previous birthday blogs, I would bitch and moan about my lack of achievements. This year I will try to do less of that.

When I turned 27, I was finding myself in a lot of unease settling back in Melbourne. I missed London and I still do. I’m lucky enough to have two homes and my heart was divided. I felt bored and uninspired. So without the same ease and access of traveling to new countries for a weekend or escaping with a pint any day of the week with my bestie, I had to find other ways to challenge myself.

And NO, finding love is not one of them despite my myriad of cranky posts about being single. That is something not in my control, unfortunately. I can’t just decide to one day fall in love and go out and pick a a guy to do that with. 

My goals were (as per recorded on iPhone notes app):

Donate blood

Travel to a new Victorian town

Create a cocktail

Do something to face fear of heights

Learn to ride a motorcycle

3 out of 5 ain’t bad right? I didn’t create a new cocktail but I did taste many new ones throughout the year. I think that half counts. I even went to a whisky tasting session and a wine tasting day! That’s alcohol appreciation. Sadly I didn’t get to learn to ride a motorcycle either. On the upside I did do things to face my fear of heights. I went abseiling face first down a side of a building and rock climbing in Vietnam! 

In this 28th year I want to explore my dark side. I am after all human and therefore not perfect. I want to exploit my flaws and find ways to overcome my insecurities. I want to test my limits and know I am in control. I want to jump in the deep end and make sure I swim, not sink. I want to be uninhibited. I don’t want to worry about love or money or responsibility.

So enough blabbing. Let’s drink to ridiculousness and shenanigans!

[chauarchived]

About 20 years apart. Where my drinking genes come from...cheers! #bentre #vn2015 #family #nguyen

[chauarchived]

bff. not.

[chauarchived]

Mundane

Someone recently told me I should try to write something dull and ordinary from my daily life on my blog and somehow make it interesting. If I was that talented a writer, I’d have followers and be getting paid to do this. 

Plus I’m pretty sure I make do with the “excitement” I have in life....note sarcasm just to blog at least once a month. To be honest if I’m not travelling, I’m spending all my other time drinking alcohol and planning my next adventure. 

But I like to please my minimalist crowd where possible and so here are some unremarkable observations and thoughts  I’ve made or had the past week or so....

You know that bit of skin that has flaked off a bit around your finger nail but is still holding on my a bit and hurts like hell when you touch it? How is there no cure for this yet? Work on dermatologists...

I love tea. Then I proceed to make tea. Tea too hot to drink so then I leave to cool. I get distracted by book or TV. Tea now too cold. Life is hard.

Rain is good, only when I’m indoors. P.S. Thanks for the wet as dix weather last weekend Melbourne.

Mondayitis is a real thing. I was hella tired today...for no reason but Monday.

I sing out the first line of songs....every single time. Annoying or endearing? You decide.

How is it that my milk leaked on me the other day when its now packaged with that airtight seal??? 

I wish I could speed read. 

Is saving a handful of Shapes in the box even worth it?

When you lose a sock under your doona....am I right??

OK bye.

[chauarchived]

NO to Racism

[chauarchived]

Rejector problems

[chauarchived]

2015.

My oh my does time fly. The year has only just started and I have been with some doozy highs and some shitty lows. If that's an indication of what's to come for the rest of 2015, I might just crawl into a hole and cry. 

Is it too much to ask that I just get mediocrity this year? More preferably lots of highs and very minimal lows but I didn't want to sound greedy. 

Normally around this time I think about what I should achieve for the next twelve or some kind of self improvement bullshit. Seeing that my success rate has been fairly low, I've decided to ditch that plan this year. 

Instead I'll  just make some guidelines to keep my sanity and morals in tact. In the past year, I've seen a fair bit of life's shittier side happen to my friends and family (I won't go into my shit too much) and it's made me realise some things. Spend time with the people you want to and cull the poisonous people in your life. Time is limited and shouldn't be wasted on them. 

So rest assured my Facebook friends list, my contacts list will be shrinking and funtimes with the people I adore will be growing. 

Getting older and being single still can really toy with your morals. I mean what's wrong and right is just a blur for me sometimes. I don't know when the heck I'll find the man of my dreams (if ever) so what's a girl to do in the meantime?? My guideline this year is to make good decisions and never settle when it comes to men. 

2015, just be kind to me alright?! 

[chauarchived]

#Creature of habit #2015

[chauarchived]

Level 99 Bitch.

A couple of weeks ago I had a catch up dinner/secret santa do with a group of girls from high school. Most I was close with, but there were a couple I don't particularly talk to. It was Christmas so hey, why not extend the invitation? I'm practically as giving as Santa Claus.

So one of the girls with - the one I would be least close with, to be honest she's more a friend's friend than my own - made a comment that has bothered me since then. 

Anyway in conversation my time in London came up where I did mention a couple of my 'flings'. Now I won't justify my behaviour for the past two or so years but I'll be honest about it because I'm simply not ashamed nor do I regret it. I was living carefree and I would say I was a bit promiscuous. What else is a single girl with needs to do? And well European culture is so interesting to explore. *wink*

Following my story to my friends, this girl had to nerve to make this comment in the most condescending and judgmental tone with the most unimpressed facial expression "so your hobby in Europe was having sex?" 

The angry bitch in me wanted to say this at the time....

"EXCUSE ME? What the f**k do you mean by that? It is none of your business what I do and you have no right to judge me. Your tone is rude and frankly your secret santa gift was thoughtless and cheap. BITCH" 

The realistic me was a bit awed and quickly moved on to tame the rage. Some may mistaken that for maturity but really I had a couple drinks and wasn't quick to react.

You're right, I might be overrating and reading it wrong but that is how I read and saw it. You can either agree or disagree. 

As I write this piece I am well aware that I may sound like a hypocrite throughout. I think girls sometime naturally have strong opinions and some of us keep our thoughts quiet while others are outspoken. Those outspoken ladies are sometimes called bitchy or judgmental and I would say I fall into this category. 

What bothers me is this girl insinuated that I was a slut or hoe maybe without saying it bluntly. I don't think one should be judged on their life decisions such as a one night stand with a man if it isn't hurting anyone else. Single me sleeping with a single European guy doesn't negatively affect or complicate anyone else's lives. It's obvious I'm no feminist or anything like that, I just think there should be some mutual respect between the ladies. 

I believe decisions that make someone happy while not harming others is a fine thing. In fact I encourage it. Life is short and you should have fun. And on that matter, life is too short to waste time on people you don't like or don't enjoy being around.

So rest assured I will avoid this girl where possible and instead spend my temporary moments on earth with the people I love most. So here's to 2015 filled with positive friends and family (and a lot of good wine). 

[chauarchived]

I lucked out on some pretty awesome new friends this year. Not just for the gifts, but for all the good times, the laughter, the advices, and more! #blessed #luckyduck #Christmas #bff Loving you guys plenty @fhilsta @josiericketts @laikawemissyou

[chauarchived]

I do love fridge.

[chauarchived]

Wine time with my beautiful Susan #notlesbian

[chauarchived]

How you doin'??

I was on the train to work the other day when a gorgeous Asian guy boarded the train. Why is this news you ask? Well simply because I haven't seen many attractive Asian guys in a long while. They're mostly bordering average to cute nowadays - must be something bad in the water. 

My glee was short lived as immediately after that thought, I started to question myself. 'Wait...is that guy late twenties,potentially dateable-gorgeous OR is he too young for me, cutie pie-gorgeous? 

The late twenties as a single person is so f**king awkward. I can't tell what man is too old or too young, gay or married/taken. I mean not only do I have look at a man's ring finger in as much subtlety as humanly possible, I now have to card them?! Yes I could simply go up and ask them but how can I come across as not creepy?

Picture this scenario play out

Me: Excuse me, hi there. I saw you from over there, I dont mean to be weird but you really caught my eye. I was just wondering are you gay, taken or available?

Unknown hottie: ahhh please leave me alone.

Me: sorry one more question, how old are you?

Unknown hottie: 19.

Me: OK fine bye.

Now that I've said this out loud, I've just made the pathetic realisation that I have no game. 

[chauarchived]

Fool me twice.

You may remember my Valentine post back in February where I briefly spoke about what I thought was potential lover but was all but a fleeting moment of tease and hopelessness. 

http://chau3e.tumblr.com/post/76346153230/february-14th 

When I met him last weekend, it wasn’t because he had planned it or because I did either. It was by chance that we were at the same wedding. I saw him from across the room (no, there was no romantic lock of the eyes or gulp or excitement). My brain went into meltdown, if my face was saying differently. I was torn between talking to him or not. A couple of ‘liquid courages’ later, I said to myself, “f**k it, be the mature one”

So we talked and I hate myself for it because conversation with him came natural to me. We got along, I was comfortable to talk to him everything flowed. No awkwardness or ridiculous small talk.  I wanted to dislike him now, because he well - lets face it - he rejected me. I wanted to justify that it was OK for me to move on if he was jerk. 

Now I’m back to that point where I’m lured in by false hope. I hate me sometimes, seriously if it didn’t hurt so much, I could punch myself in the face for some of the dumb shit I’ve done in my life including this stupid thought.

Let’s just establish that I am the pain that’s in my ass, and I’ve cannot be bother with romantic emotions anymore. My heart now belongs to booze, bed and bongo drums. OK, not the drums but gotta admit they’re fun to play.